VeggieBoards banner
1 - 20 of 25 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My best friend's 9 year old son went vegetarian 2 years ago all by himself. I obviously support him immensely and will cook special things for me and him when they are over for dinner or if we go to their house. Last week I casually asked her if she has told him about gelatin, rennet, etc and she said she had not because it would be too difficult for her and her husband.

It's truly none of my business (we're super close so mearly asking was no big deal). But I was kinda shocked. She was vegan for 8 years and later vegetarian and now she eats meat. (however occasionally so she can still feel "good" about herself) So she knows what's up. Her Bhuddist husband is a big meatasaurus but they have this 9 year old boy who is very passionate about his choices who I assume will one day figure out about this and be very upset that his mother did not tell him.

There's nothing for me to do and it's not the end of the world, but I know he wouldn't eat those things if he knew. So I was just posting this cause it's a vegetarian issue that no one else will understand. It just sux...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
590 Posts
unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who think these kind of choices are wrong. For a 9 year old to have such a strong mind towards this ( especially at the age 0f 7) deserves the right to know. If a seven year old could figure out what most adults can not, and be so compassionate about it, he does not deserve to be cheated out of this compassionate, wonderful lifestyle based on ignorant parents.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
He's vegetarian but doesn't eat straight up milk or eggs. Only when his mother makes stuff with milk and eggs does he eat it and same goes for cheese.

I just feel bad for the little guy that his mother has information that she withholds from him out of her own convenience. I mean... I understand and like I said it's none of my business... but still?!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,777 Posts
You're not his parent, so the right thing to do would be to allow his parents to raise him as they see fit. As long as they're not putting him into danger, it's not really your business. But if the kid asks, I'd be honest with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,977 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by OregonAmy View Post

You're not his parent, so the right thing to do would be to allow his parents to raise him as they see fit. As long as they're not putting him into danger, it's not really your business. But if the kid asks, I'd be honest with him.
Ditto.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I know it's none of my business. I think this will be the third thime I've said that. I just feel bad for him.

If he outright asked me about something I would tell him to ask his mother. It is not my responsibility to inform him, or lie to him, or upset my friend by telling him things he wants to know but she doesn't want him to know. I'm staying out of it comepletely. It just bothered me. A lot. I rememeber asking my mother about meat. She told me it was good for me, not to worry, and that it's fine. I was furious with her later.... though it's not her fault and I got over it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
181 Posts
Yeah. I told my friend straight out, when she said her parents think going veggie is a good health choice... I was like, make sure they know about gelatin and stuff, and she was just like: what? She didn't know... then again, neither did I before I came to this board.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
267 Posts
A lot of people who first go veggie dont know about the gelatine / rennet thing. I doubt he will feel betrayed by his mother for not telling him, rather will just assume that she didnt know or didnt think it would matter to him. He'll learn about it when he's older, and can make his decisions about it then.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
LOL- Mr.Falafel... you're terrible
I couldn't do that... though I may e-mail it to his mother

He's a smart kid- super smart. He's compassionate and world-conscious. I just adore him. He also knows his mother very well and when he finds out he Will Know that she just didn't tell him. He doesn't go to the circus and the zoo makes him sad but he's very happy with his vegetarianism. When he finds out... he'll be upset, I just know it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
885 Posts
He's 9. He has a lot of time to worry about caring for the animals. Right now he's doing a great job, and as he learns more, his dietary self-regulation will vary (as many of ours do, dropping milk, switching to cage free eggs, or giving up eggs, etc.) I think these things are all part of the natural evolution of a vegetarian lifestyle and he will figure it out on his own. Don't feel bad.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
7,981 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachbnny View Post

LOL- Mr.Falafel... you're terrible
I couldn't do that... though I may e-mail it to his mother

He's a smart kid- super smart. He's compassionate and world-conscious. I just adore him. He also knows his mother very well and when he finds out he Will Know that she just didn't tell him. He doesn't go to the circus and the zoo makes him sad but he's very happy with his vegetarianism. When he finds out... he'll be upset, I just know it.
Seriously if you saw someone making a potential mistake that could cause adverse consequences for all involved, wouldn't it be a mistake to not point it out or at least question it?

I don't see what is wrong with having a quiet talk with his mom saying "I know its none of my business but don't you think your kid is going to be very upset with you one day for knowingly witholding information about something he cares about so deeply? How would you feel if your mother did that to you?". Sure she could tell you to mind your own business but at least you gave it a shot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
885 Posts
I think I would be pretty pissed if someone tried to tell me how to feed my child. Actually I know I would be. "Don't you think you should give her a LITTLE meat? I mean, she won't be able to digest it if she chooses to one day. And she'll be different from all the other kids. Do you want that?"

I say back off. She's letting her 9yo BE vegetarian when she is not, that's better than a lot of parents do.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
7,981 Posts
I don't think anyone is trying tell anyone how to feed their child. The concern is the parent may be making a huge mistake by lying to at worst or misleading their child. This could lead to big trust and resentment issues in the future. That wouldn't be good for anyone involved.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,875 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
We're superbestfriends. She's 31 and I'm 23 but her husband has come home to us jumping on the bed, giggling, with pita chip crumbs on our faces numerous times. We talk about everything... so bringing this up is no big deal. We talk about everything about her son from school, (I work at his school) to diet, to his recent interest in girls. It would probably be offensive if it wasn't between us.

Which is why I brought it up in the first place. And it was weird cause she doesn't withhold information from him about anything else, ie: sex, religion, his father.... nothing.

I can't back off cause I'm not "all up in it"- lol. I brought it up and was just shocked by her reaction... and I told her that. She was vegan forever, went veg with him when he did, and then turned back to meat. We talk about veg*ism all the time. She's rockin... I just didn't understand this.

Like I said... it's none of my business and it's not the end of the world. I find it more important that he see a vegetarian who doesn't waiver in their beliefs (like me- cause he doesn't know any others- including his Bhuddist parents who flip-flop a lot).

The trust thing is true but not for me to worry about. I know that my friend can not stand her mother for things like this... so I hate to see her repeat a cycle of her own.

Thanx for all the thoughts and open discussion- I've really appreciated it
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
10,763 Posts
"If he outright asked me about something I would tell him to ask his mother. "

You are right. You can't tell him, even if he asks. But you can't lie either. You have to tell him: go to the library or look on the net, and find out. You can tell him that because he is a minor you can't discuss things with him that one or both of his parents don't want you to discuss with him - unless of course his life or limb is in immediate danger unless you tell him right away, which isn't the case here. Don't worry, it is just a matter of a few years, if not days, before he finds out what gelatin is made from and drives his mother nuts and starts learning to cook himself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,260 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by tessha_m View Post

i don't think its a big deal. He's not a vegan... it would be different if he wanted to be vegan.
Tessha: most vegetarians here do not consider gelatin vegetarian because it still has to come from a dead animal. However, a full-on discussion of that would be better off in a new thread.
 
1 - 20 of 25 Posts
Top