VeggieBoards banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im very new to being vegetarian: I started on the 1st March. I changed for the health reasons and for religious/ethnical reasons also. I watch the Meet Your Meat video (all the way through: no idea how I managed to do that) and as such there is no way I will ever touch meat or any slaughter by-products in my life again. My mother however only changed because she says that she doesnt really like meat. But tonight she just told me that she and my Gran (whos been having meat at lunchtimes as mum brought her some from the supermarket) will be eating a meat pie and shes going back to eating meat. Ive been told that Im not allowed to cook my own meals it cost to much and I cant buy m own as Im not allowed a job until I leave school. Ive tried the get paid for doing chores thing and been told that I should do them because I want to not because I want to get paid.

I dont want to try and stop her and Gran from eating meat (although I would like them too) but I dont want to eat it myself. Ive asked her to watch the Meet Your Meat video but she refused. Ive been told that if I dont eat meat then Im going to be ill and Ive shown her all the things about meat how bad that is for you etc and all the stuff about how you can find all the nutrients in other foods but her response was But you dont eat nuts so you cant be vegetarian otherwise youll be ill.
I cant eat nuts Mum because if I do I will end up in hospital and if I eat enough of them I wont even make it to the hospital. Her: I know that so youll have to eat meat and anyway Im not cooking separate meals for you and you arent cooking them yourself either.

I also have the slight problem that all but one of the vegetarian meals they do in school contain nuts and the one that doesnt is vegetarian sausages in gravy, which, when I asked, I found to be the left over gravy from one of their meat dish. Not eating that! So Ive mainly been eating fruit at lunch and the occasional plate of pasta when they do one without bacon in it. Which means my main meal is at home which is now set to being meat every single night.

Any ideas on what I could do as there is no way I could eat anything with meat in now: I will end up being sick.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,521 Posts
It sounds like you are having a really tought time - I'm sorry. What I can suggest to you at the moment is getting your Mum to perhaps incorporate some meat replacements that you can have with the meals she is already cooking - I know that it will cost a bit extra, but it would mean that she wouldn't have to cook an entirely seperate meal for you. It isn't the best, but for now it'll do.

You should talk to her about why she seems so uncomfortable with the idea all of a sudden - what are her reasons for making it awkward for you? Talk to her in a calm and grown up manner, and (without preaching -this is vital, don't try and convert her, that'll just make it worse) explain to her why this is so important to you.

I hope that helps a little - if you want to chat or rant then we are always around to offer - well, support if not advice.

Best of luck,

pirate x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,521 Posts
Oh, and nuts are not the only souce of protein - legumes, beans, lentils, wholewheat breads and pastas, spelt, mushrooms (don't know why!) are all great. And if you do get your mum converted to letting you cook, or cooking for you, tvp, tofu and seitan are also good things to try out. Not ignoring veggieburgers etc etc
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Well first of all, congratulations!!!
Your situation does seem very difficult, especially because you're not allowed to get a job. Try to explain to your mom that vegetarianism isn't always expensive (it mostly depends o your taste). I'm suprised that she won't let you cook your own meals because meat is usually way more expensive than for example, pasta, vegetable stir fry, rice dishes, ect. ect. As for school, I have the same problem as you do. If you eat dairy and eggs, it should but a bit easier to find foods. If not, then you should probably bring a lunch like peanut butter and jelly? or any other sandwich without meat and some fruit. Sorry that's all the advice I have to give, hopefully your mother will be more accepting of your vegetarianism over time (I know my mom was really against me going vegan, but now she's fine with it). Good luck!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,482 Posts
Is there any way you could bring another relative to talk through the situation with your mother .

Some how you could mention to your Mother that you have to learn to cook sometime .

At the school explain the situation to the head chef over the gravy , don't just except the situation . They might not realize it .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19,134 Posts
Agreed that you learning to cook would be a *good* thing, and may be an argument to use with your mom.

As far as it being expensive, I'd say that it can be just the opposite. If you're buying frozen/ready-made meals, then yeah, it's gonna be pricey. You don't need to do that though. Chickpeas, beans, lentils, etc. are good sources of protein. Throw in some rice and veggies (which she's probably buying anyway), whole wheat bread, fruit, etc.

Maybe you could get her to agree to a trial for a month. Keep track of what you spend and compare it to what the "meaty" expenditures would've been.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,282 Posts
You may be able to point out to her that she will be buying LESS meat since you won't be eating it, and she should be able to buy quite a large quantity of legumes for you instead. One of the best meal compromises is that meat is fine, but everything else is vegetarian (all the side dishes). You can easily stir beans in with the side dishes for extra protein.

You may want to point out to the cafeteria staff at school that you have a nut allergy, and the other vegetarian dish offered is not actually vegetarian (unless, of course, the brown gravy is meat free.. which isn't completely out of the realm of possibilities). Here in the US, a lot of schools don't even allow nuts in the building since some students are so allergic. :-o
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
61 Posts
I agree with all the above posts. Schools will often aid those with allergies and can possibly provide you with a better lunch. Ask the lunch staff (when the rush has died down) if there is a way that they could set out a lunch for you that is free of both nuts and meat. All they really have to do is refrain from putting it in when they make it in the morning and I'm sure they will comply once they hear your situation and how the lunch people is probably the only true meal you will get because of home situations.

As for your mom, I went through almost the same thing. My mom is very overweight and loves food, and hates that we went vegetarian because that means we will not cook her meaty meals for her anymore. My sister and I have been faced with retaliation and although I do have a job, much of it goes to school payments. What I did was said above, asked her to buy less meat for herself and with that extra money go to the vegetable aisle and fill up on legumes, fruits, and veggies. She has complied and even then she is still spending less now then when we all ate meat. Just give your mom time to see that you are serious about your diet and soon she will see she would rather have a veggie child then a starving one (hopefully!).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
OK I suppose I should update!

Thank you for all of your replies!

I'm not in school any more so that's not an issue any more. I got by with stuff from the snack bar which I investigated. I'm going to sixth form college in September so I'll be around Shrewsbury for lunch and there's a veg*n cafe in the town

As for my mother she's become more respectful and so have I. She actual listened to me when I explained properly to her why I've gone vegetarian. She respected my views on my ethnic reasoning (especially seeing as we'd just watched a program on Channel 4 which actually showed people shooting the male calves
I didn't engineer that or anything *cough* ) but she listen more to the health reasoning behind it and looked at the websites I pointed out to her. She's actually pretty much cut out red meat (she'll eat it at restaurants but not at home) but she still eats poultry and fish.

However. she has allowed me to start cooking meals with tofu in for her and Gran. I have offered to cook meals for them with meat in (although the smell of meat cooking makes me want to throw up although I haven't said that to her) and doing the same thing but with tofu, quorn, beans etc for me and that I'll clear up (usually in our house the cook doesn't have to clear up ) but she's still not allowing me to do that but won't tell me why.

Anyhoo, we now have a sort of agreement that I will eat anything as long as it doesn't have (or had- not picking it out) meat in it. So at tea I usually end up with the vegetables and other things which is fine by me. Getting enough protein isn't that much of an issue either because as I've now left school (nearly a month ago) I've been having lunch at home and it's a do whatever you want kind of lunch system in our house and I've managed to get a number of fake cold meats things and I make bean salads and things so it's not really a problem.


Oh and as of Saturday I can start looking for a job as my exams will have finished (well except for RE on the next Wednesday which isn't important)! I'm also going to be getting £20 of the government each week when I start at college!


I do have one slight issue left. We're going camping again this holiday and my mother has said that I *have* to eat meat because she's going to be buying meat from the butcher's and also taking tinned casseroles and stuff like that which is our usual camping fare and each tin serves two people and we can't store it. There are veggie tinned meals but most of the ones in the supermarkets contain nuts.

However, seeing as we're saving money this year by going camping like usual instead of staying in a holiday cottage like we originally planned I may be able to persuade her that instead of living on processed tinned meals we live of the fresh food available from the health food store (I love that place!) which is practically veg*n!


She's trying to loss weight so I may play that card.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,482 Posts
Well ! you really worked through the issues with your Mum and turned it around .......there is obversely a lot of respect that you both have for each other .

And your mother coming on board with the , not eating red meat , thats cool

Maybe you could turn your holiday into a health retreat , as your mum wants to lose weight .

thanks for the update
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
267 Posts
Assuming you have access to basic camp cooking / water boiling equipment, vegetarian food options are:

Rice in a packet (the ones pre-mixed with vegetables, flavourings etc.)--many of those are vegetarian;

Smash with baked beans (tinned), or with beanfeast (packet);

Noodles from a packet (the ones with the little flavour sachets), or for a more meal-like option discard the flavouring and top with a cup-a-soup (tomato or vegetable goes well, minestrone or carrot not so much);

Pasta in sauce packets--again many veggie flavours. Cheese and brocolli is yummy.

If you have access to a frying pan, worlds best camping food: sosmix sausages, available in packets from your local holland & barrett

These are very lightweight to carry with you as they are in packets rather than tins, which is a huge advantage over tinned caseroles.

If you cant persuade your mum to provide somethign you will eat every night, then you can take oatcakes/bran biscuits/ryvita etc to snack on along with a tube of primula (assuming youre not vegan) which we have camped with for a week without refrigerating and it was fine, and / or a yeast pate tube from the healthfood store. They should at least provide some calories to keep you going.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenarmadillo View Post

Assuming you have access to basic camp cooking / water boiling equipment, vegetarian food options are:

Rice in a packet (the ones pre-mixed with vegetables, flavourings etc.)--many of those are vegetarian;

Smash with baked beans (tinned), or with beanfeast (packet);

Noodles from a packet (the ones with the little flavour sachets), or for a more meal-like option discard the flavouring and top with a cup-a-soup (tomato or vegetable goes well, minestrone or carrot not so much);

Pasta in sauce packets--again many veggie flavours. Cheese and brocolli is yummy.

If you have access to a frying pan, worlds best camping food: sosmix sausages, available in packets from your local holland & barrett

These are very lightweight to carry with you as they are in packets rather than tins, which is a huge advantage over tinned caseroles.

If you cant persuade your mum to provide somethign you will eat every night, then you can take oatcakes/bran biscuits/ryvita etc to snack on along with a tube of primula (assuming youre not vegan) which we have camped with for a week without refrigerating and it was fine, and / or a yeast pate tube from the healthfood store. They should at least provide some calories to keep you going.
Thank you! I will investigate into H&B around the time we're going.

Another update: She's agreed to the health food store idea!
As it's my birthday today we went out for lunch so we went to the vegetarian cafe/restaurant in town and I brought it up and she agreed! She did have a little thing over not buying meat from the butcher's there but I mentioned the small fact that the camp-site we're going to be on is 2 miles away from the village and so we go shopping for the food in the morning (then go coast path walking for the rest of the day) so where on earth are we going to put the meat for the evening meal? The coolbag? It gets hot inside our tents, very hot and the coolbag just abouts keeps milk at a coolish temperature when the weather's hot but we discovered last year that it doesn't keep meat cool enough.


Plus mum actually likes vegetarian food but she's a nurse and is incredibly paranoid about protein which is the reason why she still eats poultry and fish (I have tried explaining to her about other sources but she won't listen) so living without meat for a week isn't such a big deal. Also she and Gran have only been having meat once a week instead of everyday since I went veggie so again it won't be that much of a big deal!


Also, as part of my birthday present today she brought me a vegetarian cookbook with 1000 recipes
She wants me to cook things out of it for her!!
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top