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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've secretly been a vegetarian for two years. I say secretly because my family is completely against anything but a big, juicey, hunk of red meat.

How do I tell them that I'm not only a vegetarian, but now I'm a vegan? I know they won't accept it, but is there anyway to break the news to them? Or should I just continue eating salads while they eat meat? And drinking vanilla soy milk and eating no dairy? Should I just hope that it will finally dawn on them that I'm a vegan?

 

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How old are you? Do you live at home? I would think if you live at home they will notice something is up since you are eating very differently.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I'm 14, and yes, I live at home. But, not to bash my family or anything, sometimes they can be very unobservant.

They don't seem to pay enough attention to notice that I eat differently, yet I'm not "hiding" it from them, seeing as I still have to use their money to buy my vanilla soy milk, and other veggie products.

I don't know what to do, I know if I tell them, I'll be "shunned", but if I don't, will I be happy? Will I be able to continue my veggie life-style?
 

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If they don't notice I would run with that and let them not notice for as long as possible. Then if it ever does come up you can say "I've been vegan for X amout of time and you didn't even notice, so it must not be a big deal"
 
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why do you feel you need to tell them? to have it be 'out there' or to declare yourself as being 'insert label here', or do you feel like you're living a secret life and its tearing you apart becuase you didn't say 'it' ?

how will telling them change your day to day actions and happiness, really?

if there aren't any fights now, and nobody seems to care that you're drinking soya milk and eating salad, and you know that declaring 'i'm a vegan!!!' will cause a riot, i'd be inclined to keep my mouth closed, lol.

they have to have noticed you drinking soya milk and not eating meat, unobservant or not, if in the past 2 years no meat has passed your lips, and you're getting veggieburgers bought with the groceries, etc.

why cause an uproar just to out yourself, if nothing'll positive will change about the way you do eat curently- i bet if anything, you'll end up forbidden and get greif for the rest of the time you life at home, its not like you imagine they'll embrace it, all go vegan too, and buy you a giant tub of soya icecream to celebrate, do you, lol?

there aren't any problems with things how they are now?

i'd leave it alone, then. *shrugs*
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VirginVegan View Post

I'm 14, and yes, I live at home. But, not to bash my family or anything, sometimes they can be very unobservant.

They don't seem to pay enough attention to notice that I eat differently, yet I'm not "hiding" it from them, seeing as I still have to use their money to buy my vanilla soy milk, and other veggie products.

I don't know what to do, I know if I tell them, I'll be "shunned", but if I don't, will I be happy? Will I be able to continue my veggie life-style?
I would just tell them. I'm 16, and when I becam veg*n at your age, I did it slowly and tried to keep it sort of secret. At first, I figured my dad (the only one I have to worry about with these situations) wouldn't have it, and wouldn't let me. But as I slowly changed my habits, he took notice, and I also told him things similar to the effect of "I don't want to eat [blank] for whatever reason". I started by simply eliminating fast foods, then reduced food consumption, and very slowly switched over to healthier, natural foods, and finally got to my current point of complete vegetarianism (I eat honey, though, which I don't plan to stop eating). However, even today, my dad can be kind of annoyed at my habits, and I have often received criticism or sarcasm from friends or close family members.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't have to tell them. I know that. It would just make things easier in the transition to veganism if they knew. But I certainly don't have to tell them, and y'all are saying everything I've been telling myself forever. I just feel like I'm as a
sometimes.

I certainly do NOT expect them to become vegan, or even vegetarian. They'd probably be chewing on beef jerky while I told them.

I'll just keep it to myself and let them come to me about it, if they ever notice.
 

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i don't see any reason to bring it up at this point. you're already doing it anyway.

uunless, of course, you need their help (ie, to buy more food for you or something).
 

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I agree that if they don't notice, and you're still getting the proper foods you need & that they'd be unsupportive if you told them, it might be best to keep it to yourself for awhile. No need to deal w/them being unsupportive etc.. if you don't have to.
 

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Just quietly do it. Don't make a big deal out of it. (After all, the food police aren't watching your other family members to see what they are eating.)

Just act as if being vegan is the most natural thing in the world.
 

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I know that it's hard. I tried to tell myself that vegetarianism was stupid for 9 months before I caved in. Like you, I was afraid of my mother's responce. But it's quite disturbing to be eating animal flesh, so I refused the leftover Christmas ham one night 2 years and 362 days ago, delt with the fam's responce, then went vegetarian. A few months later, I asked my mom if she would take me to the grocery store, because I wanted some lettice and soy milk, of course, she knew instantly and blew up on me... once the yelling stopped, she agreed to sleep on it. She didn't bring up the subject for three more days, while I eat plane iceberg lettice, I think she was testing my indurance. She finally talked to me about it in a calm voice. She told me that I had to drink milk every night, and she didn't care what kind it was, but she wished that it would be cows milk, because that was the healthiest. She told me that she was worried because osteoporosis runs in the family, and that was part of her bad responce. I promised to drink at least one glass of soy milk per night (I then held my nose each night when I gulped it down as quickly as possable, followed by shoving tons of better tasting food in my mouth to mask the taste of soy milk. I love soy milk now), and to research vegan health. I could go on, but I'm begining to ramble, so I'll make it as short as I can. Eventually, I asked her for money to do my own grocery shopping. She agreed, and I took my $15/week with me on the city bus to the grocery store. Sometimes, she gave me a ride. $15 didn't and dosn't get me far, but quite thankfully I only had to do that for about 6 months, then I picked up some babysitting jobs and started to use the money I earned from that.

If I managed to get my milk obsessed mom (who was recently diagnosed with osteoparosis) to let me dump dairy, then you can get your meat obsessed parents to let you dump meat. And the word vegetarian is the only one they need to know your diet by. Tell them that not eating milk, eggs etc. is just an addition to being vegetarian.

Good luck... I luv' ya hun!

-17 yr old
 

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I am sorry you are in this situation and struggling with having to keep a secret. That is a horrible situation to be in. If you feel saying you are "vegan" may cause problems, you could just continue to decline certain foods without further explanation and request foods you'd like. Since you are young and dependent on them, why throw a label on it if it may only cause you problems.

My only concern is whether you are eating properly, due to having to "hide" your situation, and having family that doesn't seem to be paying any attention to your diet. Please make sure that you are getting the proper nutrients like calcium and B-12, etc.

It's wonderful that you've taken this step at such a young age and I commend you for doing it without family support. Just remember you have lots of support here... if you're not getting it IRL.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I suppose your all right. There is no point in telling them when I know what would happen.

I appreciate the support from you all, and believe it or not, I actually started crying after I read all of your posts. Especially yours, Jennifer, and forthebirds. I just thought of how nice it would be If someone in my family would speak to me that way.

Oh well. And yes, I've been making sure to get all of my vitamins and minerals like a good little girl.

Thank you so much for the support, you have no idea how much it's helping me.
 
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