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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi

I have 2 gorgeous boys - aged 26 months and 6.5 months. For the past few months I haven't been feeling very well and I'm wondering if I have PND.

I've been anxious and quite on-edge, ultra-sensitive - especially if anyone questions my parenting! I have been trying to keep a brave face on but it's starting to crumble a bit at the moment and I'm a little scared. I love my boys and I don't feel that I want to harm them at all, nor harm myself, but I am starting to feel somehow detached from them - and I often find myself thinking that they don't like me. The reason I am so sensitive about people questioning my parenting is that I don't feel like a good parent. I had really hard births for both boys (3rd degree tear for the 1st, c-section for the 2nd), I couldn't breastfeed either of them for very long (different reasons for each boy), my oldest boy has developmental delays (not walking or talking yet) and when my little one cries at the moment I kind of panic like I don't know what to do anymore. I used to always be able to calm him down but I feel like I have lost the knack recently and have lost so much confidence. I sometimes feel confused and can't make decisions - even what to make for dinner stumps me sometimes! I seem to get to sleep OK but keep waking up about 3am and can't get back to sleep because I just lay there worrying. I also have very little appetite and don't like to be on my own too much.

I have been going through a really tough time with my mother and oldest sister - they no longer talk to me over a long standing family feud. I basically stood up for myself for once in my life and they just couldn't take it. I feel very lonely at times and even though I have a really supportive husband, I just don't think he gets it. I have also had a really bad tummy since I had my youngest - kind of like IBS. I've had all sorts of tests done but they kind find anything wrong - they've said it's anxiety and gave me Valium.

Can you get PND a while after you have a baby? I have made an appointment to go and see my doctor - he was actually hinting the last time I saw him that I didn't seem that happy. It's like he saw it before I did.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Thanks so much for listening...

vegmumma xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't really have any advice for you (I don't have children), but I just wanted to offer my support and let you know I hope everything works out for the best with you and your children.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank you so so so much for all your kind replies - it is so nice to feel I'm not alone.

I just wanted to let you know I went to see my doctor this morning - he is also a psychotherapist and I have been in therapy with him for a little while over the issues with my mum. He was not susprised at all when I told him how I was feeling with all this and in fact he told me he was going to give me the Edinburgh Scale test for PND (or PPD) the next time I saw him anyway! So he's precribed some medicine for me - given that I have a history of depression and self-harm and had post-traumatic stress after the traumatic birth of my first son he thinks medication is essential in my case. I really trust him because he will always suggest natural remedies or therapies when he can (ie, gave my husband Black Walnut Root for a stomach bug). I am also going to see him for weekly therapy sessions for the next couple of months so he can make sure I'm doing OK.

But I am also going to do everything I can to help myself - keep up my yoga, eat as well as I can, meditate, exercise, find time for myself, and hug my children and husband a lot!

Unfortunately, I don't have many friends where I live - we just moved from Scotland to Australia (but are going back in March) so I do feel quite isolated. But hopefully with my doc's help and sticking around VB I won't get too lonely. Plus, I finally confided in my husband and he was so sweet and said I had to tell him how I was feeling or how can he help? I don't know why I didn't tell him - I guess I just felt so ashamed like my only job is to be a stay-at-home-mum and I couldn't even do that!

You guys are just the best - I'm so glad I found VB, I really am.

Goddess bless you all xxx
 
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