Gee, Funky. I am really sorry for all the turmoil you've been going through, but your story confused me completely.
If your ex is your ex and you are seeing another guy, then you should totally break it off with your ex, if you haven't done so already. At least, that's my opinion.
And if you want to get back with your ex, you should get back with your ex, and not see other guys.
It sounds like you want to have it all without making clear choices. And that sounds like a good way to get yourself hurt, and maybe hurt others in the process.
The "let's break up but still be friends" thing has never worked for me. If you can make it work for you, great. But it sounds like you are just providing the ex with too much temptation to fantasize about getting back together with you.
no, i'm not in any 'exclusive' relationship right now. techincally, i'm not even dating any one. granted though, i'm sure the new guy and i will have that talk after we spend some more time together. he knows all about the ex issues and everything. so that's not the problem.
the friend thing has worked for me in the past. one of my best friends is an ex boyfriend, and we have a great friendship and nothing more. and i know the current ex and i can and will also. i just think he got confused the past couple days. i'm definitely going to make sure on saturday, before i leave, that he knows we are only friends and that we need to maintain that, nothing more though. at least not now.
I'm really sorry this is all so distressing. Like Joe, I was somewhat confused by your story, but I'm used to that when reading your posts. (I think it's quite charming and cute, so I'm not negatively confused.) FWIW, I think whoever you end up with is a privileged person.
heh, sorry. and yes, i know my writing style can be somewhat whacked out at times. heh.
yeaj, it's a bit distressing..the timing i think more than anything though. and the fact that i really do not like to hurt people..and the fact that i very likely may have to tell mr. ex that in the future that i have a relationship with the new guy - i just dont want him to feel bad. the story is longer than i can write in an attempted abbreviated version- but it would probably just make it more confusing!
i'm sure everything will clear (for lack of better words) soon though after i am aaway for a while.
It sounds like your ex may know that nothing will happen with the two of you now....but that he has his hopes up for the future. Like he's fooling himself into thinking that when he's ready that you'll just be there. Geez it sucks when crazy stuff like this happens....you seem to be handling it very well though.
Funkified- I really can't give you a lot of advice about how to handle crazy guy situations- would you want it from a 17 year old with one relationship under her belt? I mean, really...
but I just want to say that sometimes you have to have a little distance from the person in order to get over them more and really make an intelligent decision. You leaving more awhile might be really good for that, to gain some space to make correct decisions. For me, its like I have to cut off communciation with my ex or I start thinking I want him back...*sigh* I know how you feel, thats all I can say. *hugs* and props for your calm composure...
My first major ex is now my best friend in the world.
My second major ex...well...we did that on-again-off-again thing for a while after we broke up the first time, but the long and short of it is, he destroyed me in so many ways. He hust me so much without realizing it, and he would use flattery, guilt, or really low blows just to keep me with him, though he lived two states away. I think you should maintain a friendship with this ex, but a distance-friendship, until you're sure you won't be hurt at all by him.
whew...i'm gone from that town for a few months so that'll make things easier..but the ex and i talked before i left and i was right - he said what i thought he would say. all is well and nothing to be too weirded out about anymore.
now when i go back there it may interesting, assuming (and hoping, heh) i'm still dating new dude.
Well, glad things are a bit more cleared up. The whole "let's still be friends" thing can be either really crap or really cool. Like Vegankat, my ex is now my best friend....so it can work, you never know.
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