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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ok....i know its not nice to call her a weirdo....but what would you say?

She is VERY quiet, ive met people who are shy and quiet when you first meet them but she has been my roommate all year and we have yet to have a normal conversation.

At first i thought she just didnt like me, but she will come in my room all the time and just sit on my floor, and watch me do whatever it is i'm doing. if i try and talk to her (like any normal person would, she just gives me short yes or no responces)

I have taken to avoiding her because i dont like being stared at like i'm an animal in the zoo, and the akward scilence is just too damn akward! but now everytime i leave my room to cook in the kitchen or anything she is RIGHT behind me.

it is really starting to freak me out!
 

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Sounds like the bird boys. These two dorks I used to work with, they'd come over on break and stand right behind my chair for the entire 15 minutes. I'd say hey and they'd just stand there, right behind me, breathing down my neck. I'd ignore them and talk to the other people around me but they just wouldn't go away. They never said a word. I'm surprised they didn't shoot up the place.

That's it, you're coming to live with me!
 

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Maybe she has the idea (that some people get) that just bc you are roomates, you are some how "partners" for the year. Have you invited her to any of your social gatherings? Does she have friends of her own? What year is she? If she's new, maybe she is really shy.
 

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Have you tried asking her questions where she has to give more detailed responses? (Like about her family/friends back home, what her home town is like, what her high school was like, what she was involved in, hobbies, etc.)

Also, have you ever just outright asked her why she sits and doesn't talk to you or why she is following you to the kitchen? It might shock her into talking.
 

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Careful of those roommates!

My last female roommate right before I graduated from college was very dangerous. She moved into the house I was renting and lived in the lower level. I lived in a small city so I trusted everyone and didn't check her references. She wanted to live with me because I had a computer, and she loved computers.

The first month was OK, we got along, but I thought she was a bit strange. Then, I had to get my programming assignments done and she wanted to get on my computer, saying she had an important chat room session at 10pm. Since I was busy in college with a tiring waittress job and didn't have much time left over for homework, I told her she'd have to wait for a night when I was working (she could see my schedule). She got upset. Very upset. She then went into a tirade how I would wake her up during the day playing with my cat. My cat brings me a fluffy sparkle ball and I throw it and we play fetch. Apparently she hates that. She threatened to kill my cat. Now, I am a very kind and patient person, so I didn't want to say anything to further anger her. But she went on to call me outrageous racist names (I still laugh at what she came up with), and then proceeded to chase me around the house. I had no locks on my bedroom door, so I had to hold it shut for almost an hour, while she tried to get in. Finally, she left the house and got in her car to leave.

I was so mad I ran downstairs to see how she had been living. In filth, mountain dew cans and cigarettes everywhere. But very disturbing was her thousands of letters to past boyfriends, all saying the same thing. She wrote that she had bought a gun, how much it costs, and how she planned to kill them. Her letters clearly depicted an insane, raging mad person.

Trembling, I dug up her old contact number and called up her old roommate. This was at 3am in the morning. She sounded very concerned, said that Michelle was evicted, and ran and got the landlady (at 3am!). The landlady told me I was in danger, they found bullets in her bedroom when she left, and said my roommate would not hesitate to hurt me. She said to get out of the house immediately and call the police.

My roommate was gone for a week. In the meantime my dad installed locks on my bedroom and office, we shut down the phone.

The judge agreed she was a dangerous woman. He granted me a restraining order from her. At least 3 of her past boyfriends in our city had restraining orders on her. She's had a bad history.

Thank god I graduated from college a few months later and never had to get another roommate again.
 

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Didn't mean to hijack your thread with my psycho roommate post, but more related to your story, I also had an old coworker who would just stand there and smile at me. I forgave her, as she was obviously had zilch social skills, but every now and then she would loosen up and I could see her personality. But I felt sorry for her, she had no friends except for her brother.

I was a bit shy in college too around people I didn't know, but once I got to know them, you couldn't shut me up and we'd have some great times!

I guess I would also try and ask her more detailed questions where she's forced to answer more than just yes/no. Try to see what her interests are, or if she's bored and wants to do something.
 

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Giancoli: Your story sounds a *lot* like my house-mate who shares one of my paper-thin walls. Sometimes she comes and asks if I want to go to meal hall with her (presumably because she doesn't want to go alone), and when I do, she barely says a word to me! I try to get conversations started. But just like you said with your's, any question I ask is always answered with a short response. It's kind of annoying, so I've taken to avoiding her most of the time.

I think the best way to deal with these people is just to say "yes, dear" and leave it be. Hang out with them when you both want to hang out, talk when you both want to talk. But the person's not going to be a lasting friend, so it's not worth it to let it bug you.

Dotnetdiva: Eep! That's the only word I can think of. Eep!
 

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i can think of another one: psycho

my worst roommate experience was the girl with the raunchy smelling feet who would barge into the basement where a friend was sleeping, at 7am, turn on all the lights and put a load of laundry in. idiot. she couldn't understand why everyone was upset with her, and just kept saying she needed the clothes for work. though we didn't have a working dryer at the time so everything had to be hung overnight to dry, and she'd leave the clothes in the washer and go to work then hang them when she got home at 9pm. could she not have washed them at 9? they'd be just as dry in the morning. maybe even less wrinkled


as far as shyness, i guess that's all you can do, ask more open ended questions and maybe ask her what's going on, why she watches you etc.

maybe she has a crush on you
 

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Sounds weird. I had a roommate in college who used to argue w/herself. She would also give all my friends weird looks when they came over & really cold to them. It came to the point where my friends would call & say that they wanted to come over, but if shes there they cant. She would also put on her pjs at 6pm & say that no one could come over after that. She went out a whole one time during the two quarters we were roommates.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
we really dont hang out too much anymore, when i first moved here i didnt know anyone, so i tried to make friends with her. She dosent really have any friends, so i used to try and invite her out everyonce in a while....she just seems so bored, and i would hate to stay held up in my room all day everyday! i dont really do that anymore cause no matter what i do to try and get conversations going it just never happens.

she dosent have a car and i do, so when i go to the grocery store i usually invite her along. last night at about 1230 she came and knocked on my door and said she was hungery, and would i mind taking her somewhere to eat. i really didnt wana go anywhere, i was trying to get homework done, and go to bed, so i said she could just eat anything i had, and we could go shopping tomorrow. now she is pissed! i said hi to her this morning and she just looked at me, and walked passed.

i'm not worried that she will kill me or anything, i just think she is lacking in any social skills....her and her brother were homeschooled together, and i dont think they have anyfriends besides eachother!
 

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Sounds very weird. How does this person function in an academic environment? Does she answer if called on in class?

Does she do term papers and writing assignments? I am just wondering if it is oral communications that are the problem, or if she is just noncommunicative generally. I mean, does she write and/or answer e-mail? This just sounds bizarre.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
she spends a LOT of time in her room....so i dont really know how many email she writes, but her brother and her boyfriend call her all the time, (sometimes like 4 times a day) and i hear them talking for hours. That is what made me think that she just didnt like me...but then she always follows me around, so i dont know what to think. her brother and b/f both live about 2 hours away, and she rarely sees them, as far as i know she does not have any friends here in town. her brother and b/f are both younger than she is, and i'm older, so maybe she is just immature?

Ive never had any classes with her, but she is an english major, and gets good grades so i'm sure she dosent have a problem writting.
 

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G- If it ever gets to the point of being bad for you, like she is always asking for rides and stuff, I would talk to one of the hall advisors about it. (I assume you are in a dorm). They may be able to give you some ideas, or even be able to switch you, but isn't it almost the end of the year?

I knew a guy who had a roomate who was shy but ok, but my friend noticed that everything he owned had this weird greasy film all over it. And if he leant something to the guy, it would come back with the film on it. Hm.

My advice to people in college in general- try to live alone as soon as you can (but not freshman year), or with a small group of friends who you know for certain are responsible and have compatible lifestyles. I have a million horror stories I could share about sharing off-campus housing with people.
 
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