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Problem with an Omni...

1719 Views 16 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Hampusen
Well... it's not my problem... but... just read :p

Some of you know that my wife is nanny, and we tried to make that family become vegan (they have several health problems) It was the thread, "I'm going to trick some omnis" Some of you may remember... everything went great, but they flinched...

Well... we discovered that the mom of that family, wants to become vegan... however, she has several self confidence problems.... and she thinks she isn't strong enough... Her husband... is a jerk... well... not that bad, but sometimes seems... Her husband is even weaker than her (I think so, but not sure) and this guy is pushing her down.... So, she is not becoming vegan because her husband is pushing her down... Her husband is 50, and he has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes type 2 and some more junk on his blood, but he loves to be unhealthy... yeah...

Their diet... they love to purchase bologna... and maybe they spend several days in a row eating just bologna and cheese... and sometimes some peanuts... but they basically eat all crap (add to this several coffees in a day)

When my wife has a chance and the products, she can cook something... They love to purchase the crappiest meat (cheapest one with white fatty things... ugh) and then, they make my wife cook the entire flesh thing... my poor wife has to smell that odor... ugh....

However, rarely, they purchase living food and then my wife can eat and make something to eat... The other day, she made a vegan soup (with several kind of veggies) I'm sure it was delicious and the momma loved it! However, her husband said to my wife, "Do you know the problem of this food?" My wife, confused asked what, then he said, "Well... it's too healthy for me.... I won't eat it" And he just ate some ham with cheese (without even the bread)

Everyday like that... my wife is so bugged...

However, the problem is bigger.... they do have two kids (one year old and one almost three years old) They do have the same diet!!! As they do not have other food than that damn ham... my wife rarely can do something different... also, they usually purchase $0.39 mac'n'cheese from Target... and they feed them by that way.... Also, on afternoons and weekends, they spend all the day feeding this girls with Vitamin D milk (not while my wife is there, as she does not allow them)

When my wife has the chance and a veggie in the fridge (which is rare) she gives it to the girls... the girls eat it very desperately... well they eat desperately any food and they are rarely satisfied... so that means this girls are starving due lack of nutrients... both of them the 1 and 3 years old!!!! The mom is very slim (size 2)... and she has cholesterol too!

If the husband was not the bugging and cheap he is... this entire family would be vegan for sure, and the mom, the kids eating healthy without nutrition disorder (and my wife could eat there as well) Do you guys how to finish with this murderer? The mom wants to step up her health and live... but her husband doesn't'... and he is destroying that family.
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Whoa, if the wife is understanding I'd talk to her about the kinds of food they keep around. If the wife does the shopping, I'd encourage her to keep a few more fruits and veggies around, even if the husband won't eat them, those kids can't live off ham and mac n' cheese alone.
I am concerned about the kids. The husband can destroy his own health if he wants, and the wife is a grown woman who can make her own choices, but doesn't he care about his kids? They can't eat like that and be healthy, and they have no choice. It's not fair to them. Would the wife be willing to have her kids examined by a Dr., if she hasn't already? Maybe a diagnosis of malnutrition would wake them up to the fact that they have to feed their kids properly.
i would work w/ the mother too. the husband is not a child, if he wants to go out and eat crap, then he can do the shopping for himself. as a mother, she is responsible (in part, the husband is too) for the children's health and well being. she needs to stand up for her children now, otherwise, at their age especially, they are starting at a deficit. even if they are omni's, its not an excuse for unhealthy eating.

start w/ helping her add in things slowly... not going cold turkey, so to speak... it will allow for an easier adjustment, for everyone. start going vegetarian first, then they can move on to transitioning to vegan.

getting the mother involved w/ cooking should help... educating her as your wife and her cook or get snacks together, if possible.

i would suggest also getting some info on health for children to the mother. in a simple, non aggressive way... hopefully, this will alert the mother, and help her gain some of her own convictions.

try the vegetarian starter kit:

(totally free) the site also has alot of other info on nutrition and food needs.

if you can get the mother to try cooking one day vegan. then the next week, two days vegan, and so on.... it may help. if the husband doesnt eat, i say tough...he can go to bed hungry or eat his ham sandwich (that he had to buy himself...haha).

at 50 years old, and two toddlers, how long does he expect to live and have energy and see his children even graduate high school, eating like that?

for a xmas gift... maybe get the mother a subscription to vegetarian times or veg news??i find my VT inspiring w/ the photos of delicious foods!!
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A 50 year-old man, coming off sounding actually enthusiastic about eating unhealthy? This sounds subtly suicidal I must say... sounds like a fine candidate for a big juicy heart attack and triple bypass within the next 10 years. The self-destructive attitude really is disturbing.
Why worry, do the best you can. Help when the opportunity arises. Catching flies with sugar works better than vinegar. Hope to change the guy in time, but don't be upset if you don't. I know people with this narrow I don't care, and I ain't eatin that health cr*p. Good luck and don't get to overly involved. Like I said when the oppotunity arises, do your best.
The wife wants to be vegan, talk to her about JUST HER going vegan, and then discuss ways she can make meals more heathily for the entire family.
i understand your concerns, especially about the kids but i don't know in how far you or your wife have the right to interfere in these people's private lives or the way they educate (and feed) their children, however wrong it may occur to you (unless, of course, they were commiting a crime, which they don't).

i don't know about the relation your wife has to the family, whether it is a really professional one (since she works for them) or rather a friendly, laid-back kind of relation. especially in the former case the family would have all the right to feel annoyed or patronized. still, it is an opportunity to show someone a way to live that would, not after all, decrease their personal health issues and help their children. it's a hard problem to solve.

and by the way, if its mainly about health, a vegan diet is not necessary (although maybe recommendable for the husband) in order to live healthily and maybe the rather radical idea of veganism scares people away more than it's helping them. this one is about health after all, right?

the rest (ethics) is just the things you or most of us wish personally.
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*** I'm going to name my wife per her name: Ana. By that way, will be easier to understand :p

Thanks for your post guys!

We really appreciate it!

This family is tough and weird... the Wife never does groceries... she sends the husband to do them. Sometimes she request some veggies, and also they ask Ana if they needed anything else. Ana then, increases the list with greens and more healthy stuff... but then, the husband comes back from the Grocery Store with a couple of apples, some bananas and hopefully a lettuce (along with 5-6 packs of ham and cheese)

Rarely, the wife goes to the groceries, when she goes, then she purchase almost everything Ana requested her. But the problem, is that the husband always go to do the groceries... as he is cheap. When they go on vacations, they send Ana to pick up the mail, and sometimes they ask Ana to open a letter and explain to them by phone what it said. Once, they needed to know their Statement of one of their checking accounts, they had around $50,000 (and more on the savings) so it's not about money...

The wife usually gets scared when the doctor says somethings wrong. That should be a good idea... try to convince her to bring the kids to the doctor... that will help.

Ana is frustrated, cuz the wife, even told she wanted to go to Whole Foods, but her husband pushes her down always... and she is not strong enough to make the decision.

We were thinking to speak alone with the wife (well, Ana and the mom, no me as I just fix sometimes their computers) But even that will be hard...

I think and hope is about time.... it's very sad to say this, and I do not wish it, but maybe a stoke will be necessary to teach the husband...
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I thought some more about this case. Do you think this could be a power struggle? This is a guy that enjoys being in control of the aspects of the lives of the family members... Then he sees your wife as somewhat of a threat to the order he had established. Now perhaps he has taken his behavior to an extreme just to spite your wife and her efforts. In other words, the best thing to do here may actually be to back off a little.
I do not think it would be that far... at least... is what I think

We really want to help the wife and the girls... today Ana made the wife taste vegan chocolate chips (for baking with cookies) and she loved it... she was amazed about the taste, price and nutrition facts... She really wants to... but this guy is bothering too much...

Ana is going to start to do several vegan baking stuff (the wife loves baking) by that way, she will be "weaker" and she will be getting everyday more convinced about at least, going vegetarian and taking more care about the girls nutrition.

Time ago, they asked us if we keep track of all we eat, and if we read the labels and everything. When we said we do, the wife was amazed, but the husband almost laugh at us.
Poor wife and kids!! I really hope that the wife finds the strength and courage in her to live the vegan lifestyle she wants, and that the husband will respect her decision...

By the way, what's wrong with vitamin D milk?
I see a couple of questions here:

1. To what extent should parental behavior (whether good or bad) be allowed to affect their children?

2. To what extent do you and your wife have the right or obligation to 'interfere' in your clients' lives?

Regarding #1, the classic example is whether parents should be allowed to smoke around their children. The law says yes; many folks would argue "no".

Regarding #2, I agree with the poster above that you are really constrained to VERY tactful gentle pushes in what you consider to be a more healthy direction. Other folks might argue for a more aggressive posture.

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Vitamin D Cow Milk... lactic acid, hormones, and several more stuff. Also, milky cows suffering and... well, you know
I think I just did not specified.

Runswithfoxes, we are being very tactful, the problem is between them, no about us. My wife never pushed her/him/them. That would be the biggest error.
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Thinks are better now!

The family defenses are weakening!!!!

This three last days, they been vegan! They purchased meat and other crap, but Ana is cooking for them 100% vegan (even desserts!) And Ana hided the meat

Also, the mom is now confused about the milk, as she compared the nutrition facts of a fortified soy milk and regular cow milk!

Even the husband, tasted some of the food and love it, however, he's defenses still stong.

However, wife defenses are very low. Ana and her, are going to do groceries again, and Ana is going to only cook vegan! The wife said things like, "We must try to be vegans!" Hopefully, pushing them a bit more, the wife will become vegan, and easily, if mom does, the kids as well!
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HOORAY! That's such great news that it's all starting to improve
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Good job!

The man sounds like a typical man, what a shame.

Sometimes i feel ashamed to have a penis.
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