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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, I am new to the board. Currently I am a lacto ovo vegetarian. I don't really eat eggs or drink milk but cheese is my downfall. I am the only veg in my family and find it really hard sometimes. My husband and son are meat and potato people and since we are busy we wind up eating out alot. I try hard not to have my diet as an inconvenience to others and seem to wind up eating things with cheese a lot. Lately I have been feeling really guilty about eating dairy/ eggs but I am unsure how I can manage going vegan when I am surrounded by omnis. Btw I am not very good at cooking. My husband does not eat veggies so going to one of the few vegan resturaunts is not an option. Any advice for living with omnis? One of the other problems I have is my mil. She already acts annoyed that I do not eat meat when we go there. She puts meat in everything. If I tell her I am giving up all animal products she is going to make me feel guilty for Christmas. I don't mind bringing my own food but no matter what she is going to make comments, so what is a nice way to deal with unsupportive people? Any advice would be really appreciated.
 

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I'm lucky compared to many people on here. My husband won't give up meat but he is supportive, I make meals that can be adapted (add meat for him) and we eat most of our meals separately or in restaurants anyway due to our schedules. Most of the time with friends we go to a restaurant and no one notices what I order (I've been ordering vegetarian meals in restaurants for years anyway, once in a while I've volunteered that 'I'm trying to eat less meat' and no one really said much). But at an at home dinner people will notice - our family already knows I don't like turkey (never have, nothing to do with vegetarianism) so I can probably pass on that at Christmas without much comment and fortunately they don't put meat in anything else (butter in the vegetables, but I'm not trying to be vegan yet).
 

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generally, if my boyfriend wants meat, he cooks meat. if I'm not eating it, I shouldn't have to to touch carcass. if he doesn't want to cook it, then he gets what I'm eating. it really is that simple. that said, most of what I make is pretty easily adaptable.

when eating out, I hop online and check online menus of the places we're going - if they don't have anything that sounds edible, then I'll have a snack or something before we leave, and I'll just make something quick like a stirfry over rice when I get home. and remember, most places don't mind if you order a la carte, and you can make really good meals out of nothing but sides.
 

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I feel bad for those of you who do not have supportive partners, when my fiance was a veg-head and I ate meat I totally supported her and every meal where we ate together at home I totally ate what she ate just to show how much I love, respect and support her decisions
She is a great cook, me too, and cooking together for us is a way to share our thoughts and creativity...which eventually turned me int a veg-head
Have you tried making meat substitutes? They are super easy to make, try making some Boca veg burgers or smart deli veg-dogs with some Amy's spicy organic veg chilli on top, veg cheese, minced onions and some mustard with baked fries and let them try them and see what they are missing out on
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the replies. We are a family on the go a lot and unfortunately eat out more than I cook. My husband does not eat veggies so cooking is a challenge. He is a very picky eater and I can name everything he likes on one hand lol. My son is a little bit easier as one of his favorite things is salad. The problem for me is not when I cook because I don't mind making 2 different meals it's more the eating out. It's not so easy going to a steak place and finding something appropriate for me. I usually just order sides. I really wish their we're more vegan options in my area.
 

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I'm expecting my first challenge in a couple of days. It's our Saturday tradition to go to a (nice, not takeout) fish and chips place for lunch while we are out running errands. My husband loves that place (and is being very supportive otherwise so I don't want to deprive him of his weekly treat) and it's the only place conveniently located by the various stores we go to. But all they have are several different types of fish, shrimp, meat pies and chicken strips. I could get just chips I suppose - it wouldn't bother me that they are cooked in the same fat with the fish but I know some purists would say they aren't vegetarian. I don't think they even have a starter salad available. I'm not looking for 'permission' to eat fish, I'm sincere about giving up meat, but I'd like some advice from more experienced people about what to do?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
That is a tough one. When I know where I am going out to eat I try to see the menu before hand or if the menu is not available online, calling and asking is an option. Hopefully they at least have some steamed veggies.
 

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@mamacat, traditions can change. Think about how awkward he would feel eating his meal while you have fries. o_O

Could you suggest a "picnic lunch"? He gets his fish and chips to go and you can get something from elsewhere or pack from home?
If you're intent on going to the fish and chips place, do call ahead and see if you have other options than just chips for lunch. If you don't, make sure you eat at home first!
 

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My wife wasn't vegetarian but, she has never eaten much meat. I was usually the one who was the meat eater. Although, I always loved veggies too. Now both of us are vegetarian, pretty close to vegan. I just say vegetarian because we occasionally have some cheese on our food, like when it comes on a dish at a restaurant.

My advice would be to just calmly stand your ground. If your waiting for the approval of others you may be waiting forever.
 

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Thanks for the suggestions on my fish problem. It's actually a relatively upscale sit-down restaurant so the picnic thing (while I like the idea) wouldn't work. I checked on line and they have salad as part of a diet plate (grilled fish) so since that proves there are vegetables in the kitchen I'm going to try to get that salad and some chips. I wouldn't count on my chances of getting something special at a 'new' place, but we've been going there almost every week for 10-12 years so I hope they will co-operate rather than lose regular customers. It's the only restaurant I know of that doesn't have 'anything' veg*n on the menu whatsoever, so maybe they need to modernize!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baileyboo View Post

I try hard not to have my diet as an inconvenience to others and seem to wind up eating things with cheese a lot.
Can you describe a situation in which this happens? Is it because there's nothing else to eat, because you're giving in to social pressure or because you're giving into the temptation of the taste? When I was first cutting back on dairy I found it really hard to be around anyone eating pizza and would give in to the taste thing at first. But then I told my friends and family I was going vegan so even if I was around cheese I wasn't going to make an idiot of myself by eating it after I'd said that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baileyboo View Post

My husband does not eat veggies so going to one of the few vegan resturaunts is not an option.
That doesn't sound fair. Would he say "my wife does not eat meat, so going to a steakhouse is not an option"? Have you talked to your family about this problem and asked for some support?

Quote:
One of the other problems I have is my mil. She already acts annoyed that I do not eat meat when we go there. She puts meat in everything. If I tell her I am giving up all animal products she is going to make me feel guilty for Christmas. I don't mind bringing my own food but no matter what she is going to make comments, so what is a nice way to deal with unsupportive people?
Assuming you meant mom? I guess it depends on the comments, but I would express to her how important it is to you to follow your ethical convictions.
 

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^^ I'm going to a department lunch soon and I specifically asked that they go to 'any' restaurant with veg*n choices. There was no reason to do this since I know there are several veg*ns in my new department, but I said it so that I don't 'dare' not order something veg*n when I get there. I'm thinking of asking (getting back to my boring 'fish' problem) the restaurant to add something veg*n (from a purely business perspective, I wonder how many groups can't go there because one person out of 12 or 15 couldn't eat anything on the menu) - I'd feel like I have to order it if they actually listen to me!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Sometimes when we are at a resturaunt and I don't see anything I like then I cave and eat cheese. I caved and ate it tonight and immediately felt so guilt and of course sick since i have an intolerance to dairy I was doing so well eating at home. I guess I feel like it isn't fair for me to expect my husband to change his eating habits because I wasn't always a vegetarian. He dosent try new things and would never eat vegetarian( dosent even like pasta). My mother is really supportive and we always plan menus together.I am already going to make a vegan spinach dip for Christmas eve. My mother in law is another story. She makes me feel guilty for not eating meat and she puts meat in everything. We will be going there for Christmas dinner and I am not sure what I am going to be able to eat. If I ask her what the menu is I will get some snide comment and she will make me feel like its an imposition. I plan on making something and bringing it with me and hope I can bite my tongue when the comments start.
 

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So we went to the fish place today and I looked at the menu to be sure there wasn't any better choice than the salad (iceberg lettuce and a few tomato pieces) and chips, and said to my husband that I wanted to suggest they add a veg*n choice, He said "isn't fish vegetarian!" Then he said I should think about it until next week and rather than just say "would you ever think of putting something veg*n on the menu" give some examples of things that wouldn't require a lot of extra money for ingredients or rearranging their kitchen that I and what I think a lot of veg*n's would eat. I agree - the last thing I'd want to do is 'make' them add something and then have it be a soyburger that I can't eat! I'm thinking salad with extra veggies, fruit, nuts/seeds and a choice of cheese or not so vegans could eat it too. Or even just making the soup of the day veg*n so people could have that and the salad.
 
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