[Karuma]

Hello everyone, I just found out about this forum today. My apologies for any grammatical mistake, as I'm not English.

I'm a young adult, living with my parents, got a bunch of stuff on my plates. I am ARFID, got food sensory issues, I'm disabled and possibly autistic, have mental illness that send me into manic episodes where I would need to be locked up, am overly sensitive to everything ( Higly sensitive person ) & if this wasn't enough I'm poor as hell and I live in a food desert, with no access to supermarket at this time. I do not have any friends nor any support besides my relationship with God.

I tried to go vegan 8 times already, but first was for the ''wrong'' reasons. The first time was because my mental illness was acting up, and I was obsessed with a vegan actor called Evanna Lynch ( I am obsessed with Harry Potter ), I threw all my non-vegan food away, threw my family leather jackets, I was hysterical and wanted to be vegan. Watched a couple documentary without having the awareness. That didn't end well, as you can imagine, going cold turkey was not the solution for me. My mental health was fluctuating. It was a manic episode, sadly. I didn't see animals as sentient beings at the time. I was too numb by all the stuff going on.

In my class I was taking, there was a vegetarian person. They were horrible to me when they knew I was vegan. I was expecting somebody welcoming but not at all. They told me they are vegetarian but eat meat every 2 days and cannot stand vegans because they are " extreme for nothing ". Wtf? I really saw that this sh*t was bad for my mental health. They bullied me, ate animals in front of me, and every day told me horrible bullshit. I couldn't take it I wasn't strong enough. The online support, if I can call it like that, was horrible. People ( vegans ) telling me awful stuff that still resonates in my head at night, I couldn't possibly be talking to these people who are nice to animals but cruel to humans ? I really was baffled and shocked to the point of being disgusted by the vegan community, I almost became Anti-Vegan, I couldn't take that pressure. I am a very non-dual person, I believe NOTHING should be either black or white, life is a spectrum and I hated the vegan movement for this but also the Anti-movement for this because they didn't portray the kindness I needed in this cruel world. I only wanted to feel comforted that I did my best with WHAT I could do at the time, nobody seemed to understand me. I am frustrated when people tells '' Well dont put everyone in the same basket '' my experience has been nothing but a nightmare and I wish I could be encouraged by the kind vegans and those who are not dogmatic, but unfortunately the side of me is fixating on the bad and I cant help it.

I tried to seek support for meals ideas online ( Facebook groups and ''plant based / vegan subreddits ) because I was basically eating like sh*, I was nourishing myself with snacks because that's all that I could find in a food desert ( We have no fresh vegetables and fruits, no vegans substitutes but tofu which I hate, HUGE prices for canned food ( 5$ a single can of chickpea or beans etc ) my health was declining but we had no choices, I was starting to loose hope.
These people made me even more feel like crap. They told me horrible things, to k*ll myself, to stop chasing excuses and move in a big city ( with what money lmao ) , that it was my fault if I didn't have clean water and access to basic food. I was shocked at the violence I received. I wanted to end it all. This also happened in so called '' support '' groups. As a very sensitive person, I know the world is already a difficult place because I cannot stand somebody who's rude with me, I will lash out and hurt myself. I just want to have some support online and it seems very impossible or very difficult to seek it.. I don't know if this place is '' safe '' enough, so I am lauching this bottle to the sea !

Thank you so much for listened to me, please remember that I enter manic phases and that is not my fault I cannot control myself and I have NO support whatsoever, the Internet is literally my only source of support. Have a nice day

 

[lekawa]

Karuma,

Just a few quick thoughts...I'm posting via my phone so it's hard to say much more.

Sorry you're having such a hard time!

Are you sure you still want to be vegan? It sounded like your motivation might have been a little questionable.

Also, if you are living in a food desert, that can be challenging enough just to get normal nutritious food without adding even more challenges to the equation.

Whatever you decide, I highly recommend making your health the single highest priority..doing everything you can to get the nutrients you need FIRST. I also think it's fine and maybe even preferable in some ways to switch over to a vegan diet "gradually" anyway. Your microbiome often needs a little time to adjust to the changes and if you already have pre-existing health issues, it might be best not to make drastic changes all at once...especially if you're having a hard time obtaining fresh produce.

If buying food from convenience stores,
try reading the ingredients on the lables and try to find foods with as few things "added"as possible... and as close to natural as possible, and minimize foods with a lot of sugar...high fructose corn-syrup...trans-fats...and preservatives if possible.

Have you considered buyng dry beans? They're cheap as dirt and very healthy but you have to soak them before cooking (find instructions online if necessary) works best to cook enough for a few meals at a time because the soaking and cooking takes time.

Also, you need to find a source of fresh veggies and or fruit somehow. Maybe explain the food-desert issue with your doctor or social worker if you have one...and see if they can hook you up in some way.

Also, just IGNORE people who intentionally make you feel bad...
They're not worth your time or attention.

Maybe keep your dietary choices to yourself unless you're speaking with kinder people.

I hope you get more suggestions from others. These are just the one's that came to my own mind.

Take care of yourself!

 

[coloheadwaters]

Vegans in the developed world are exercising great privilege.
You aren’t in that situation.
Eat as many plants as you can. Look up whole food, plant based diets. Be kind to animals and people. Do what you can, right now. Later, you may be able to do more.
if your family slaughters the animals, that as ethical as you get with meat.

 

[Lifetron]

I really like the previous suggestion

Do what you can, right now.

Try approaching your diet from a more scientific perspective. Now to be clear, I don't mean accepting information from mainstream science Dr. Dietitians, I do mean figuring it out yourself by experimenting on yourself. It's your body, it's your experiment. Go vegetarian. Some animal products are helpful in some circumstances (though not nearly as much as people think.) David Wolfe has a nutrition certification program that is wildly criticized but can improve your attitude because it actually works if you can apply your intelligence and count new blessings.

 

[Karuma]

I really like the previous suggestion

Try approaching your diet from a more scientific perspective. Now to be clear, I don't mean accepting information from mainstream science Dr. Dietitians, I do mean figuring it out yourself by experimenting on yourself. It's your body, it's your experiment. Go vegetarian. Some animal products are helpful in some circumstances (though not nearly as much as people think.) David Wolfe has a nutrition certification program that is wildly criticized but can improve your attitude because it actually works if you can apply your intelligence and count new blessings.

I am anti science

 

[Tom]

Hello everyone, I just found out about this forum today. My apologies for any grammatical mistake, as I'm not English.

Your English is good enough for me to understand you (and better than my French, Latin, or Irish, which I studied a bit years ago)!

What do you mean when you say you're anti-science? I know a lot of scientists don't care about animals at all. Someone who DOES care about animals, and is sensitive as you, might not trust scientists for that reason. But modern medical knowledge does tremendous good. Even animals have benefitted from veterinary medicine.

Thank you so much for listened to me, please remember that I enter manic phases and that is not my fault I cannot control myself and I have NO support whatsoever, the Internet is literally my only source of support. Have a nice day

Lack of support is a problem. I don't think the Internet can substitute for people in real-life who really care about you. People here will do what we can, but that probably won't be enough- although it's better than nothing. We definitely won't be able to help you with manic phases.

EDITED TO ADD: Being in a food desert is also a tremendous problem; I don't have experience with that, but some people do. Can anyone here offer Karuma any advice?

 

[Lifetron]

It's alright to be anti-science but don't let them cheat you out of using the scientific method for yourself if it helps you. Too often scientists take things so far that they become more fanatical than pay per view christian gangsta rap evangelists threatening you at salvation point?

 

[Karuma]

Hello again ! I'M BACK !!!!!!!

 

[Tom]

Welcome back!