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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i will go through weeks where i won't eat at all, then i go through weeks where all i do is binge and i feel terrible all the time. i don't know what to do, when i'm on a binge i am even eating dairy product some of the time<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"> (when i used to be vegan <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/no.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":no:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"> )that makes me feel terrible, like i don't care about animals anymore or something like i am a traitor. i feel like i can't control myself and i try so hard too. i exercise like a maniac, and food/not eating food is always always always on my mind. i don't even know where to begin, as to getting things back to healthy.. any advice at all would be appreciated.
 

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it sounds like you feel really out of control. i binge sometimes, we all do, so i can relate to feeling out of control. food ties into emotion for all of us, whether eating disordered or not. my advice is simple. when you feel like binging (especially eating dairy) go on a walk. you will be forced to think about your want to eat, and you will realize how bad you will feel afterwards. also, maybe your trying TOO hard to "control" yourself. if you try too hard, you are sure to psych yourself out and lose all control. get new hobbies that don't deal with food. read a book. laugh with friends. do whatever you need to take your focus off of food. one last thing-don't ever overexercise. it sounds like you may be. maybe you should take up less intense things such as pilates. that will also remove any stress.<br><br><br><br>
sorry for rambling! i hope it helped a little.
 

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Please try to get professional help. Perhaps it's easier if you look for group support around where you live (IRL).<br><br>
Like peachie said, sometimes control is the key issue. Don't try to control too much. But peachie, I don't binge!
 

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No, I'm sorry that I didn't revisit this thread earlier.<br><br>
strwbryfields42: How are you doing? Perhaps one advice: sometimes it isn't important where you start but that you get started. Good luck!
 

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You've reached out for help, and that is fantastic. Reaching out is the first step - it means you are fighting back. I know this because I have recovered (well, nearly there anyway) from an eating disorder. Asking for help was the first and most important step to take.<br><br><br><br>
But you know that an eating disorder isn't really about food at all. Food isn't the problem, it's the voice in our heads that taunts us and bullys us 24 hours a day and wont allow us to eat, ask for help, or be anything other than completly perfect. To fight the disorder, you have to get to the real problem; the mental torture that the person with an eating disorder is suffering.<br><br><br><br>
A good book to read is "The Secret Language of Eating Disorders" It really helped me at the beginning of my journey back to health.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>strwbryfields42</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
i don't know what to do, when i'm on a binge i am even eating dairy product some of the time<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"> (when i used to be vegan <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/no.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":no:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veganpolice.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":notvegan:"> )that makes me feel terrible, like i don't care about animals anymore or something like i am a traitor.</div>
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I completely understand your guilt, but I think its really important to remember how consuming and difficult to control a binge can be. Your body and mind are literally taking over and <i>making</i> you eat because you haven't been eating. So try your best, but don't beat yourself up so much about it. Eating disorders come with enough guilt and terrible feelings as it is.<br><br><br><br>
That said, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for support. I have been in similar situations, so I completely understand how you feel.<br><br><br><br>
One thing that I've learned about bingeing, is you need to think about what physically causes it (as well as emotionally, of course). If you restrict your intake/don't eat for a long time, that is going to cause you to inevitably binge. I know its hard, but try to eat a little bit throughout the day, so your intake is a little more regular. And try to figure out if there are any emotions, foods, times during the day, etc, that are likely to trigger a binge.<br><br><br><br>
I hope I'm making sense. Feel free to PM me or ask me questions. Let me know how you're doing. I really do understand your frustration and pain. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br><br><br>
Dawn <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sunny.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sunny:">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone for responding, there was a lot of good advice. I am doing about the same. Lothar, I know you suggested getting professional help, but I really don't want to at this time. I don't want to have to involve my parents and I would rather try and get through this on my own (for the most part). I'm trying to be easier on myself and trying to not beat myself up over every single thing but it is hard. I think I have found a few physical and emotional triggers to the binges, I just need to know how to control myself when I do encounter them again. Thanks again everyone for your advice I really appreciate it and it will help me.
 

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I know how you feel about not wanting professional help, and not wanting to involve your parents. I've been in the same boat.<br><br><br><br>
I'm glad that you're trying to work on things and that you've found out what some of your triggers are.. that is a big step and will really help you.<br><br><br><br>
I'm always here for ya. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sunny.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sunny:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>strwbryfields42</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thanks everyone for responding, there was a lot of good advice. I am doing about the same. Lothar, I know you suggested getting professional help, but I really don't want to at this time. I don't want to have to involve my parents and I would rather try and get through this on my own (for the most part). I'm trying to be easier on myself and trying to not beat myself up over every single thing but it is hard. I think I have found a few physical and emotional triggers to the binges, I just need to know how to control myself when I do encounter them again. Thanks again everyone for your advice I really appreciate it and it will help me.</div>
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Sounds reasonable. You've put the option of professional help into your considerations and have reasons against it. So, it isn't a categorial no, but a no for the time being. With me it's perfectly OK. Maybe, if everything works out for you as you planned you don't need professional help. Hopefully we can help you. Do you have a goal and did you set "parameters", which tell you, you're moving in the right direction?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I used to exhibit very similar patterns of eating to you too.<br><br><br><br>
It sounds as though your eating pattern is rather chaotic. Gradually try to re-introduce foods that you enjoy back into your diet. Also, try eating at regular times.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It's been about a week since the last binge, and of more normal eating! And with that, I haven't eating anything dairy! Thanks everyone for all of your support and advice. I'm trying to keep the idea of what is best and most healthy for my body and that eating normal meals and eating vegan is what is best for me, IMO. This week has been much, much better =) Thanks everyone
 

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I have had to learn to find out what my triggers are when it comes to binges too. And I can say that for the most part I have been successful. Mine include loneliness, boredom and hunger.<br><br><br><br>
I have found that through immense hard work and willpower, I can overcome my urge to binge. It is tremendously hard, but I am working my way towards being ED free.<br><br><br><br>
I would advise that a good start is to cut down on the amount of exercise you are doing gradually. Start by cutting off five minutes, then ten and so on. In terms of your diet, as difficult as it may be that you start trying to eat regular meals. They don't have to be big, just try to make them as satisfying as possible.<br><br><br><br>
We are all here to help you. Good luck.
 
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