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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
No, I myself am not prego. But I've been thinking. Isn't it a bit unfair that all a man has to do is have a (very pleasurable) orgasm, while a woman has to go through the edema, morning sickness, bleeding gums, fatigue, backaches, footaches, neckaches, mood swings, eye discomfort, and constipation, then, when it's all over, grunt and push something the size of a watermelon out of a lemon-sized opening, after the cervix painfully dilates with horribly painful contractions? Argh. Not to mention the discomfort following delivery.<br><br><br><br>
Does anyone else think this is totally unfair?<br><br><br><br>
yes I know that was a big run-on sentence.
 
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i think its relative- he also doesn't get to experience what must be absolutely amazing things- carrying a baby, feeling it grow and kick inside you... giving birth to it and knowing that your body nurtured, protected, and gave birth to a real life person.... the huge emotional bond and gift that comes from nourishing it and developing its immune system through breast feeding, and all the other amazing stuff that goes with becoming a mum.<br><br><br><br>
no matter how involved he is, he's always going to be very much outside of things on that front, even if he's caring, supporting, and nuturing, and gives his partner and baby-to-be everything he can, she still gets to carry it, and he... he gets to pander to her whims, hold her hair while she pukes, rush out to buy icecream at 3 am, rub her feet, listen to her describe all the sensations and changes and feelings, watch her be fussed over, and feel the baby kick through her belly- but thats as close as he gets to experiencing pregnancy and giving birth.<br><br><br><br>
i'd not want to swap places with a guy to miss out on all that amazing stuff, puking or no puking, pain or no pain, stretchmarks or no stretchmarks, despite the risk of pre-eclamsia, episiostomies, droopy boobs, or anything else- even the potential for my own death as a result of pregnancy.<br><br><br><br>
and it must be very frightening to be a guy in many ways when it comes to pregnancy and birth- he's at risk of paying emotionally and financially for a desicion which his part in potentially ends at that point of orgasm- he gets that very pleasurable sensation (and if he's a good guy, he does his best to make sure you do too, lol!) but then, in many ways, his part could be considered played- while many women share the experience with their partner, we don't need to- we can, and many times do, deal with things without a guy from then on, if needs be.<br><br><br><br>
also, he doesn't realistically have any control over whether or not his potential offspring gets born- a woman could easily decide she's keeping their child, despite any plans they had together, precautions they took together, and decisions they made to the contrary earlier. she could disapear without telling him she's pregnant, and carry their baby to term and have it adopted, or get an abortion, without telling him, etc- she could also tell him she's pregnant and carrying his child, and then abort it with his knowledge- and right or wrong, he'd have little chance of stopping her.<br><br><br><br>
i think pain sucks. i think the risk of injury and death sucks. i think the idea of me experiencing pregnancy and giving birth are scary as hell. but i think that being a mother, while very hard work, brings stuff with it that totally makes all the other bits worthwhile. i feel very lucky that i might one day get to experience it, because i was born female.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>frog67</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
No, I myself am not prego. But I've been thinking. Isn't it a bit unfair that all a man has to do is have a (very pleasurable) orgasm, while a woman has to go through the edema, morning sickness, bleeding gums, fatigue, backaches, footaches, neckaches, mood swings, eye discomfort, and constipation, then, when it's all over, grunt and push something the size of a watermelon out of a lemon-sized opening, after the cervix painfully dilates with horribly painful contractions? Argh. Not to mention the discomfort following delivery.<br><br><br><br>
Does anyone else think this is totally unfair?<br><br><br><br>
yes I know that was a big run-on sentence.</div>
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I think its unfair too. Esp also having your period. Men don't have to suffer once a month like women do. I think women should get more sick days at their jobs. Then we have to suffer more being pregnant. I don't have any kids so I never gave birth but I was prego for almost 2 months and I felt so crappy. I don't ever want to go through that again!
 

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Women shouldn't get more sick days automatically.<br><br>
If a monthly period is debilitating, that should be something worked out with your doctor and disability leave granted.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>hoodedclawjen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br><br><br>
also, he doesn't realistically have any control over whether or not his potential offspring gets born- a woman could easily decide she's keeping their child, despite any plans they had together, precautions they took together, and decisions they made to the contrary earlier. she could disapear without telling him she's pregnant, and carry their baby to term and have it adopted, or get an abortion, without telling him, etc- she could also tell him she's pregnant and carrying his child, and then abort it with his knowledge- and right or wrong, he'd have little chance of stopping her.<br></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
That's what we've been talking about here on VB...for awhile now.<br><br><br><br>
thank you for your reply, it was totally awesome.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>OregonAmy</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Women shouldn't get more sick days automatically.<br><br>
If a monthly period is debilitating, that should be something worked out with your doctor and disability leave granted.</div>
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argh! periods!!<br><br><br><br>
it makes me so mad. men just don't understand how painful they can be. grr.
 

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Nope. But we can make them feel our pain by making them go get us Midol at 1am.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>frog67</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
argh! periods!!<br><br><br><br>
it makes me so mad. men just don't understand how painful they can be. grr.</div>
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I think the crazy mood swings just might add enough misery on their end to even things out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I think it's unfair too. I never asked to be female with all the goop that comes with it. But I deal as best I can...take precautions, take a pill to cut down on my period frequency, etc.<br><br>
It's a PITA especially to someone who has no desire to procreate. Unless through some miracle, men can suddenly push a Chevy through their nostril, I won't be having any babies.
 

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It's not like there's anything we can do about it so why worry? There's enough unfairness in the world that can be fixed to focus on without fretting about unfairnesses that can't be fixed.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>hoodedclawjen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
i think its relative- he also doesn't get to experience what must be absolutely amazing things- carrying a baby, feeling it grow and kick inside you... giving birth to it and knowing that your body nurtured, protected, and gave birth to a real life person.... the huge emotional bond and gift that comes from nourishing it and developing its immune system through breast feeding, and all the other amazing stuff that goes with becoming a mum.<br><br><br><br>
no matter how involved he is, he's always going to be very much outside of things on that front, even if he's caring, supporting, and nuturing, and gives his partner and baby-to-be everything he can, she still gets to carry it, and he... he gets to pander to her whims, hold her hair while she pukes, rush out to buy icecream at 3 am, rub her feet, listen to her describe all the sensations and changes and feelings, watch her be fussed over, and feel the baby kick through her belly- but thats as close as he gets to experiencing pregnancy and giving birth.<br><br><br><br>
i'd not want to swap places with a guy to miss out on all that amazing stuff, puking or no puking, pain or no pain, stretchmarks or no stretchmarks, despite the risk of pre-eclamsia, episiostomies, droopy boobs, or anything else- even the potential for my own death as a result of pregnancy.<br><br><br><br>
and it must be very frightening to be a guy in many ways when it comes to pregnancy and birth- he's at risk of paying emotionally and financially for a desicion which his part in potentially ends at that point of orgasm- he gets that very pleasurable sensation (and if he's a good guy, he does his best to make sure you do too, lol!) but then, in many ways, his part could be considered played- while many women share the experience with their partner, we don't need to- we can, and many times do, deal with things without a guy from then on, if needs be.<br><br><br><br>
also, he doesn't realistically have any control over whether or not his potential offspring gets born- a woman could easily decide she's keeping their child, despite any plans they had together, precautions they took together, and decisions they made to the contrary earlier. she could disapear without telling him she's pregnant, and carry their baby to term and have it adopted, or get an abortion, without telling him, etc- she could also tell him she's pregnant and carrying his child, and then abort it with his knowledge- and right or wrong, he'd have little chance of stopping her.<br><br><br><br>
i think pain sucks. i think the risk of injury and death sucks. i think the idea of me experiencing pregnancy and giving birth are scary as hell. but i think that being a mother, while very hard work, brings stuff with it that totally makes all the other bits worthwhile. i feel very lucky that i might one day get to experience it, because i was born female.</div>
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Well said! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":up:">
 

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There are days when I feel that women got the raw end of the deal - but there are also days when I sure am glad I'm female. As hoodedclawjen said, there are some benefits, too. Some women LOVE to be pregnant, and others HATE it just about as much. I've never been pregnant, so I have no idea what I'll end up thinking. But I wouldn't dismiss being a woman too quickly.
 

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personally, i don't see pregnancy and birth this way.<br><br><br><br>
birth can be an orgasmic experience (many women do experience orgasms throughout labor and deliver, particularly during fetal ejection), and for many women it is also pain free. many women also do not have painful or uncomfortablle pregnancies (with the symptoms that you mention).<br><br><br><br>
for example, my mother had no symptoms of discomfort or illness during pregnancy (not even morning sickness). her labor with me was long and hard (largely because she was on her back most of the time), but otherwise she said it wasn't that painful for either of her pregnancies and births.<br><br><br><br>
i've spoken with a number of women who have orgasmic or painless births (and labors), and a number of others who have no symptoms during pregnancy except the growth of the baby and what comes with that--but no signs of illness.<br><br><br><br>
so, i think that it is possible to NOT have these symptoms and experiences, in which case the guy really gets a raw deal because we get ALL the good stuff.
 
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my mum was perfectly fine and doing heavy manual work like normal when she was pregnant with me, till her boss stopped her at what he thought was 8 months gone (turned out to be 9, and i was born a month late, ooops!) and she was only in labour for under 3 hours when she had me, and under 2 for my brother. she said it didn't feel anything like they portray it on tv, it wasn't the most comfortable experience, but she wasn't in screaming agony either.<br><br><br><br>
another friend of mine said it was an absolutely amazing, all be it surreal experience- that the whole world disapeared and she felt this totally primal urge to just zone in and protect and deliver the baby, like nothing else mattered.<br><br><br><br>
other friends who have had uber nightmare labours from hell (due to spinal blocks which didn't take, suction deliveries, emergency surgery, distressed babies, horrible hospital stuff, etc) still look down at their kid, and say 'i'd do it again, it was totally worth it'.<br><br><br><br>
i asked my bf last night how he felt about it, wondering if he felt the whole blood, gore, pain and baby making deal was fair or not. i worded it something like 'don't you feel envious that you don't get to actually carry, nurture and give birth to babies?'... he said he seriously respects all the stuff we go through just by being women, and he thinks men get off very lightly in lot of respects....<br><br><br><br>
.... his answer didn't really go with the question, but he was trying to sleep at the time, i had killer period pains, and he's an incredible sweetheart, so either he was trying to shut me up, thinking how much he'd dislike having his nipples chewed on by a small child, or feeling like someone was trying to eat him from the insides out once a month, looking to say the right things and avoid getting an earful from his pscho gf, or he might just have been being his overly lovely self (i think that the latter is most likely the case, cos he is very very lovely... hehehe).
 
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its a shame we can't get some guys input here- i'd be fascinated to know what some of the braver vb blokes feel like telling us about their thoughts on the whole periods, pregnancy, and giving birth deal.<br><br><br><br>
i wonder whether they feel envious that they don't get to experience it, or relieved that they don't have to.... if they're curious about how it must feel to experience being a woman and all that it entails.. or perhaps if they feel glad they got away with experiencing the trauma of putting up with our madness.<br><br><br><br>
perhaps they feel that they have their own manly burdens... maybe they suffer silently through stuff like putting up with pms and epic clothes shopping trips, sprouting stubble on their faces, having horrendously stinky feet, having to open stiff jar lids for us on demand, and the ever present risk of being kneed in the family jewels?<br><br><br><br>
i wonder, do they feel that its fair or unfair, or a plus or minus, that they don't experience the whole 'female deal' first hand.<br><br><br><br>
frog67: do you fancy opening it up for their opinions to be heard in another forum?
 

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If the op doesn't care, we could move the thread elsewhere (or start a new thread, I suppose). I'd be interested to hear what the manfolk have to say wrt the baby/pregnancy thing as well.
 

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I don't think unfair is really the right word. It sounds pretty childish, and like.. SHE GOT MORE LOLLIES THEN I DID.<br><br><br><br>
I wouldn't trade being a woman for anything! Period pain and all (And believe me I've had my fair share of crippling period pain).<br><br><br><br>
I know the OP is banned.. but anyway.. I think you, Frog, have a really negitive attitude..<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
I agree with Kiz. It can't be changed so it's wasted energy and time.<br><br>
If you hate your periods and would despise getting pregnant so much have a hysterectomy..
 

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The OP is banned? That was quick. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":(">
 
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