[MZCsmpsns]

Just curious what you all would choose... A long distance relationship (like half way across the country) w/someone you knew for a long time and had a lot in common with and got along great, or a relationship w/someone near by you recently met and still got along great with? Do you think it'd be worth having a long distance relationship and potentially never being able to have a relationship w/the person close by/vice versa??

ETA: Also if both relationships have the potential to be something really great.

 

[froggythefrog]

Long distance and totally worth it. It's all about the person, not the distance. I've never been so loved and understood in my entire life.

 

[GhostUser]

I could never do a long distance relationship. At least I don't think. I don't have money, so I would never see the person.

 

[jeneticallymodified]

i think it depends largely on personality and needs of both partners.

i need to be with the person i love on a physical level (i don't mean i'm a nympho, lol, but i need to be able to hug them, hold their hand, talk to them, and look into their eyes not via webcam, more than once in a blue moon), and i find it very very hard to maintain a relationship with a lot of distance for a long period of time (with my long distance thing, i quickly started loosing it on so many levels, and had to up and haul myself halfway round the planet, to be with him lol, if i hadn't of been able to do this, i know that realistically my relationship wouldn't have survived much longer).

i know of some people who are very busy, very independant, very strong, or for whatever reason just very capable of being with someone, while being far away from them for long periods- but in most relationships like this that i can think of, partners know they will be with their loved one for at least some good lengthed, and fairly well schedualed periods of time in the quite near future- eg: those with partners who work away from home in the forces, work on oil rigs, drive trucks long distance, etc, or they have some plan of being together one day, and are consiously working on it.

i couldn't see them being able to maintain this perminantly if they knew there was little to no hope of seeing/being with their partner at all... but i guess those who marry murderers on death row do it. must take a special kind of person.

 

[Michael Conway]

since those were really the only two options, i didn't want to go with other, i chose short distance. i have done long distance and in the short term it's great.....but as time goes on, long distance is so hard.

 

[veggielove]

Long distance is a killer, but it depends on how LONG it would be long distance. I did long distance with my husband from time and time again for 3 month stints.... it was totally doable. Now of course we're together ;-)

 

[Skylark]

Short distance, great relationship, and our combined resources enable us to travel all over.

 

[Seusomon]

I'm with hoodedclawjen. I could do long-distance only if it were temporary, and we planned to be together again soon. Love relationships are very physical and immediate for me: frequent sex, lots of physical contact, and lots of just being together in the same place. I have maintained good long-distance friendships, but that's a very different thing for me.

 

[Thalia]

I voted other. Long distance for a set period of time would be ok if I already had been having a relationship with them in person. I am afraid that if I started something with someone longterm that there would be a lot of blanks in that my head would fill in for me-- the I could easily be in love with a person who was only half real and the rest fantasy.

For me, the things I like about relationships are the mundane day to day, like cooking together, sitting next to each other reading, going grocery shopping, or long car rides. I don't even need to talk, just having the person around means a lot to me. I used to walk to and from work with my former SO everyday. It was a good way to bs about our days or to just not even talk at all and unwind together.

My ex moved away and I was prepared to do long term for a couple years if we were both committed to it. That didn't seem like a long time to wait for someone for whom I already had strong feelings and a long history.

 

[Tofu-N-Sprouts]

Long distance, and it's totally working for us right now. (Yes, we have plans to be NOT apart at some point.)

But without a doubt it's the best relationship I've ever had...

I can understand where you guys are coming from though, because I'd definitely say I have a strong need to be with someone and physically close to them and doing 'stuff' (just ordinary-everyday-stuff... well no... doing other

stuff is nice too...) but I also have a strong need to be very independant, with my own time and space as well;

Yes, we probably don't have as much physical time together in person, but I think we manage to make up for some of that through frequent visits and...phone...calls...

We talk a LOT - about everything. We've talked more, about more things, in the last year and a half than most couples manage in five.

Or, put another way, I know more about Froggy, through the many wonderful conversations we've had, than I knew about my husband in the whole 15+ years when we were married!

 

[posterscorner]

I have to agree with those that say it depends on the two individuals involved. If they are the type that make sure to keep in contact on a regular basis, then it can work out. That kind of relationship can be just as fulfilling but just takes a bit more work for it to turn out right. One thing that would help out a lot is having specific times set aside for each other to call and not letting anything get in the way of it(real emergencies aside).

Personally though if I have the choice I would choose the short distance relationship so I can easily spend time with the individual. Although you can get an attachment and even grow with someone through conversations on the phone, and visits at certain times, for me there is something extra that comes out of being able to see them in person.

 

[Jessica Alana]

I like my own space and my own alone time. However, I chose the short-distance. If the long distance thing was temporary, then that's cool. But I couldn't do it long term. I like the physical stuff way too much. I dated a guy who only lived an hour away, and we saw each other once a week, and that was still not enough. Then again, maybe a long-distance relationship would work better because you wouldn't see each other enough to get on each other's nerves.

 

[jojob1969]

Close by is better for me. I tried the long distance thing a couple of times and it just didn't work out. Insanely high phone bills didn't help matters at all.

The every day things do matter to me. Plus, I need my snuggle time.

 

[Medesha]

Before we got married, my husband and I spent stretches of many months in a long-distance relationship. We weathered the difficulty and I think it made our relationship stronger. That said, I'm glad we're close now!

 

[froggythefrog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojob1969

Close by is better for me. I tried the long distance thing a couple of times and it just didn't work out. Insanely high phone bills didn't help matters at all.

Thank God for flat rates or I'd be broke!

 

[starseed13]

Close of course. I mean if he went away for a few weeks or something that would be fine. But I cant do a long term, long distance relationship. I like sex. And uh no masterbation or phone sex is not sex. REAL sex. REAL touching. And I just need to see the person and be around them or Ill get bored. If I loved them that much I would go wherever they were or the other way around. If its not worth going to be with them, its not worth being in the relationship IMO.

 

[Tofu-N-Sprouts]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starseed13

...If its not worth going to be with them, its not worth being in the relationship IMO...

Well, how lucky for you that your life is so simple and uncomplicated. For many of us unfortunately, things just don't work that way.

Being apart is not my first choice either, but since that's the way things are, I'm certainly not going to give up the relationship!

The physical part is extremely important, without a doubt!!! But it's not all the relationship is based on after all. You should be able to appreciate the other aspects of the relationship that go beyond sex.

 

[GhostUser]

Well I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, including something like 7 months when I was in Paris and he was in Canada. And well... I'm pretty glad to have him living with me now. It was doable but certainly not always easy. Especially when we argued and made up, a few hugs would've been more than welcome...

Anyway it all worked out for the best

TheFirstBus says he agrees ^^

 

[TheFirstBus]

I agree with Rahkoon, haha. It certainly was not easy all the time but it worked out. Depends on the situation and people. For some it may work out for others not. It worked out for me and I am glad it did.

 

[meatless]

oh, that's cute. So did TheFirstBus move to France?