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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had to eat Mothers Day lunch with my husbands family at this Mexican food restaurant and I didnt think it would be a problem because Ive eaten at several Mexican food restaurants since I've been vegan and I usually get either the veggie fajitas or a spinach quesadilla without the cheese and no butter. Well, this restaurant had neither, plus I didnt like their salsa, their beans were cooked with lard and their salad used iceberg lettuce (which I dislike) and they didnt have balsamic vinaigrette anyway, they had ranch, thousand island and french.

My mother-in-law asked me if I couldnt cheat just a little? I tried to explain to her (again) that I am not on a diet that I go on and off of, but that this is a lifestyle choice for me. She just couldnt understand why I couldnt have chicken just this once. Ugh. She also tried to tell me that some dairy is good. I've tried to explain my choices at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter and why it is important to me, but no one seems to care, they just think I'm being "difficult". I ended up calling in an order to go at the Cotton Patch down the road and got sweet potato fries and fried okra. Then she was irritated that I ordered food from somewhere else. I tried to explain that when Im home I eat whatever I want, I make vegan queso, pancakes, muffins, I eat icecream made with coconut milk, etc. and that the only problem is some restaurants when I go out to eat (which really is Not that often!) Needless to say, it was VERY frustrating! Of course I live in a rural area so our restaurant choices are rather limited. I wish I lived in a vegan friendly area!

And while I'm wishing, I wish I had a supportive family and friends. My husband and kids still make fun of me all the time. My mom is usually supportive though and at the mother/daughter luncheon on Saturday she even took out some peaches and blueberries for me before putting coolwhip on top of the others. and she had them take out a cup of green beans before they added bacon to the rest, so that was thoughtful. Of course they were having chicken fettuccini alfredo, so I took a can of lentil soup for me and just enjoyed spending time with my mom and sister and niece, which was the point anyway.
 

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Ick, I hate this. When I went to visit some family abroad, although I wasn't vegan then, I was veggie and lactose intolerant. They asked me if I could "eat some cheese, just this once" to fit in with everyone else.

Hopefully they'll come around eventually for you, though
 

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I feel your frustration. I often get the "why don't you just take a vegan holiday for once?" from friends. They don't get that it's not about a dietary choice so much as an ethical choice.
 

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lol, i am glad my family knows that i won't cheat. they just have trouble remembering if shrimps etc. aren't plants

sorry to hear that your close family is so unsupportive. i think i woul;d be too pissed at a husband who would make fun of me for this
 

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I have times like this with my family. It actually makes me sad that I feel like it separates us on some level. Food is a culturally recognized bonding experience.
 

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That sucks
I feel super sorry for you, my family is pretty good about it.
My flatmate (she's also my best friend but it's worse now we live together) always wants me to try some of her food, and she just can't seem to grasp that I DON'T WANT TO.
Frustrating!!
 

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I sympathize. My mother thinks my diet choice is "rude and inconsiderate of others." Excuse me?! I'm not vegan yet, but working toward it, which she doesn't know, otherwise she'd really go over the edge. The funny thing is, when I first started this as a "Lent thing," she was totally cool with it. Now that I've decided to keep with it, she's upset, lecturing me about how I'm not getting enough protein, etc, and rolling her eyes when I won't eat broccoli salad that has bacon in it!!


Congrats on being vegan and sticking to your guns; hopefully they'll come around


PS Veganosaurus Rex, I love your avatar!
 

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I get so so angry when people try and make you feel like you're being inconsiderate or rude or difficult for your choices. It surprised me at first because I thought people would be more accepting! WRONG


Quote:
Originally Posted by PugMom View Post

PS Veganosaurus Rex, I love your avatar!
Thanks
 

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I usually try to put it into terms where they can understand the ridiculousness of their request, such as "Couldn't you eat just little cockroach? A tiny bit of dog poo? a scrap of human flesh?" They usually understand my disgust after that.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VenomousX View Post

I usually try to put it into terms where they can understand the ridiculousness of their request, such as "Couldn't you eat just little cockroach? A tiny bit of dog poo? a scrap of human flesh?" They usually understand my disgust after that.
 

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Just be like, "can't you just cheat on your husband a LITTLE?"...

and then pee on her face!

One of those two things will get your point across. Trust me. B)
 

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how can you take a holiday from your ethics? from what you believe is right? It's impossible! It would be like asking her to eat human. She'd think wtf?!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carley View Post

how can you take a holiday from your ethics? from what you believe is right? It's impossible! It would be like asking her to eat human. She'd think wtf?!
That's the example I tend to use in these situations, it's a good one. You can also substitute the idea of eating a kitten/puppy/baby/whatever. Anything that creates that visceral emotional response will help them step into your shoes and "get it"

I think the problem is that most omni's don't think of meat as being dead animals who once had thoughts and feelings, they just see it as food that tastes good that you are depriving yourself of for some reason. So them thinking it must be okay to cheat every now and then isn't really surprising, even if it is extremely annoying.
 

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Hold strong and keep on truckin'. They'll criticize you now but they'll have to let up eventually. Some of them may even join you out of curiosity. That's what's gradually happening in my family. In 2004 there was one non meat eater, now there are three and will probably be more soon.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh James xVx View Post

Hold strong and keep on truckin'. They'll criticize you now but they'll have to let up eventually. Some of them may even join you out of curiosity. That's what's gradually happening in my family. In 2004 there was one non meat eater, now there are three and will probably be more soon.
Yup, that is what is happening in my family as well. My sister is eating hummus and more lentils and such, and my mom has stopped eating red meat. It's a start. Even my meat-loving dad enjoys my stuffed squash and eggplant ball recipes.
 

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You could say it's like being partially pregnant which is technically impossible
. Good luck! Family & friends who want to sabotage you are the worst.
 

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That really sucks! Maybe your family will eventually come around to being more supportive in the future. It takes time.

My family weren't fully understanding of the situation at the beginning, but now they are more supportive than I could have ever hoped for. We wont go to a restaurant as a family if I can't eat there (I will look at a menu online before hand and see what I can veganize, if it's not already vegan). They'll still tease me by announcing how delicious meat is, but they know that even if they jokingly offer some to me, that I will never take it. It used to bother me, but now it's just a big family joke that I can laugh at now.

My grandmother is definitely not supportive or understanding of it yet, and even said to my face on Easter weekend that veganism is stupid. She even thought that fish and other sea creatures were not considered "meat", and my dad clarified to my grandmother that fish is flesh, while I was laughing at her ignorance.

They'll always make sure I have something to eat at the table, such as some cooked veggies, but lathered with Earth Balance rather than regular margarine, then I would be responsible for cooking my own tofu.

I understand not everyone can have such a supportive family, so even when they are on the supportive side, you must always look out for yourself. Make sure you have something you can prepare for yourself beforehand before a meal gathering, in case nothing is provided, if you are going to a restaurant that you know wont have veg*n options and you can't change their mind, eat something before and have something small there like a side dish, salad, or just drink some water. It's a bummer to do everything ourselves but we definitely can never rely on non-veg*ns to do everything for us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
At least the next family gathering on that side of the family won't be for awhile and should be at the MIL's or grandmother's house where I can make and take a dish, so I'm going to experiment and find the most awesome cheesecake recipe ever (no matter how many I have to make and taste to find it, yep, it's a difficult job but someone has to do it) then when they all ooh and ahh over it, I'll just smile and say yep, that's vegan! lol!

Even my so-called best friend gives me grief, saying I've ruined our going out to eat and she'd starve before she could give up meat, yadayadayada, even though I told her that her type II diabetes could be reversed by eating a plant based diet, she didn't care. Oh, and this was AFTER we went to Genghis Grill, where I got an awesome tofu veggie bowl with brown rice, lol!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stacydan View Post

At least the next family gathering on that side of the family won't be for awhile and should be at the MIL's or grandmother's house where I can make and take a dish, so I'm going to experiment and find the most awesome cheesecake recipe ever (no matter how many I have to make and taste to find it, yep, it's a difficult job but someone has to do it) then when they all ooh and ahh over it, I'll just smile and say yep, that's vegan! lol!
How do you feel about pumpkin cheesecake?? This recipe left my omni family amazed and wanting more!! It's seriously delicious and we all devoured it within a very short period of time.
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2007/11...heesecake.html
 

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I get the same thing at family gatherings from my Grandma. She always tells me she's eaten meat for 80+ years and is doing great. She doesn't get that I choose to be vegan for animal rights, and not for my health. (Though the health benefits are amazing.) And if I remind her that I'm vegan for the animals, she just gives me a who cares about the animals statement.
 
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