VeggieBoards banner

1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,121 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am facing objections as to why I want to raise my children vegetarian (I am currently in transition with them- my son is not eating any meat, my daughter gets a slight amount of organic free range meat/ dairy products)<br>
People like my mother in law constantly try to give my kids gross things like pepperoni, chicken nuggets, and deli turkey. She sighs and makes comments all the time when I tell her not to give them any of that stuff. I can't have her watch them by herself if she is going to do that.<br><br>
Others seem to want to roll their eyes when it comes up in conversation. They think I'm depriving my children and borderline abusing them (I've heard that one before-lol)<br><br>
What is the right thing to say, and how do you stick to your guns when facing objections?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,946 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> Maybe try the approach of putting them in your situation, i.e., how would they like it if you were trying to change or control how they were raising their children? Tell them you would like to be respected. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,349 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>penny79</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2946748"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
tell them, "overruled!"</div>
</div>
<br>
+1<br><br>
I would love to hear more suggestions too. I have this problem, especially with family, all the time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
622 Posts
your kids, your rule. if she doesn't like it she can deal with it. if she keeps doing it, don't take them there until she gets the message.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,526 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mollycakes</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2946744"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I am facing objections as to why I want to raise my children vegetarian (I am currently in transition with them- my son is not eating any meat, my daughter gets a slight amount of organic free range meat/ dairy products)<br>
People like my mother in law constantly try to give my kids gross things like pepperoni, chicken nuggets, and deli turkey. She sighs and makes comments all the time when I tell her not to give them any of that stuff. I can't have her watch them by herself if she is going to do that.<br><br>
Others seem to want to roll their eyes when it comes up in conversation. They think I'm depriving my children and borderline abusing them (I've heard that one before-lol)<br><br>
What is the right thing to say, and how do you stick to your guns when facing objections?</div>
</div>
<br>
She is probably worried that the children are going to suffer from some form of malnutrition. People really do believe that meat and dairy (in any shape or form) is absolutely necessary for the human body.<br><br>
So, the onus is on you to do your research. And make sure she knows that you know. If she is trying to feed your children processed meat products, here is a good place to start:<br><a href="http://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/archive/processed_meat_cancer_link_confirmed_drbarnardsblog_110524.html" target="_blank">http://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/archiv...og_110524.html</a><br><br>
Print it out. Give her a copy. And always remember that people have been bought up to believe that processed food containing meat is good for you - or at the very least, the good (protein) outweighs the bad (fat). They have been told, time and again, that it's okay to eat some junk food ('everything in moderation' is a line that junk food marketers like to use to show us how 'reasonable' they are). That's the result of good, consistent marketing from the meat promotion boards at work, throwing millions of dollars at promoting their products, year after year after year. The nation has been indoctrinated - they are just unaware of it. The truth is that they are the ones abusing their children - not us (don't tell them that though, they won't thank you for it!).<br><br>
Here's another good link. Give her a copy of this, too.<br><br><a href="http://www.eatright.org/About/Content.aspx?id=8357" target="_blank">http://www.eatright.org/About/Content.aspx?id=8357</a><br><br>
There are many more on the internet.<br><br>
Tell her that you love your children and only want the best for them. Just because our culture says we need meat doesn't mean that we do, or that it is good for us. Ask her to consider the rising levels of illness and obesity in the Western world. If our societies diet is so perfect, ask her to explain that.<br><br>
Tell her you understand where she is coming from, because you used to think like that too. Be patient with her and everyone else. They have had years and years of indoctrination. It takes time to change. Listen to them. Listen to their concerns. And learn enough about healthy nutrition to counteract their arguments <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,861 Posts
This one is gross but it worked ...<br><br>
After bollocking my mother for nearly having fed my kiddies meat on several occasions she decided to take the "FFS! It wont kill them" line.<br><br>
My response: "letting the local kiddie-fiddlers stick some meat into them won't kill them either but that ain't happening too!"<br><br>
I think the reason it worked was simply that it got the strength of my feeling across, mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,026 Posts
Here's what I would do:<br>
ask nicely<br>
pack a veg lunch/snack for every visit<br>
educate her about veg nutrition<br>
accept that she won't alway listen or do what you want<br>
remember that if you do a good job explaining why you're veg to your children then eventually they will do the job themselves and say, "grandma, I don't eat animals! Feed me something else please!"<br>
At that time, grandma may still resist and start telling your kid lies about nutrition, but if youre patient and keep arming your kid with the proper veg tools then grandma will finally get it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
814 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>angie54321</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2947463"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
She is probably worried that the children are going to suffer from some form of malnutrition. People really do believe that meat and dairy (in any shape or form) is absolutely necessary for the human body.<br><br>
So, the onus is on you to do your research. And make sure she knows that you know. If she is trying to feed your children processed meat products, here is a good place to start:<br><a href="http://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/archive/processed_meat_cancer_link_confirmed_drbarnardsblog_110524.html" target="_blank">http://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/archiv...og_110524.html</a><br><br>
Print it out. Give her a copy. And always remember that people have been bought up to believe that processed food containing meat is good for you - or at the very least, the good (protein) outweighs the bad (fat). They have been told, time and again, that it's okay to eat some junk food ('everything in moderation' is a line that junk food marketers like to use to show us how 'reasonable' they are). That's the result of good, consistent marketing from the meat promotion boards at work, throwing millions of dollars at promoting their products, year after year after year. The nation has been indoctrinated - they are just unaware of it. The truth is that they are the ones abusing their children - not us (don't tell them that though, they won't thank you for it!).<br><br>
Here's another good link. Give her a copy of this, too.<br><br><a href="http://www.eatright.org/About/Content.aspx?id=8357" target="_blank">http://www.eatright.org/About/Content.aspx?id=8357</a><br><br>
There are many more on the internet.<br><br>
Tell her that you love your children and only want the best for them. Just because our culture says we need meat doesn't mean that we do, or that it is good for us. Ask her to consider the rising levels of illness and obesity in the Western world. If our societies diet is so perfect, ask her to explain that.<br><br>
Tell her you understand where she is coming from, because you used to think like that too. Be patient with her and everyone else. They have had years and years of indoctrination. It takes time to change. Listen to them. Listen to their concerns. And learn enough about healthy nutrition to counteract their arguments <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"></div>
</div>
<br>
Great post Angie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br>
My husband of 22 years recently decided to become veg*n and I am facing the same reaction from my MIL *he is a 42 year old 250lb grown adult FFS!*. I might give her the information too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,272 Posts
I don't think my parents are not going to be this bad because they feed the grands whatever the parents brings over. If we tell them a proper dietary instructions my parents follows it. My Onmi mother thinks meat is not good for you to eat each day and that is what is causing health problems and weight problems. There are diabetes in her side of family and in my family so we are all careful for what we eat.<br>
I would tell you mother like the other said about its my child , i make the rules, this is what they eat give them this type of food.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
501 Posts
You guys are so nice with giving meddling people information. That is really admirable. I would tell whoever that they raised their kids the way they want, and I raise mine as I want. I would tell them that if they can't respect my rules, then they will not get visits from my child without me there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,526 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>smiling</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2948034"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You guys are so nice with giving meddling people information. That is really admirable. I would tell whoever that they raised their kids the way they want, and I raise mine as I want. I would tell them that if they can't respect my rules, then they will not get visits from my child without me there.</div>
</div>
<br>
Personally, I find it better that way. If you just tell them to butt out because they're your children and it's none of their business, they don't learn that a well-planned vegetarian diet is better for everyone than their diet is. If you educate them, they are more likely to respect your decision. (And who knows, they may even try a few veggie meals themselves!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
344 Posts
It's a good idea to try the nice way, at first, giving them info on veg diets. But if they decide that they don't care about all your info and are just gonna keep giving your children things you don't allow, it's time to take the gloves off and tell them how it is. They're your children, not theirs and they need to get that through their heads.<br><br>
After you've tried the nice route, if they keep it up, pack your kids up and leave every time they do it. Once they realize that you are not a wimp, they'll back off. If they don't, tell them you'll continue your relationship when they start respecting your decisions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
I usually mention that the pediatrician has ok'd it and says they're healthy. Which is true. The other day someone was surprised when I told them that not only was I a vegan, but I was raising my kids vegan. Not to brag, but when they asked what they eat, all I could do was list what I had fed them so far that day (something like a smoothie with soymilk, hemp, chia and fruit, and I happened to cook something yummy that day for lunch) and they were like "I wish I could get my kids to eat as healthy as yours." lol. Again, it's not to brag, but giving them a list of what we ate that day instantly made a vegan diet sound healthy and tasty. Thankfully they caught me on a good day!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,121 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Ooh - update!<br>
Since I wrote this post- I have gone totally vegetarian with my kids, and my daughter Layla does not eat any animal products. My son is still transitioning off of milk, but thats about it. My MIL stopped with the meat, but still brings over cheese things, and junk food loaded with trans fat.. :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
Oh I got the same reaction from my in-laws and my dad. My mum is more understanding and accepting though - she kinda has to be seeing as me, and now my husband, my brother and his wife are all vegan. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> My MIL though was devastated that my son would never have a sausage - of all things. I have a suspicion that she'll be one of thise sneaky grandmothers that gives the grandkids junk food even when specifically told not to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
we are facing these problems atm too and because we are only new to being vegetarian my step mum will offer them meat when they go over there without me. they feel sorry for the kids not eating meat so they give them a hot dog or a pie or sausage roll. to start with i would say it was ok because i didnt think she knew what to feed them but now i know she does know how to feed them im going to have to put my foot down and say dont give them meat. shes really not going to like it tho as she thinks by not eating meat you are missing out on alot.<br><br>
im due to have our 3rd child soon and my step mum and dad are the people we are going to call to come and look after the children when i go into labour.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,793 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mollycakes</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3021742"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Ooh - update!<br>
Since I wrote this post- I have gone totally vegetarian with my kids, and my daughter Layla does not eat any animal products. My son is still transitioning off of milk, but thats about it. My MIL stopped with the meat, but still brings over cheese things, and junk food loaded with trans fat.. :/</div>
</div>
<br>
I suspect that since cheese isn't meat, it's all right. You might want to point towards Daiya cheese.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ponkermagoo</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3024299"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Oh I got the same reaction from my in-laws and my dad. My mum is more understanding and accepting though - she kinda has to be seeing as me, and now my husband, my brother and his wife are all vegan. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> My MIL though was devastated that my son would never have a sausage - of all things. I have a suspicion that she'll be one of thise sneaky grandmothers that gives the grandkids junk food even when specifically told not to.</div>
</div>
<br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>magicdolphin</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3036483"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
we are facing these problems atm too and because we are only new to being vegetarian my step mum will offer them meat when they go over there without me. they feel sorry for the kids not eating meat so they give them a hot dog or a pie or sausage roll. to start with i would say it was ok because i didnt think she knew what to feed them but now i know she does know how to feed them im going to have to put my foot down and say dont give them meat. shes really not going to like it tho as she thinks by not eating meat you are missing out on alot.<br><br>
im due to have our 3rd child soon and my step mum and dad are the people we are going to call to come and look after the children when i go into labour.</div>
</div>
<br>
MD, isn't there a neighbor or co worker who knows you and respects your diet a lot more then your step mother and father?<br><br>
To all three of you...my question is, is how often to your parents see your grandkids? If it's daily or weekly, you may want to put down some ground rules about your dietary habits...and you can make other plans if your dietary habits aren't respected. If it's once a month or once a year (i.e. Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, school holidays, etc.) You may want to let the "junk food" (but not the meat) go. Go with them to the grocery store and show them the brands you and your kids like when it's "junk food" time. Good luck to all.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
Top