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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know many of you have significant others and family for whom you are responsible for food.

I'm interested to hear how to might resolve the purchasing of non-veg*n items for the important non-veg*n people in your life.

The boyfriend's birthday is today and I promised to take him out to dinner for his birthday when I come back from India. And I've now just realized what that means: a meat dish.
 

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If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
In my family, if I'm buying it or cooking it, which is everything, it's vegetarian. Don't like it, don't eat it.

Unfortunately that doesn't help you....If you're going out to dinner and don't actually have to cook meat, I would just let the meal slide and pay for whatever he orders. Just try to encourage him towards non-meat dishes, in a sneaky way. "Ooh, they have spinach ravioli on special! Doesn't that sound good?"

Also, funny note, it's my husbands birthday today too. Happy birthday to your man
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Limes View Post

Also, funny note, it's my husbands birthday today too. Happy birthday to your man
Yours, too!
 

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I'm 16 so I don't really get a say in what anyone eats. I do most of the grocery shopping because my mom doesn't really have time. Sometimes this means buying meat. My mom usually spares me buying fresh meat because it grosses me out too much, but if we're out or there's a sale sometimes she'll ask me to pick some up while I'm at the store. It grosses me out and usually I try to touch it as little as possible and keep it separate from my food.
I know some are opposed to even buying it for others, and for the first year or so of my vegetarianism I never would have considered it, but I figure that if I don't pick it up she'll just have to make a separate trip to the store for it (my brother is adamantly anti-vegetarian, but my mom doesn't eat too much meat when he's not around), so if I get it for her I'm just saving gas, sparing the environment, and saving my mom time.
 

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I have moved back with my parents, a situation that is temporary, I am working on it... Anyway my mother sometimes tries to get me to buy meat for her. She knows that there no way I would ever go in the meat section of the supermarket, I wont even look at it when I am there. She has got me to buy plastic packaged ham from the cold cheese and milk section for her though, and also recently, some meat pies.

I really dont have a choice in the matter, until I move out again, I have to live by their rules to an extent. They make some accommodations for my vegetarianism, and if I refuse to buy things for them they will not feel obliged to help me out in that respect.
 

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If I'm taking someone out for a special meal, they order whatever they want. I don't try to control other people's choices. If I'm cooking, it'll definitely be veg, though.
 

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I buy non vegan products in my weekly shop, my boyfriend and I alternate paying for the food each week, our shopping is the same each week. He's an omni and happy that way, but he eats vegan meals pretty much every day and really his animal product intake is minimal due to ease and because he loves my cooking
If I wanted to, we could buy our own food, or split the bill so he technically pays for the animal products... but the net result is the same.

I don't cook animal products, it would make me uncomfortable. I also don't like to serve animal products to guests, because it makes me uncomfortable, and makes me feel as if I'm saying vegan food isn't good enough for my guests. I also like to show case good vegan food. My boyfriend has cooked and served a vegetarian part to a meal before, but by and large, I like to serve vegan food.

If I buy someone a meal out, I don't mind what they order, I'm paying as a gift, but their choices are their choices and their personal responsibility. It's not my fault if others make choices I disagree with, so I don't beat myself up about it. I try not to buy non-vegan gifts though, as that's my choice. I have made exceptions for my boyfriend, because I know he makes a lot of sacrifices for me and my choice to be vegan. That's the only thing that sometimes makes me doubt if it's right or not, though.
 

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I have picked up the check every now and then even when some of the meals were nonvegan. I do strongly prefer, however, to only pay for vegan items and in general I try to arrange for that to happen. But since you've already promised to take him out to dinner then I think you should follow through. You could suggest a vegan restaurant and/or request that he order veg food.

In situations like you describe, though, I try to just give cash. That way the gift I give is vegan and what they do with it is up to them.
 

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well...i can think of one situation i had similar concerns. i was celebrating my birthday a month ago. and i really had issues about the food. like i didn't want to invite anyone over to my place and have meat dishes for them or have everyone ask me why there is no meat. i also decided against russian banquet restaursant who serve tons of food but lots of it is meat. so i did it on a roofpatio with live music in a restaurant and made it "everyone pays for his own food" event. i still felt bad though because this whole meat was eaten because of me.

in your case of course it won't work, since you said that you will get him a dish.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoBravo View Post

I know many of you have significant others and family for whom you are responsible for food.

I'm interested to hear how to might resolve the purchasing of non-veg*n items for the important non-veg*n people in your life.

The boyfriend's birthday is today and I promised to take him out to dinner for his birthday when I come back from India. And I've now just realized what that means: a meat dish.
I do not buy, make, cook, or have anything to do with meat.

However, at restaurants, I don't say anything.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaineV View Post

I have picked up the check every now and then even when some of the meals were nonvegan. I do strongly prefer, however, to only pay for vegan items and in general I try to arrange for that to happen.
Same here. I usually try to state, upfront, that I'll buy if it's vegan.

I don't see it as controlling anyone's choices or me imposing myself on others. This is my offer and these are their options (vegan of course). My omnivore friends generally understand, but I've had a few on my work crew try to start an argument/intense discussion.
 

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I think if you've decided you're okay with dating a non-veg*n person, you have to be okay with compromise. This might mean allowing meat into your home, watching him eat meat often, and even buying meat. Throwing the caveat of "no meat" for your boyfriend's birthday dinner seems ridiculous to me, especially since most meat-eaters' favorite special-occasion meals include steak or lobster or something fancy like that. If the idea of buying meat for someone is really, really bothersome to you, you probably shouldn't be dating someone who does it regularly anyway.
 
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