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Hello Im new to veggie boards and this will be my fist post.<br><br>
Im 25 and grew up not eating meat, I did that on my own free will, it was not something put on me by anyone. i chose not to eat meat because I didnt like the taste of it and " liked animals too much" I slowly came out of the anti-meat lifestyle in my early to mid teens and have been off and on with it ever since. I dont want to eat meat but it has become increasingly hard on me. I tried to go back to life stricktly without meat late last year and was doing ok at it but my family would pressure me and haggle me to no end about not eating meat. As a child they did this as well but they realized if they wanted me to eat at all, leaving me alone about what i ate would be the best option or i simply would refuse to eat. Still to this day if we have dinner together and I go the meatless route I get my ear talked off about it. Its easier to deal with when its my family and there not there 24-7 to tell me if i keep it up i'll get sick again but it's in one ear out the other. The hard part is my husband and my brother. They are religous meat eaters, Steaks, ribs, briskett, pork, you name it. If it bleeds they'll eat it. Dinner time would be the same routine in our home, they want meat I want something else and the arguing begins. usually I get my way and fend for myself but my brother and husband are always there trying to get me to try a bite of their meal. naturaly I refuse and get yet another ear full and my brother always manages to find the juiciest most awefull looking piece of grizzel and knaws on it right in my face and opens his mouth to show me because he knows i'll do one of two things, gag uncontrollably or vomit. Despite my awefull feelings about eating meat, Ive fallen into my eating some things with meat stage again. Such as small amounts of fish or chicken but never with bones in it, like that makes a difference. Anyway i find that If i dont eat meat I get very weak and very tired but if I do eat meat even in small ampounts i feel nausious and sickend. I feel like Im dammed if I do and Im dammed if i dont. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks so much for listening.
 

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well if you're weak not eating meat it seems to me you're missing a vital nutrient. when you go off meat do you make sure to balance your meals, get enough of everything and eat a variety of foods?<br><br>
there are lots of charts all over the net where you can figure out how many calories a day you need for your bodytype but it also depends on metabolism. i'd say look up one of these sites (i don't have a link sorry, maybe someone else does) and try to calculate just what dietary needs you have for your bodytype, and go from there.<br><br>
it only takes a short while of counting and monitoring everything before it comes natural and you just instinctively know how much of this and that you need to eat in a day to feel your best. if all else fails get a good multivitamin with minerals, but don't depend on it.<br><br><br><br>
oh and welcome to the boards <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> it's kinda hectic right now but it'll probably settle down sooner or later
 

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You have quite a bit to overcome here, but it can be done. Your family has learned that, when it comes to this subject, you are easily swayed and "open for business" as far as their criticism is concerned. You have to "unteach" them, which is no small feat.<br><br><br><br>
By constantly questioning your decision to not eat meat, they are in reality telling you that they don't believe you're intelligent enough to make your own dietary choices. Now, they may not THINK that's what they're doing, but the fact remains that they are. HOWEVER, if you have attempted to go meatless in the past, and gotten sick because you went about it in an unhealthy way, then unfortunately their argument that you're not intelligent enough to choose your diet holds some water. So you have several obstacles to overcome:<br><br><br><br>
1. Your own inadequate nutrition education - get yourself educated about being a veg*n! Read as much as you can, and put into practice a healthy veg*n lifestyle. This will work WONDERS with family members, as they will see that you are healthy.<br><br>
2. You have taught your family that they can constantly harangue you about your diet and you won't do anything about it. Concerned questions are one thing; if they ask you questions that are genuine and come from concern, then honestly answer. But if they won't listen when you present your reasons, then you have no reason to continue the conversation. I mastered this one: "I appreciate your concern for my health. I've done lots of research about the subject, and feel really good about my decision to give up animal products. I hope that, even if you don't agree with me, you have enough respect for me to accept my choice." If they continue, then the conversation is over - "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm not going to talk about this any more. If you continue to harass me about this, I'm leaving the conversation." And then you have to do it.<br><br><br><br>
It is HARD - but you MUST unteach these people if you ever want to be treated with any respect. You're 25 and married, for God's sake! And as for your brother chewing meat and opening his mouth in front of you, that's just plain immature and not even worthy of a response. He's obviously getting his rocks off by getting a rise out of you. It's pathetic, actually.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck - families can be so difficult sometimes! There's a lot of support here - come back often! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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ElyssaJoy;<br><br><br><br>
I agree with firebird_81; you need to work out the problems with your diet. If your family sees that you are eating vegetarian and are healthy they will probably eventually stop bothering you about your diet.<br><br><br><br>
There is a fabulous book on nutrition called "Becoming Vegan". It's written by registered dieticians that are also long-term vegetarians (one of them is vegan). If you read and understand it, you will be very knowledgable about vegan and vegetarian nutrition. I'm sure you would be able to work out a good diet. It's written for vegans but it also has lots of information for vegetarians.<br><br><br><br>
The same authors also wrote the book "Becoming Vegetarian". You might be interested in that book instead. I can't really recommend it though because I haven't seen it. But, I suspect it's also a very good book. Here are links to the books:<br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=veggieboards.com-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Ftg%2Fdetail%2F-%2F1570671036%2F103-0290024-9172637%3Fvi%3Dglance" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...2637?vi=glance</a><br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=veggieboards.com-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Ftg%2Fdetail%2F-%2F1570670137%2F103-0290024-9172637%3Fvi%3Dglance" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...2637?vi=glance</a>
 

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ElissaJoy,<br><br><br><br>
first of all you need to take your stand on this issue. Marriage and family counceling is a very remote art and/or science to me, but I'll have to say this:<br><br><br><br><b>You do not have to take anything from anyone</b>. It's the year 2003, you know...<br><br><br><br>
Second, I assure you here and now that the arguments for vegetarianism, both moral and scientific, are very sound. This might give you some hold when you are being denounced by others. I do not know your husband or brother, but I think it is safe to say that people much smarter than they have thought about it and become vegetarian.<br><br><br><br>
Check out this quote: "Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater". Considering that this was said by Albert Einstein, I think it can be assumed that he could have said this to just about anyone on this planet.<br><br><br><br>
He also said, by the way, "Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet."<br><br><br><br>
You see where I'm getting at?<br><br><br><br>
That is not to say you have to be a genius to become vegetarian. Most people evolve in their behaviour not by reasoning, but by observing and mimicing others. By setting a good example (but being firm in your stand, see above), you are already in the process of converting them - this is one pet-theory of mine, do you like it? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
What seems to work for me - at least with literate people - is to give them the latest scientific literature on vegetarianism, and challenge them to read and debate it. Not that they really read it, most of them don't. But at least they are too damn embarrassed / annoyed to ever bring it up again. I would love to provide you with articles and book recommendations.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Third, your bodily weakness is not connected to meat. How could it be, since you say yourself that when you eat it you feel even worse? You need to eat a simple and balanced and varied diet mainly consisting of grains, vegetables, fruits and legumes, but it's best to get yourself a book about this, I'm sure people here can give you great pointers for that.<br><br><br><br>
I personally find oatmeal an incredible power food! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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I'm married to a man who isn't vegetarian even, but if he hassled me that much he'd get the bread knife in his ribs...<br><br>
As it is I think he's secretly pleased that he gets all the meat to himself.<br><br><br><br>
It's a pity you haven't got some real life vegetarian friends to ask over to dinner, or at least for a coffee to give you some moral support, the family are ganging up on you and you should have your own army of veggies to answer them back.<br><br><br><br>
Never mind, we'll be here for you- there's loads of us in mixed marriages and we get by ok. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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It sounds quite awful that you have to put up with family members harassing you. If they do it again, you might want to firmly say to them "Will you cut it out? I'm not harassing you over your dietary choices, and the least you could do if you had an ounce of decency would be not to harass me."<br><br><br><br>
You'll pretty much have to drive the point home, but hopefully, theyll realise that what they are doing is rude.
 

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I basically have to second what firebird has already said. Quit letting them walk all over you! Tell them it's your diet, your health, and your decision, damnit! When people I know do things like that, by chewing with their mouth opened full of dead animal, they usually get more than a mouthful from me! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/mad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":mad:"> First of all, its extremely rude, secondly, it's disgusting, and thirdly, where are their table manners?<br><br><br><br>
You really need to read up about vegetarian nutrition. There are a lot of resources online that you can refer to. Here are a few:<br><br><br><br><a href="http://www.vrg.org" target="_blank">www.vrg.org</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegsource.com" target="_blank">www.vegsource.com</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegan.com" target="_blank">www.vegan.com</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegweb.com" target="_blank">www.vegweb.com</a><br><br><a href="http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/pubs/bibs/gen/vegetarian.htm" target="_blank">http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/pubs/bi...vegetarian.htm</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegsoc.org/health" target="_blank">www.vegsoc.org/health</a><br><br><br><br>
A few good books for recipes and nutrition are a good idea, too. Some folks have already listed some good ones.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
You have all been very helpfull, infomative and supportive and I thak you very much. Im not a dummy but when it comes to calories and carbs and nutritional info. im lacking the knowledge. i will admit that. I actually hapen to love oatmeal and eat it for breakfast every morning and that no joke. Im big on salads and fruits and veggies as well. I take in plenty of those.<br><br>
The problem with my family is they are a very involved group and they feel like their approach is whats best for me. If I had a dollar for every time theve tried to drag me to a doctar isisting being veg was unhealthy I could buy us all our own private island. Its quite aggrivating but at the same time they give me an earfull they always seem to stand beside me and support me. But they always maintain though they dont like it or agree with it they will accept it and for the most part they do. my dad is funny like that. he will complain that he doesnt like me not eating meat and I should see a doctor but then he turns around and goes to the nutrition store and buys me all kinds of healthy stuff. I think that they see im not going to change and thay just want me to be happy and healthy. Anyway i need to pick my brothrs children up from school but when I have the time to get to the bookstore I will be looking for some good reading material on a building the foundations to a good balanced veg diet. thank you so much guys for all your advice. talk to you all soon.
 
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