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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I talked to my dad the other day and was so upset afterward. Then I was asking myself what was bothering me so much. I think I was misreading his intentions or not really knowing his intentions. He asked me about the pain I have and I told him. Then he proceeded to tell me about many others who have pain and how he feels sorry for them. I guess I took it that he was blowing off my problem after he asked me about it. I do realize so many others have problems and pain. When someone asks me how my pain is I tell them, though. Just being me and honest.

To sum it up, do we really ever know anyone's intention of why they are telling us something unless they tell us their intentions? Then sometimes people just say what comes to mind not thinking of how someone might feel or their feelings. But you would think those who know you best would try to be more considerate of your feelings. Doesn't happen that way all the time..
 

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some people are unable to talk with any tact and have no idea what they are saying half they time but these people may also have the best intentions and care the most, I know i am one of them
 

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Seems like parents have so much power to hurt their children...

My mother showed a lot of concern when my husband was getting a vasectomy and not so much when I was getting a c-section. Not only is she MY mother, but a c-section is much more serious...it still hurts when I think about it, but then I remember that my mother is coo coo and I feel better. :)

I'm sorry that your dad hurt your feelings. Maybe you should let him know that he did?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks Mushroom. I was so upset after talking to him. I've tried to tell him my feelings in the past and when I have he has made fun of me. He would tell me that no one else feels that way about what he says. He's told me that a few times or else he gets real angry. He is a very rigid person and hard to communicate with. He is going on 80 and does not even remember what we talk about much any more. I guess I just excuse him and think that he is just how he is. I don't talk to him a lot like I wish I could but it's too painful. Over the past years I have learned that there is nothing I can do with him. I think he is very old school and stern and thinks his children should be seen and not heard. No wonder I went through a lot of therapy. lol. I understand that he is so fragile he cannot hear any type of constructive criticism and I have to protect myself from his reactions, too.

I wonder sometimes if some of our parents cannot express their feelings to us about us but can express them about others who are not there. They may not realize how it effects us. I tend to get angry and hurt when he does. I don't think he knows what he is doing (ignorant) so I'll excuse him. I'm calmed down now.
Sometimes I want to scream about it, though.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Birdlady

Then he proceeded to tell me about many others who have pain and how he feels sorry for them. I guess I took it that he was blowing off my problem after he asked me about it

I think he wanted to tell he feels sorry for you in a not too personal way.
 

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I don't mean to pry, Birdlady, but may ask what the pain is from? Do you have a particular illness? - oh...if there were a hug smiley, I would send it to you, but for now, just consider yourself hugged.
 
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