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My father who is in poor health , and in his mid 60's is going over to Korea after Christmas to be with his wife who is stationed there for a few more years. Well my father is a smoker ,drinker daily meat eater who is overweight by at least 50 lbs . Im sure his arteries are very clogged his cholesterol is way too high!Well I havent touched any meat in 3 years and dont want to . Well since my father is leaving He wants to spend Christmas with my bf and I. BUT I am the one of course who has to do all the cooking
He wants ME to cook a turkey AND a ham!!!
He after all thinks Im just weird yet he is the one so unhealthy!!!Well its my kitchen my stove my house that will smell like dead flesh for nauseating days Im sure!
I dont know how to tell him No!I wont cook you Christmas dinner( it could be the last)
I would love to just go to a buffet but for all of us it could be pricey ! I Dont want dead animals in my home and he wants meat
any suggestions would be most appreciated

Thanks !

Happy Holidays everyone!
 

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If you can handle having it in the house, but not touching your stuff, you could purchase takeout and buy some cheap dishes from a thrift store - then donate the dishes back when you're done


If it's simply that you cannot bare to have the meat in your house full stop, then you make the final decission.
 

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It seems like you REALLY don't want meat in your home (and I don't blame you). So I would suggest cooking a kick-ass vegetarian meal, I mean, go all out, so that no one will feel deprived or like they're missing something. Have LOTS of really good side dishes. How open is your father to meat substitutes like a Tofurky? Tofu? How about something like a lentil loaf? Those can be really good and probably the least "scary" vegetarian main dish. But don't be afraid of fat, I'm not sure how "healthy" you normally do a holiday meal, but most people go with full fat gravy, butter-laden pie crusts and stuffing, etc, so you can have a vegetarian meal, but compromise, giving him lots of rich foods too. Promise your dad a really great meal, and live up to the promise. It's not hard to do an amazing, really fattening vegan holiday dinner that makes you not even realize there's no meat, I should know, I've done at least...8 now.
I and many others on here, I'm sure, would be more than happy to help you create a menu. Good luck, though...!
 

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I'm not overly bothered by the sight or smell of meat, but I am morally opposed to it, so I would never allow meat to be prepared in my home, last supper or no last supper.

Are you morally opposed to it? If so, I don't think you should go against your own morals.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

I'll be honest. If you are looking for a meal with meat in it, you will notice it isn't there. And no matter how good the meal is, someone will say "this is would have been perfect with a turkey."
Well, that may be so, but I really think there is a way to make meals that no one will feel actually deprived after eating. I have made vegan dinners for plenty of relatives who were afraid to eat anything vegan for fear it would make them turn green and fall over in their chairs, their bodies in shock, or something to that effect. As people started eating it, and telling everyone else it was good, more people started eating it, and enjoying it as well. I've never had anyone actually say to me that they did not enjoy the meal, or even look like they didn't (and you know you can tell on people's faces when they aren't liking something). So maybe it may seem unconventional to some, but it's doable, seriously. You just have to have a lot, a lot of food, and good stuff at that, and you can have a just dandy holiday meal. If you have a huge table, you may not be abe to make every single person happy. So boohoo. Some people are never happy. Some people like to whine about a meal even if it had a ham, a turkey, a chicken, a pig, and an alligator on the table, because someone made the mashed potatoes too thin, or the cranberry sauce too tart, or whatever. So there might be that one person, but if you have the right approach...like I said, it's completely doable.

One restaurant comes to mind. Millennium in San Francisco, the all-vegan gourmet restaurant which has the best food I have ever eaten. The first time I went there, I nearly passed out in delight, the second time we went there (in the same week, it's that good, if you were never there) dragged along some staunch meat-eaters. They enjoyed it thoroughly, much to their surprise. It's all about presentation, your approach to everything, and how good your food is.
 

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I would make a nice vegan meal and not even mention anything! If he notices and makes an issue of it- (he has issues! you went out of your way to prepare a healthy and delicious meal- shame on him, lol) simply tell him that you care about him too much to feed him foods that hurt him. And hurt others. Does he know you are vegan? Why would he even ask you to do this?
 

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Maybe if you didn't mind, he could bring some takeout ham and turkey and eat it in addition to your vegan meal. Would that pacify him a little?

I wouldn't allow it myself; I keep a vegetarian home. But none of my guests would be so ungracious! I can't believe it when people act this way. My dad is the biggest meat eater around, but even though I know he has reservations when he's going to eat something vegan I cooked, he's courteous and polite about it. And sometimes he finds himself surprised at how much he loves the food!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristadb View Post

I'll be honest. If you are looking for a meal with meat in it, you will notice it isn't there. And no matter how good the meal is, someone will say "this is would have been perfect with a turkey."
Not always.


One Christmas was to be at my house. One branch of the family refused to attend unless I offered them a meat dish. So I did. A fake meat dish. I lied and told them it was real (my mum and dad were in on the joke, too.) Of course, I couldn't eat this dish, being vegetarian and all.

They believed me! They thought it was real! And complimented the dishes, too. Lol, we laughed about that for months afterwards. Dumb omnis.*


*Not saying all omnis are dumb, but this lot sure are.
 

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Kiz said:
One branch of the family refused to attend unless I offered them a meat dish. QUOTE]

Wow. That is truly pathetic.
I cannot even FATHOM how this reasoning could be justified...


Maybe next time you can open up cans of dog food and put them out on the porch for thier "meat dish". Write on the dish with a sharpie, put it next to the dog bowl and put "meat dish" on it
 

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That's why the fake meat and the lying. I usually don't disrespect people because they eat meat, but, hey, if they disrespect me anything goes.

It became a family joke for years... apart from that branch of the family. Even the most strident meat-eaters thought they were being rude and the whole incident was hilarious.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiz View Post

That's why the fake meat and the lying. I usually don't disrespect people because they eat meat, but, hey, if they disrespect me anything goes.

It became a family joke for years... apart from that branch of the family. Even the most strident meat-eaters thought they were being rude and the whole incident was hilarious.
Yeah...I feel the same way. Once the line has been crossed, anything (within reason) goes (like saying veg*n food has meat). I think you did the right thing. It's tough to get away with "lying" to omnis though, when it comes to meat substitutes, at least vegan ones. The Lightlife Faux Sausage passes nicely when mixed in a dish...I have "fooled" omnis with it...I never said it was meat, but they assumed it was and I didn't say otherwise
 

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As to the original question, I would not serve meat. I would though, allow him or another family member to provide thier own.
 

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IslandGirl, It's pretty much up to you.


It's your house, but it's also your Dad. Only you know what he expects (What exactly did he say to you about requiring meat?) and only you know how important it is to you to have a veg*n home.

Personally? If Jesus himself asked me to cook or provide or allow meat in my home, I'd say "No. I cannot do that. Here are some options for you..." and tell him he could:

1)eat dead animals and products before coming over if he HAD to have it

2)eat at a restaurant instead of my home *or*

3)come enjoy a sumptuous feast prepared especially for him in my veg*n home


 

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Since he is almost literally asking you to kill for him, you shouldn't feel too badly about saying "no".

If he knows that this is quite possibly the last time he'll see you, it would be good for him to show you a little respect before he goes.
 

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Of course, that "logic" can be flipped and she can suck it up and show a little respect before he goes.

(not that I think she should "suck it up", just trying to show that the above can be used in the reverse).

The choice is actually quite simple. You will either have him bring meat or not. You will either go out or eat home. It's actually not that difficult.
 

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It is your home and your decision. I would have a serious talk with him about how this makes you feel and see if he would be open to bringing his own meat. This would be a reasonable compromise. Your house wouldn't smell of cooked meat all day, you wouldn't have to handle any meat--he would do all that, and he would get his meat. You could still have your vegan feast.

If it's really too much to deal with, then go out to eat somewhere with everybody pitching in for the cost of the meal so nobody bears too much of the cost.
 

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Personally speaking I would go with Krista's suggestion and buy precooked meat for him. I'd try to make him happy since he's older and in poor health. Make it a nice Christmas for him. You'll regret it later if this is the last Christmas you have with your dad and it was a negative one. (Though hopefully it's not his last).

But as others have said, it's your house and your decision and you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
 

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Every time any of us are with our loved ones, could be the last time. But that's even more reason to be open and honest with him about your values. That's a real relationship - not one held together by everyone playing nicey-nicey while denying their true, deeply held values. Any pouting your dad has to do about not getting his plate of suffering on the holy day is nothing compared to what the animals experience. He will survive that day without being served meat by you, and experience a very nice holiday with you, without the animal cruelty thrown in. He may even learn something and not make whatever years he has left ones filled with destruction towards those more helpless than himself.
 
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