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First, I want to say hello to everyone. Secondly I would like some advice on a relationship gone bad. I was in this relationship that went very bad over a year ago. We were to get married and we were both very much in love. He was very jealous and it got worse and worse until it was unbearable for either of us so he left. I was devistated! Within a few days he wanted to get back together after he had said some pretty terrible things to me, that I find hard to forget, even to this day. He since then has been stalking me, my friends and family, even my co-workers. He will not go away. I have changed all my numbers, email and even sold my home and moved to another city. He still found me. I am so heart broke still, I isolate myself from everyone and am so depressed. I have had relationships go bad in the past and have always been able to move on. I can't seem to this time. Please some compassionate advise from someone who knows nothing about me would be helpful, I hope.
 

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er...I'm stunned for a moment.....

Welcome to Veggieboards


Have you tried a restraining order?

Don't isolate yourself.

(gotta think this over)

I'll ask a moderator to move your post.
 

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You made the right decision leaving him. A though decision you can be proud of.

I don't now what to do about the stalking.......do you call the police when he is around ?

The hardest part must be the isolation. It takes time to meet new people in a new city, but you have to make friends to cope with this situation.

Become member of something, a card club, sports club, whatever.

You say you where always able to move on after a relationship.

You still are, but the ex keeps blocking you.

Something has to be done about the stalking, and I am almost sure some one nows a good answer.
 

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Hello Cre8_2day!!!!!!!!!

Welcome..... You are clearly having trouble and don't know what

else is available just yet of what else there is for you to do, to remedy the situation, and I imagine after having sold your house and made the big move to another city you are probably feeling very exhausted, especially since your ex-partner has found out where you are.... I hope he doesn't know the exact location of your residence that would be truly awful....


.............And let me say about the moderators having moved your post to this relationship forum from Introduce Yourself **where you originally posted**... I hope you will take a moment

to introduce yourself again but in a way that can let us see what else there is to know about you.....

Please don't think we are making fault, with your post, it was merely that your post havng been moved into this relationship forum might now do better when it comes to detailing a specific requirement pertaining to a problem and so making solving it easier and more apparent for all whom see your post and whom want to help....So to get you some more attention (of the sort you want).....by all means post wherever you can and incidently if it were me as the moderator (which I am not) I would have let your post stay where it was a while longer......>>UNLESS better still of course you intend writing another version of introducing yourself to replace where this one was moved which I hope you do....

I hope you do because then you can get the best of both forums

and hopefully get all the attention and friendship you need in order to deal with the stalking and wot not......

I get isolated too, so I know its hell, so I can say to you what I say to myself.... don't leave yourself isolated.......
 

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Hi and welcome- defenitly take out a restraining order, if he shows up anywhere near you, call the police. It also helps to have a big loveable dog who likes to bark and responds well to, "sick balls". It is very important to make some friends, as they can help you find alternate sources of happiness. Maybe try and find a proffesional to talk to, I don't know where you're located, but look in your phone book, groups like Women in Transition offer good free help and an ear to listen. Don't delay though, take out that restraining order, that way he is served, and you can prosecute if he fails to obey the terms of restraint.
 

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I went through something like this when I broke up with a boyfriend although not as severe. Unfortuanately the legal system (depending on where you live) may not be too helpful. When I went to apply for a restraining order, I felt like I was on trial. Get some support and do it anyways. I would also keep a record of all events (ie: when he contacts you or anyone you know) Check with your phone company about possibly recording phone conversations with him.

There are commmunity resources to help women when they leave relationships. My friend is the coordinator for one in Ottawa. Check where you live. She does safety planning with these women. Some hints are to let people around you know the situation (landlord, neighbours, boss etc) That way if he shows up, they can call the cops. Be active. Don't be a victim. Be firm with him and make sure he knows his behaviour is inappropriate. Don't give any indication you want to get back together with him (ie sleep with him in a moment of weekness)

My heart goes out to you. Get on with your life. Do things you love. Don't be a victim to this guy.
 
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