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Hi, I'm a straight-leaning male and I was hoping to get some advice from people on what to do about a particular situation that has been troubling me for years.
I met this boy in 7th grade and we became best friends despite not having anything really in common besides watching pro wrestling. He usually was very sweet and considerate, and a good friend. I always suspected that he was gay because of his mannerisms, but as an individual who tries not to be prejudiced, I never held it against him or thought any less of him.
At the age of 15, I started getting feelings for him, which surprised me because previously I had only had feelings for girls. I decided to keep it secret and not tell him anything because he was closeted at the time, and made a lot of anti-gay remarks, and I figured he might actually be straight and just happen to act kinda queer.
Anyway, we lost touch when we were 17, and I wrote an e-mail during a particularly stressful period about a year later and we got back in touch. He told me he was gay, and we began seeing each other again.
Then one day, he posed a hypothetical question to me. Would you go on a date with me. I said I would if we were in a gay-friendly neighborhood (our neighborhood is conservative Catholic and homophobic) He then asked me if I was gay, and I said I was straight.
He stopped responding to my e-mails to set up hang out times and when I finally got him to answer why he had stopped responding, he said because I rejected him.
Given the chance to do it over, I would have told him I was unsure of my sexuality.
The point of the matter is in 2 weeks I am going back to New York City for an extended period of time, and I'm leaving all my college friends behind. I don't really have any friends in New York and I would love to become friends with him again and maybe more. But since he doesn't respond to my e-mails, I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice they could offer me. Thank you very much.
I met this boy in 7th grade and we became best friends despite not having anything really in common besides watching pro wrestling. He usually was very sweet and considerate, and a good friend. I always suspected that he was gay because of his mannerisms, but as an individual who tries not to be prejudiced, I never held it against him or thought any less of him.
At the age of 15, I started getting feelings for him, which surprised me because previously I had only had feelings for girls. I decided to keep it secret and not tell him anything because he was closeted at the time, and made a lot of anti-gay remarks, and I figured he might actually be straight and just happen to act kinda queer.
Anyway, we lost touch when we were 17, and I wrote an e-mail during a particularly stressful period about a year later and we got back in touch. He told me he was gay, and we began seeing each other again.
Then one day, he posed a hypothetical question to me. Would you go on a date with me. I said I would if we were in a gay-friendly neighborhood (our neighborhood is conservative Catholic and homophobic) He then asked me if I was gay, and I said I was straight.
He stopped responding to my e-mails to set up hang out times and when I finally got him to answer why he had stopped responding, he said because I rejected him.
Given the chance to do it over, I would have told him I was unsure of my sexuality.
The point of the matter is in 2 weeks I am going back to New York City for an extended period of time, and I'm leaving all my college friends behind. I don't really have any friends in New York and I would love to become friends with him again and maybe more. But since he doesn't respond to my e-mails, I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice they could offer me. Thank you very much.
