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I know people like this too. Every family has a few. From what I have seen, I don't think directly helping her is going to change her or make things better for the kid and should be avoided.

Does she have family who will give in to all her pleas for sympathy? No doubt it would be very difficult, but a tough love approach (from the whole family) may be in order. If she is actually neglecting her child, perhaps a call to social services is in order, to at least scare her a little. (or like in Tame's situation, family may end up taking custody.) But any kind of help that benefits her, and not just the child is going to make things worse. Plus it is too much of psychological burden to be sponged off of.

Hang in there and try not to feel guilty about anything (let the people who raised her take care of her!) I share your anger in these kinds of situations. What can you do?
 
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