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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm 22 and I became a vegan a few months ago... My father was disappointed and said it was stupid right away, but my mother was like "Do what you want, I'm not gonna stop you". And she was kinda nice to me, she told me I shouldn't worry too much about my father's comments, and she cooked vegan stuff for me when I came for a visit. And things were fine until a few days ago...<br>
That's when we talked over the telephone and she almost started crying, she said she was so nervous and worried that she could hardly sleep at night for the last few days... Anyway, what happened was that there was this vegan family whose baby died because of negligence or whatever. Of course, the media coverage of this case was sensationalistic and obnoxious, they made vegans look bad...<br>
So, my mother was like "I'm so worried about you. Vegetarianism is fine, but vegans are disgusting. Oh the times when you ate meat and cheese and everything! How happy I would be if you started eating normally again!"... I told her that veganism was medically acceptable, even for babies, and that there's a lot of people who were vegan since the day they were born who are just fine. Then she said that, in the newspapers, she read that veganism is still unexplored, that it's a thing that some guy came up with 70 years ago and that it's POSSIBLE to be healthy as a vegan but that you have to be REALLY REALLY careful about getting all the nutrients. I told her that the way they covered it was a stretch and that everyone should be careful about getting all the needed nutrients... And that I am careful about getting my nutrients. Anyway, that calmed her a bit, but she told me that she's ashamed of me, that she doesn't wanna tell other people that I'm vegan and stuff like that. Oh, and she asked me if I was in some sort of a cult and that she was worried that I would stop eating and start just staring into the Sun and stuff like that. She said it was because I didn't wanna discuss my veganism too much with her... I told her it was because we already discussed it once and it would have been tiring for me to discuss it all the time over and over again, but that we can discuss it again if she wants to. I found some website with info on vegan health, nutrients... Stuff like that. I started reading it to her, but she interrupted me, saying something like "Ok, ok... Let's just NOT talk about the way you eat, let's just forget about that... I was upset and I just had to say what I think about (your) veganism, that's all".<br>
Then, today, my father comes to my apartment, he's bringing me some fruit and vegetables that he and my mother bought for me, since they have a car and it's easier for them to transport stuff like that. So then I think "yeah, well, that's nice, they're not that bad after all", but, as he is leaving, my father says something like "I hope this veganism thing ends in less than a month. You know, I TOO am upset about it".<br>
So, yeah... I wanted to get this off my back. I don't really have a question for you, but comments will be appreciated. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
P.S. This issue with my mother kinda goes beyond my veganism... She gets upset about a lot of stuff... She's overprotective and a bit of a control-freak. And she does care about me, it's just that she's doing it in a selfish way. I mean, she's given me more than most parents give to their children, but... I don't know, I guess she's one of those mothers who spoil their children because they're not strong enough to say "no" to them and don't want to see them suffer, even if it's better in the long run.<br>
Oh, another thing she told me was something like... She's waiting for this veganism thing to end, the great thing about me is that I try out a lot of stuff but always return to myself in the end. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"> The horrible thing that I realised is that, by "returning to myself", she means "returning to what she wants me to be", and that I often get overcome by her pressure and then "return to myself", maybe because I'm often insecure and unsure if what I'm doing is right.
 

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Sorry your having these issues <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> I have know people like that in my life and I think your right that they mean well but they also want you to be the person they want. My wife was like that... If you are sure that being vegan is right for you then stick with it and in my experience people give up in the end or maybe they just get used to it ? As you have given into her pressures in the past she probably think that's what will happen again. The first time is always the hardest but once you don't once it get easier <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> I don't understand why she would be ashamed of you for being vegan though. If one of my children wanted to be vegan I would support and be proud of them. Though I suppose some people see veganism as very 'alternative' and therefore somehow bad and I've always had a more alternative outlook and lifestyle. Maybe it would help her if you could give her some more information about veganism ? Some good websites and books that she could read and see it's not all bad and something that is normal. Also as you don't get sick she maybe reassured that it is ok.<br><br>
As you said everyone needs to watch what they eat and I would say that vegetarians and vegans pay more attention to their food and nutrients than people who'll just eat anything even if it's just because we're on the look out for animal products. The only person I know who really watches (or cares) about what they eat is my nan and that is through health issues and growing up through rationing etc<br><br>
Hope things get better for you soon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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That sucks, I have an over protective and paranoid mother too.<br><br>
All you can really do is stick with it and be healthy and show them they are wrong through example. The longer you go without eating animal products while staying fit and happy and full of energy the less they'll be able to say to criticize you.
 

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I agree with werewolf girl sometimes you just have to give this kind of issue time. My mother and family (I'm really close to my extended family as well) gave me a really hard time for the first few months. "I really preferred you being vegetarian - at least you got protein from cheese".
 

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Send your folks this link from the American Dietetic Association about well-planned vegetarian and vegan diets:<br><a href="http://www.eatright.org/about/content.aspx?id=8357" target="_blank">http://www.eatright.org/about/content.aspx?id=8357</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>2steps</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2970331"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I don't understand why she would be ashamed of you for being vegan though. If one of my children wanted to be vegan I would support and be proud of them. Though I suppose some people see veganism as very 'alternative' and therefore somehow bad and I've always had a more alternative outlook and lifestyle. Maybe it would help her if you could give her some more information about veganism ? Some good websites and books that she could read and see it's not all bad and something that is normal.</div>
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<br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Joan Kennedy</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2970367"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Send your folks this link from the American Dietetic Association about well-planned vegetarian and vegan diets:<br><a href="http://www.eatright.org/about/content.aspx?id=8357" target="_blank">http://www.eatright.org/about/content.aspx?id=8357</a></div>
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Well, the thing is... She doesn't really trust the Internet. She rarely uses it, and I think she sees it as something big, dangerous and unreliable.<br>
I told her something like "According to American Dietetic Association, the vegan diet is acceptable", to which she replied with something like "Don't read what the Americans are saying, they all take a bunch of vitamins". I know, I know, I tried to explain... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":rolleyes:"><br>
Anyway, what I'm getting at is... She trusts people around her, people she knows, anecdotal experiences she had... She would probably trust a scientist if it was some charismatic guy who appeared on TV, in a show that she's used to watching.<br>
She's a conformist, so it's hard for her to accept veganism in a non-vegan (or almost anti-vegan) society. A lot of people around her are kinda primitive in their way of thinking.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Werewolf Girl</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2970333"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
That sucks, I have an over protective and paranoid mother too.<br><br>
All you can really do is stick with it and be healthy and show them they are wrong through example. The longer you go without eating animal products while staying fit and happy and full of energy the less they'll be able to say to criticize you.</div>
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Yeah, I guess. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>vegansarawr</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2970362"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I agree with werewolf girl sometimes you just have to give this kind of issue time. My mother and family (I'm really close to my extended family as well) gave me a really hard time for the first few months. "I really preferred you being vegetarian - at least you got protein from cheese".</div>
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So it got easier with time for you? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> I hope it does for me (too).<br><br>
Thanks for the replies everyone.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Hulot</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2970371"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
So it got easier with time for you? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> I hope it does for me (too).<br><br>
Thanks for the replies everyone.</div>
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I hope it gets easier with time for you too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> Sometimes I still get comments from my grandfather that annoy me but the other members of my family have settled down and know I'm healthier than them.
 

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well, you could say to her that cows aren't some vitamin creating machine. they get all of their nutrients through plants. eating meat gives it to you second hand. i'm sure she could understand that. it would also help to educate yourself on the benefits of raw fruits and vegetables. like the difference between complex and simple sugars- or raw food vs. cooked rather. blood ph level and how meat and most cooked foods increase blood acidity while fruits and veggies support healthy alkalinity. these might be things she wouldn't be interested in hearing at first but if you can support your views very knowledgeably and confidently she'll likely eventually not just come to accept your ways but possibly support them and somewhat incorporate them herself. she's a conformist after all, they follow what strikes them as strong. so lead
 

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Your parents don't seem willing to look at impartial information. It might be killing them a little that their influence is growing weaker as you grow more independent. Just keep telling yourself, if they have a problem with how you eat, then they are the ones with a problem. The drama will fade back once they understand the emotional pressure they apply isn't working. Just let your mother know that if she wants to hide your veganism from mutual friends and family, you will not be playing along with the cover-up.<br><br>
I expect your parents think they're just fretting because they love you, they're just too close to it all to see that they're being unreasonable and need to learn how to relate to you as an adult. That will probably get better with time. Except that it will probably all flare up again if you are ever raising a child vegan. Your own good health is your best defense now. It's the one thing no argument can refute.
 

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Your parents reminds me of my Catholic parents, when I left the church and married my non Catholic husband and attend Baptist churches, my mom been bugging me about going back Catholic however that is a different issue but similar in a way.<br>
My family accepts my veg lifestyle in bit and pieces. My mom said well meat isn't good for you anyhow, my one sister when I told her my choices in 09 Christmas, she asked me straight out what type of Vegeterian are you doing Vegan and how your doing it? I am wondering if she knows some Vegans and that is why she knew about it.<br>
My advice to you is to just ask for fruits and veggies and oats and things your intrested into your parents, say that is what I eat and since your living away from them and on your own you should not worry what your parents think. You are your own person , you have your own choices and your old enough to make wise choices on your own. I agree give them time and just hope that someone comes along to educate them.
 

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I'm new to being veg*n and I'm already annoyed at the comments about getting enough protein, nutrients, and vitamins. I mean really? It is socially acceptable for someone to eat fast food three times a day (if they have a fast metabolism and can stay thin...), but it isn't okay for me to plan my diet around plant foods? Do THEY really think THEY are getting THEIR nutrients and vitamins by eating that crap? Ugh.<br><br>
When I first starting looking into this, I was disgusted about factory farming and all that, and I wanted to tell everyone about it. Now I think I'd rather just keep it to myself and be prepared with my own food. People suck.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ade903</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2971263"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm new to being veg*n and I'm already annoyed at the comments about getting enough protein, nutrients, and vitamins. I mean really? It is socially acceptable for someone to eat fast food three times a day (if they have a fast metabolism and can stay thin...), but it isn't okay for me to plan my diet around plant foods? Do THEY really think THEY are getting THEIR nutrients and vitamins by eating that crap? Ugh.<br><br>
When I first starting looking into this, I was disgusted about factory farming and all that, and I wanted to tell everyone about it. Now I think I'd rather just keep it to myself and be prepared with my own food. People suck.</div>
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welcome to the hope for humanity dimming world of veganism! but hey we got your back. i personally have been working on the brain cell growth virus from rise of planet of the apes, but for bovines.. there will be retribution
 

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I think the best thing you can do is continue to eat a well balanced vegan diet and let them see how happy and healthy you are.<br><br>
If your mother thinks vegans are "disgusting" because vegan parents didn't properly feed their baby she should know that there are omni parents that have starved their children as well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I don't really have anything to say except thanks everyone for the advice and support. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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<img alt="" src="http://i751.photobucket.com/albums/xx154/julytwentyfourth/dad.png" style="border:0px solid;"><br><br>
...welcome to my world.<br>
he knows pigs are my favorite
 
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