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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi folks,

So there I'm ovo-vegetarian (meat-no, dairy-no, eggs-yes, honey-yes), and couple of months ago I stopped drinking alcohol as well. I recently found out how hard it is to be included in any social event going on when I don't share neither food nor drink with people. It bothers me, because I think sharing is very important for any kind of emotional bonding. Could you give me some ideas/experiences/opinions on this ?

Another thing - there is and in past was many threads on dating meat-eaters and if you don't mind. I happen to be attracted to totally average british person - and he said he has doubts about any kind of relationship because our lifestyles differ so much (I also exercise regularly and he doesn't). I was quite hurt by that - is he just another stupid and non-tolerant male, or he has a point ?
 

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You can look up vegetarian, straight-edge meetup groups online. I've had success with atheist meetup groups. It's nice because you already have something in common with the people, and you make new friends


As for the second part of your post...that may have just been his "nice" way of saying he doesn't want to pursue anything with you.
 

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If they are real friends of yours, yes that should be perfectly possible. I rarely drink, and don't go out much either. Nobody ever told me to drink alcohol when I didnt want to.

I think you do have to be careful about where you go though, if you go out to a bar at night with your friends it's likely they'll expect to have a drinking party; if you don't like that try to think of other ways to meet your friends that don't include alcohol. Go to the movies, socialize at one of your homes, go bowling.. Just anything you can think of that doesn't have drinking or eating high on the list.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
sequoia: yes, it might have been that way, but it doesn't make me feel any better...

Question is how to get to know new friends which aren't necessarily veg*ans - I know I could find people who are veg, but I don't want to rule out possible friends because of their diets....
So far I haven't had much more in common with veg*ans than just the food choices...
 

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It'd be hard in Scotland, you'd be pushing crap uphill to find people who don't like to drink. Have you got a hobbie that will get you in touch with people either IRL or thru a meetup from the net?
 

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I do drink socially from time to time, but I'm sensitive to alcohol and can only handle a drink or two so it's not something I do very often.

However, a lot of my friends really like drinking and most of them eat meat. We get along because our relationships aren't based on what we eat or drink, but on a bunch of other interests and things we enjoy talking about. I go to parties where friends drink and/or eat meat on a fairly regular basis and it hasn't really been a problem for me. Usually I'll just sip non-alcoholic beverages and have a vegan snack of some kind to munch on like chips or veggies (if I'm going to a party I'll bring a snack or two with me, then I can even share with people and still get that bonding over food experience, haha)

If I'm going to a bar I'll usually just drink pop or water and hang out with people. If you're all talking and laughing and sharing it isn't so important what you are/aren't consuming. In fact, after my friends have had a few they often forget I'm not drinking with them


I totally understand that awkward feeling of being different in a group, but if your friends are really your friends that should pass with time and they should accept you for who you are and like you as a person. And if they DON'T accept your lifestyle changes and pick on you for it I'd say it definitely is time to start looking for different friends, because who wants to hang out with someone who criticizes them all the time, that's just a drag.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sequoia View Post

You can look up vegetarian, straight-edge meetup groups online.
I've been told I'm no longer welcome at those groups. An outcast even among my own tribe, I tell you! Oh well. I consider it an honor. Maybe you'll have more luck - of you consider the appreciation and acceptance of a bunch of joyless, uptight ideologues to be a victory of any sort that is.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh James xVx View Post

I've been told I'm no longer welcome at those groups. An outcast even among my own tribe, I tell you! Oh well. I consider it an honor. Maybe you'll have more luck - of you consider the appreciation and acceptance of a bunch of joyless, uptight ideologues to be a victory of any sort that is.
Was it your lovely and always friendly persona that didn't fit the group?
 

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Do you have any group interests or hobbies that don't hinge on food/drink? If there are any particular hobbies you enjoy, you could try looking for groups to do that and see where things go from there. Last year I started playing Magic the Gathering with some people every Friday evening. It was a fun way to do things with other people and the topic of food rarely came up. If we did get hungry, we would order out, that way everyone could choose what they wanted-no pressure. We didn't always play cards though, we did a lot of board games and video games too. Maybe you could find something similar for the things you like to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thank you all for replies.

sequoia: I even didn't know what "straight edge" means - I looked it up - looks interesting - well, apart from the music - isn't that a little problem ?

Windigo: Yes, cooking for friends that a good way - but at the start you don't immediatelly invite people to your home... or do you ?

offthahook: The state of alcohol abuse here in Glasgow was the main reason I decided to avoid alcohol.... Yes, I'm member of few meetup groups, mostly hillwalking, but.... those people tend to be in their 40ties/50ties/60ties and so a 26yrs old don't find much of common ground...

Werewolf Girl: You're right - just that when you want to meet new people - it been harder since I've been veg - they get scared of the idea that somebody can do (rather no to do) certain things.... and still be ok....

Sevenseas: I'm not really AR activist - just not my cup of tea - I'm more passive than most of AR folks I had chance to meet.

Josh James xVx: I wonder too, what terrible you did to them ?
) I also kind of feer I'll not exactly fit the description of a "uptight ideologue"

Bright Bird: Yes, I do like sports, movies, etc, just somehow haven't found a good group so far.

Cheers.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh James xVx View Post

I've been told I'm no longer welcome at those groups. An outcast even among my own tribe, I tell you! Oh well. I consider it an honor. Maybe you'll have more luck - of you consider the appreciation and acceptance of a bunch of joyless, uptight ideologues to be a victory of any sort that is.
That's unfortunate
I'm not straight-edge by any means, but I have a lot of AR buddies who are. They are extremely sweet and fun.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ssessinka View Post

sequoia: I even didn't know what "straight edge" means - I looked it up - looks interesting - well, apart from the music - isn't that a little problem ?
There certainly is "edge" music, but I don't think you need to listen to it to be straight edge
It was just one idea. There won't be any drinking at their meetups, and the ones I know are really fun.
 

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Yes but you will probably have more luck/more fun if you pick something specific that you want to do with others. If I just go to hang out with people they are pretty much going to be partying. I've been sober for 7 years and while I don't mind being around people drinking or whatever it's just not that much fun. So if I go out I will go out to see a band or make plans to play guitar with others. Any mutual interest will work but if it isn't a specific activity I find people just want to sit around and get high.
 
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