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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everyone,

just yesterday I posted because my rabbit Sally has been diagnosed with a uterus tumor and I was really depressed and scared, but the situation is looking a bit better today.

Now, however, my mother called me because my father had to be taken to hospital after possibly a stroke and now he's been transferred to the ER of another hospital to check at the neurology department. She sounded really scared on the phone and said that if I wanted to do anything, I should pray really hard: coming from my extremely non-religious mother (religion is not big at all in my family generally), this is deeply upsetting.

I don't know any specifics except that I'm not supposed to tell my brother or granny yet and I'm really worried. If it really is as bad, it'll affect all of us too, of course. (And selfish as this might sound, it also saddens me that it would probably mean I can't go to Denmark to study animation and become a Disney animator because art school would cost too much and I'd feel like I'm leaving my family alone.)

This emotional rollercoaster is really doing me in and I'm not sure how I'll handle it. Strangely enough I don't even feel like crying like I did for my rabbit (cried two days straight) because it just seems too unreal. If someone told me it's a joke and I could laugh now, I think I would - I was prepared for the reality of Sally's death within the near future, but my father having something serious like this has never been real, even though he has severe diabetes and eats a really unhealthy diet. I feel horrible for feeling so little at all right now, maybe it's shock or maybe I'm just an awful person.

I'll go cuddle my rabbit now and dance a little until I get more news from my mother. Please wish my father luck!

Kjesta
 

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I'll wish you both luck.
 

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I'm so sorry, Kjesta. Best of luck!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kjesta View Post

Hello everyone,

just yesterday I posted because my rabbit Sally has been diagnosed with a uterus tumor and I was really depressed and scared, but the situation is looking a bit better today.

Now, however, my mother called me because my father had to be taken to hospital after possibly a stroke and now he's been transferred to the ER of another hospital to check at the neurology department. She sounded really scared on the phone and said that if I wanted to do anything, I should pray really hard: coming from my extremely non-religious mother (religion is not big at all in my family generally), this is deeply upsetting.

I don't know any specifics except that I'm not supposed to tell my brother or granny yet and I'm really worried. If it really is as bad, it'll affect all of us too, of course. (And selfish as this might sound, it also saddens me that it would probably mean I can't go to Denmark to study animation and become a Disney animator because art school would cost too much and I'd feel like I'm leaving my family alone.)

This emotional rollercoaster is really doing me in and I'm not sure how I'll handle it. Strangely enough I don't even feel like crying like I did for my rabbit (cried two days straight) because it just seems too unreal. If someone told me it's a joke and I could laugh now, I think I would - I was prepared for the reality of Sally's death within the near future, but my father having something serious like this has never been real, even though he has severe diabetes and eats a really unhealthy diet. I feel horrible for feeling so little at all right now, maybe it's shock or maybe I'm just an awful person.

I'll go cuddle my rabbit now and dance a little until I get more news from my mother. Please wish my father luck!

Kjesta
Wow
I know exactly what you mean about the differing emotions. It doesn't make you a bad person. Stay strong and good luck.
 

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Yes, I think you're in shock and maybe denial. It's totally normal and you are NOT a bad person. You are in my thoughts.

Laura
 

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Your bunny and your dad are in my prayers and thoughts. I don't think your a bad person for feeling numb after news like that. I think when we have to deal with a lot of tough stuff all at once eventually our mind goes nope not gonna deal with this right now. I think it's totally normal. When it does hit you know that having a freak out about it is also normal. *hugs*

Audrey
 

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Originally Posted by Raven815 View Post

Yes, I think you're in shock and maybe denial. It's totally normal and you are NOT a bad person. You are in my thoughts.

Laura
^Agreed. I've been there before. It sometimes hits you later...really, really hard.


I am so sorry for everything you're going through Kjesta. You are all in my thoughts and I'm sending good vibes your way that everything turns out okay.
 

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I'm sorry to hear that, Kjesta. You and your family are in my prayers.
 

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I am soooo sorry.....bigg hugg to you.....I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and meditations.....good luck to your dad and whole family.

peace
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thank you so much everyone... My rabbit is probably going to live which is at least one ray of light.

My father apparent hasn't had a stroke but he has a blood clot in his brain, which is probably even worse. It's potentially life-threatening but I don't really know anything in particular yet, I'm going to hospital with my mom this afternoon.

Still no mental breakdown but I suppose it's going to come sooner or later. It's hard not being allowed to tell my brother (he has a disability and takes sickness and death very very very hardly and since he lives in a different town now, we'll tell him in person when he's back home on the weekend or something) or granny, she'd worry herself to death so now she only knows he's in hospital with stroke symptoms. My mom is a nerve wrack but I do my best to support her.
 

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Oh Kjesta, I can really relate. My dad has had open heart surgery, two strokes, a brain bleed, and was diagnosed with gout all in the past six years. It's an awful, horrible, no good emotional roller coaster. Just know that any emotions you are feeling don't make you a bad person. Sometimes it's delayed, sometimes it hits hard and fast, and sometimes it's an empty numb feeling. I hope that everything turns out okay. You are definitely in my thoughts and if you ever need to vent or talk, know that you have someone that isn't going to judge you, no matter what.

As for the studying in another country, I can relate to that, too. I was out of the country when he had his first stroke and felt utterly helpless. I don't think that helps at all, I guess I just want you to know that I really feel for you. Big hugs!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
ade903, I feel for you and I wish you and your father all the best from all my heart. I might take you up on the offer to talk, can't predict anything right now, but please know that I appreciate the offer deeply.

My father is out of the worst danger now. It's not a blood clot but open bleeding but it's nothing that can be fixed by surgery or medication so it's all up to his brain regenerating itself. I'm going to visit him tomorrow. My mother said he talked and varied strongly between when he had trouble remembering things or looking at the doctor's nose instead of his own, but also recounted his medical history complete with the correct terminology and everything. He also talks a lot, which isn't typical of him at all.

We're told that no matter what, the man that went to the hospital almost certainly won't be the same that will come back. On one hand I'm glad that my father is still alive but on the other hand... my oddball, gaming, literature-loving, opinionated, stubborn, nerdy father still died in a way. I don't know how to handle it but I suppose that's normal. Still, he complained that he doesn't have his contacts/glasses at the hospital to read with. Some things stay the same, thankfully. He also asked for me because I was so worried about my rabbit.

I also have a new, young rabbit to take care of over the weekend, it was found in a public toilet by a neighbour and on Monday it'll move in at the environmental centre. Also working tomorrow and Sunday both. Staying busy will help, hopefully.
 
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