[funnelsmeowmeow]

Hello, Veggie Boarders! I went vegetarian 139 days ago, and I am experiencing a problem that I feel like can only be aided by those with similar experience.

A little background that might help: I watch what I eat, I make sure to get all the necessary vitamins and nutrients, and I am a very conscious eater. My husband is 100% supportive of this decision, although he does not eat vegetarian 100% of the time. All home cooked meals are 100% vegetarian, and SOON will be Vegan.

My husband and I are trying to have a baby. And we are so incredibly excited! We've already decided that we are going to raise our children vegetarian/vegan (preferably vegan). Husband is completely on board, totally agrees.

What worries me is his darn Mother. We have kind of a good relationship with one another, but my MIL (mother-in-law) is under the impression SHE IS NEVER WRONG. She is very stubborn. She is completely uneducated on the topic, and her facts are completely & totally wrong, yet she thinks she is SO RIGHT.

Out of ALL of the concerns of raising children, this is my NUMBER ONE fear: That I will drop our child off (regardless of age) to have "Nana Time," and even after setting the boundary of no meat very clearly, I find out she fed our child animal products. In the case of that event, I will handle our child's health accordingly, in case they become sick.

The fear of this happening overwhelms me. I'm overwhelmed guys. How do I sit down and politely, but very firmly lay down the lines? Part of me wants to say, "If you violate this rule, you will lose all baby sitting, unsupervised privileges with our child." Is that too harsh? Do you agree or disagree? Also, how do you suggest I handle the situation if I do set boundaries, and she violates them?

I'm know that there are vegan/vegetarian parents on the board, & I'm positive at least ONE user has encountered an unhappy Grandma or Grandpa.

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read & comment. All thoughts will be helpful, as I have never experienced this before!

 

[Enthios]

The need to protect your child from harm is a very serious thing. Don't trust people who don't respect the ideals that you have concerning taking care of your child. How strong is your conviction? Can you sternly tell her how serious you are about not wanting to feed it what you don't want it to have? If so, provide its food and tell her no other food. If you find out she is violating your wishes then she is disrespecting you and the very health that you are trying to provide for your child and that is a very serious offense. That is a beautiful thing to care for a child that well and if someone can't respect that then you should do something about it. Don't play games with it, there doesn't necessarily have to be too much explaining to her, that is your child. Protect it. If she doesn't promise or if you don't trust her then yes tell her that it means too much to you to allow your child to be with someone who doesn't respect your protective wishes. Visiting may have to wait until the child is old enough to control its own consumption without devious interference of others. Hey a soft approach may work but it may not.

 

[Joan Kennedy]

Don't go all harsh unless she's actually done something! She doesn't have to agree with what you're doing, she just has to agree to roll with it. There's plenty of time between now and whenever; it takes awhile before a baby's tract can even handle meat anyway, and you're only 139 days in yourself as a vegetarian. Get pregnant, have the baby, breastfeed, and make all your own baby food by hand. By then the two of you should have reached an understanding, and her respect for your views will have had some time to ripen once you've made her a grandma. It's not like she's planning to tattoo a giant M on your baby's head or something. If she feeds your baby meat, your baby's crap will stink to high heaven and you'll know something's up.

 

[Tiger Lilly]

A baby! How exciting for you!

It probably goes without saying, but even if your MIL doesn't feed your child animals, or animal products, your kid is going to end up eating something it shouldn't and that something....Could be an animal. Toddlers put all kinds of things in their mouths. I apparently had quite the appetite for bugs when I was little....and mud. Teenagers rebel. Young adults try and find a way to define themselves, by doing the opposite of what their parents did. I figure you already know that, but try to keep it in mind. It'll be easier in the long run.

I'm with Joan on this one.

But I think making sure your MIL has food that the baby CAN eat in her house is a good step forward, when getting her to babysit. Is it worth even asking her, closer to the due date or after the baby is born, to come and help you make some baby food? That way, you can talk to her about what you're putting in it and why it's nutritional.

Like- "Hey, can you chop up the sweet potato before I boil it? I never knew this, but sweet potatoes can be SO good for growing bodies....ect ect ect ect".

Good luck!

 

[Veganic One]

Im sorry, but there is more here than meets the old eye. I have this issue with ALLLLLLLLLL of the grandparents in our OLD life. I say old, and Ill get to that. People, no matter their beliefs, conviction, etc, ALWAYS seem to take issue with something out of the norm. Add on top of that a woman "taking away" her son, and teaching him, and "HER" grandkids a way that IS NOT her way, that "worked" for her for decades and her mom and her mom, blah blah. I see it simply like a few here do, you have your way, and she WILL mold to it, or she WILL be away from it. My own mother chooses to drink over seeing her grandkids. I understand, trust me, addiction to alcohol is different to addictions of the food variety, but hey, these are my/your kids here. She was given simple guidelines, don't drink before you come over....simple. She COULDNT do it...per her, I think she chose to do it. So to your MIL...I say this, "Ma'am, please try your hardest to live by the old adage, "If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all...please" this is your life, and welcome to the social sting of ANYTHING food related, especially Vegan. Well, you will get there. Once you realize that eating the excretions and chicken periods...isn't for you.