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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What's the best form of birth control after 50?<br><br>
Nudity<br><br>
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?<br><br>
45 lbs.<br><br>
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?<br><br>
45 minutes.<br><br>
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What's the fastest way to a man's heart?<br><br>
Through his chest with a sharp knife.<br><br>
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Why do men want to marry virgins?<br><br>
They can't stand criticism.<br><br>
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Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?<br><br>
Because those men already have boyfriends.<br><br>
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?<br><br>
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.<br><br>
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?<br><br>
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.<br><br>
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What do you call a smart blonde?<br><br>
A golden retriever.<br><br>
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Why does the bride always wear white?<br><br>
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and<br><br>
refrigerator.<br><br>
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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?<br><br>
The blonde, because she's 18<br><br>
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Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?<br><br>
Ask your mom.<br><br>
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How do you know when you're really ugly?<br><br>
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.<br><br>
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How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?<br><br>
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."<br><br>
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If Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, what do single guys have?<br><br>
Palm Sunday.<br><br>
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What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?<br><br>
Her navel.<br><br>
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What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?<br><br>
Bingo machine.<br><br>
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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?<br><br>
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.<br><br>
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Why did God create alcohol?<br><br>
So ugly people could have sex, too.<br><br>
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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?<br><br>
"Are you sure it's mine?"<br><br>
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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?<br><br>
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.<br><br>
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Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?<br><br>
Mace will do that to you.<br><br>
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Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?<br><br>
Everyone has the same DNA.<br><br>
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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?<br><br>
A speech impediment.<br><br>
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?<br><br>
Breasts don't have eyes.<br><br>
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What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?<br><br>
A pimp.<br><br>
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Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?<br><br>
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.<br><br>
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What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?<br><br>
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.<br><br>
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What's the Cuban National Anthem?<br><br>
Row, row, row your boat.<br><br>
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What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?<br><br>
A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****."
 

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Some old faves in there and some great new ones. I'll be forwarding these on at work next week. Thanks.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
np, my mom posted them on her site so i stole them.<br><br><br><br>
i like the BMW one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
oh i deleted one before posting them though cause i thought it was in bad taste
 
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