[veggiewriter]

So, I've been off b/c for a while now, but I'm seriously considering going back on because:

(1) I'm tired of breaking out

(2) I'm tired of the 6-9 day periods I've had the past couple months

(3) Kind of looking forward to no period at all (doc has okay'd me to take the ring continuously, so won't ever have a cycle... unless I decide to).

However, I'm disappointed that the above bothers me so much, 'cause:

(1) I actually like the feeling of having a "real" cycle, cramps and all.

(2) I'm uncertain about the whole hormone deal... I mean, I was on 'em for nearly 10 years, and have only been off for a year... can it really be ok for me to sign on for another 3-5 years, before I want kids?

(3) It costs so much $ (even with insurance & the fact that I get 1/2 of my rings as "samples" from my OBGYN...

(4) I've just started using The Keeper and it's FABULOUS and now it'll just sit under my counter...

I don't know... I'm starting to date again after a bit of a hiatus, and I think this whole thing may be coming up because I want to have fun w/out worrying about periods or babies. Is that wrong?

Should I try to have "fun" w/out trying to ignore the fact that a woman's body has a monthly cycle or should I take advantage of modern medicine?

 

[Jessica Alana]

I think it's something you need to decide. When I got the shot, one of the side effects was no period. That was cool. However, I don't know if I could purposely take hormonal birth control back to back to prevent periods.

I'm not on hormonal birth control now, so I have a normal length, heavy period. I've gotten used to it. It's natural, I suppose.

 

[veggielove]

Its totally up to you. I'm not personally a fan of using BC to completely get rid of one's period, I know a lot of people who have had fertility issues after that. Your "pros" list really only has one thing on it that seems very important to you, and that's that you're breaking out. Maybe a new skin cleanser is in order, or a trip to dermatologist? If you weren't breaking out, would you still want to go on the ring again? If the answer to that is no, then I would see a dermatologist. If you want to stay on the ring because you want to prevent getting pregnant, then of course that's a good idea. Only you (and your doctor) can decide what is right for you.

 

[zoebird]

this is just an alternative. as always, whatever you do is up to you!

to have fun and not worry about babies, an alternative is fertility charting and utilizing some form of barrier method. the barrier needs only be used when fertile which you can determine with charting.

for pms symptoms and related, you might also be interested in the wise woman herbal for the child bearing year by susun weed.

 

[IamJen]

Can you tell us about some of the other alternatives you've looked at? The acne thing can likely be handled without the pill. I'm not sure about the lengthy periods, as that may just be your way. (sorry) However, if you've not been off the ring very long, your cycle could still be funked up from the hormones (funked up being the clinical term).

 

[veggiewriter]

I might check out the Wise Woman... does that have skin info? but ugh, I just don't know. I should be starting a ring tomorrow IF I decide to go back on.

I'm really not looking at any other alternatives: it's either the ring (or I could switch to some other hormonal bc---they've all worked for me in the past, except for the shot, that made me bitchy). But I'm trying to figure out if I should start bc again when I'm not really concerned about getting preggers. I use condoms and am not 20 anymore--it just isn't my biggest concern.

Instead I'm interested in (1) clear skin (and people, I guess when I say 'break-outs' it's not that extreme. I think a derm would laugh at me if I went in for a consult, it's so mild. But I'm almost 30 and I hate 'em. Mostly, (2) I just want to be able to have sex w/out worrying that I'm having a period. That's not that big of a deal if you're in a relationship, 'cause you can just wait it out or explain to your partner that you need to lay a towel down or that they have to deal with the drag of an "Instead," but if you're out dating, sometimes you meet someone and getting your period is just a real bummer. 'Cause who knows if it'll start during your 1st time w/a guy (that actually happened to me about 2 months ago! horrors) or it'll be going and so you'll have to stop what seemed to be a good make-out session, or it'll last for FOREVER--which mine have been. I mean, 7-9 days?! UGH!---in which case you're gonna have to start explaining why you're not putting out, and for a guy to realize that 9 days out of each month he'll have to deal with it is a total turn off.

So, essentially, going on bc would help facilitate sex (clear skin, no periods) rather than keep the babies away. And is that something worth messing up my hormones for? Since my body by itself is happier w/out the bc? But toss dating in there, and my cycle = bad dates. :/

 

[IamJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veggiewriter

But I'm trying to figure out if I should start bc again when I'm not really concerned about getting preggers. I use condoms and am not 20 anymore--it just isn't my biggest concern.

Do you mean to say that you'd be okay with getting pregnant, or that you're not concerned because you use condoms?

 

[veggielove]

A dermatologist will not laugh at you about breakouts of any kind. That would be unprofessional, and you might not believe it, but he/she probably has patients with even LESS breakouts than you get. Some people go just for oily or dry skin, no acne at all.

7-9 days is not too long at all. I had 10-14 day periods before I went on BC. They regularized after I came off BC. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) obviously didn't mind.

To be terribly honest, I don't think that most men care about waiting for "aunt flo" to leave for sex. If waiting 9 days from meeting a guy, he can't wait for sex, I think you are dating the wrong kind of guy. Unless all you want is relationships for sex, I don't think you need to worry about your period. Its natural and normal and men know that too.

 

[veggiewriter]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamJen

Do you mean to say that you'd be okay with getting pregnant, or that you're not concerned because you use condoms?

Well, I'm not trying to get pregnant, but I'm at a point in my life where if I were to become so, I could handle it. Not my dream life, and no private schools like I'd like to provide for my kid, but wouldn't have to move in w/my parents or work 3+ jobs or anything. But yeah, I've been basically relying on condoms to do the job. As well as noting when I'm ovulating and maybe having the guy finish in alternative places, just to be extra careful.

Veggielove, you really don't think guys mind waiting? Maybe I DO date the wrong sort, but either they're all the wrong sort, or they're at least the only type that ever talk to me (?). 'Cause they def seem irritated if they have to deal. Or they act like they don't mind, but then don't call for 2 weeks (if ever again)... All I know is that 2 of my past bf's were thrilled not to have to deal (both told me so) and if bf's were thrilled, I can only imagine how guys I'm just dating feel...

Well, haven't inserted it yet. I think I'll think about it another month. Maybe I should try a visit to the derm. And though you say she/he won't laugh, I don't want an eyeroll either! I went in once about 10 years ago now, and the 1st thing the nurse actually told me was, "Why are you even here? I'm looking at you and your skin isn't even close to being bad as the rest of the patients we see." which totally made me feel like I was wasting the doctor's time...

 

[veggielove]

To be honest veggiewriter I never slept with guys too early on in the relationship, so they had to wait a little longer than even that. I'm certainly not celibate, but in today's world, there are a lot of things we can do besides sex to have fun - not to mention, its a dangerous world out there. I am a strong believer in building a good relationship with someone BEFORE sex, because sex is like whipped cream, and the relationship is like apple pie ;-) Doesn't matter how good the whipped cream is, if the apple pie is no good, the whipped cream can't fix it. ;-)

If a guy wouldn't call me because 10 days was too long for him to wait to whip it out, you can be damn sure I'm glad he didn't ever get a chance in the first place. I think you should be too. And yes, I think the guys you've dated in the past are no good for that reason. You deserve better, and you shouldn't have to entice guys by artificially removing periods from your body. You deserve better, and until you realize you deserve better, and ask it of those you meet, they are gonna continue to treat you this way.

My sister has the same issue with having sex too early, and gets upset when men treat her like an afterthought. I really do believe a man will respect you better if you aren't apologizing for not being able to put out right off the bat. BUt that's another thread, i think, if we so choose to have it. ;-) I really don't think, given all the info you've told us, that using the ring as you've described is the right choice for you.

And seriously, the nurse was probably trying to make you feel better, in her own twisted way. I'd go see one, if you can.

 

[IamJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veggielove

If a guy wouldn't call me because 10 days was too long for him to wait to whip it out, you can be damn sure I'm glad he didn't ever get a chance in the first place. I think you should be too.

 

[veggiewriter]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veggielove

I am a strong believer in building a good relationship with someone BEFORE sex.

Lol, yeah, that's never been my strength. I usually wait to see if the sex is good, and THEN decide if I want to keep seeing him...

Of course, I'm turning 30 and am still single, so maybe that's not the way to go... I just find the whole 'romantic dating' thing to be, well, fake. I don't know. Maybe I'm not not that interesting unless I'm naked.

 

[veggielove]

Sorry to hear that's been your experience. ANd this "romantic dating" thing you speak of - it doesn't have to be the cornball dinner and movie stuff. My husband took me on a date to a fancy restaurant our first date - after the date, we both divulged that we hated fancy restaurants, lol. We've never gone again, and instead spent most of our "courtship" hanging out with friends together, going to concerts, and studying together (we were in college.) We didn't like a forced "romantic" relationship either. It doesn't have to be that way.

I'm just seriously concerned because of the statement "Maybe I'm not that interesting unless I'm naked." That to me sets off alarm bells. I definitely think you need to work on your idea of self-worth.... of course you are interesting with your clothes on too! And if for some strange reason, you actually AREN'T (and I've only ever seen this in people who spent their whole lives depressed and sleeping and never defining themselves) - then BECOME interesting.... join a club, get a hobby, read more, get involved with politics, volunteer to help your community.... lots of choices. All of those things make you interesting, and there are lots of other things to do too.

I understand that sex is an important part of a relationship, but in my own person experience, watching my friends, etc.... "sex first relationship next" NEVER has worked, and the girl always gets hurt when the guy suddenly dissapears, gives some lame reason why he's moving on. Like i said before, I am no prude, but I do know something about good relationships, and i really dont think your current strategy is the best way to start one.