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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do any of you live alone/have lived alone/would live alone?<br><br><br><br>
I'm asking because I used to think it would be something I would like, but I think now I simply wouldn't be able to appreciate it. Being alone makes me so tense sometimes, even though I am pretty good at keeping myself entertained.<br><br><br><br>
For those who have experienced living alone, what would you say are the pros of it, and how do you make it 'work' for you i.e taking measues in avoiding loneliness? What do you dislike about it?<br><br><br><br>
I really enjoy the sharehousing thing for the moment but don't think it's something I would want to do until I move in with a partner or whatever happens, so am interested in others' perspectives on it.
 

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I adore living alone. Really adore it. I'm not someone who gets lonely or bored. I have friends, family and when all else fails, forums. I've lived alone for quite a number of years now and would not go back to sharing if I could in anyway avoid it.<br><br><br><br><b>Pros:</b><br><br>
You get to walk around naked<br><br>
You get to watch whatever you want on TV or DVD, all the time, every time.<br><br>
You get to leave dishes in the sink if you feel like it with no-one bitching about your mess, or have a sparkly clean house with no-one else to mess it up.<br><br>
You can make noise late at night and have all the lights on and not have to worry about keeping people up.<br><br>
People won't keep you up late at night by making noise and leaving all the lights on.<br><br>
You get to use the bathroom, kitchen, phone or whatever, whenever you like for as long as you like.<br><br>
You get to have or bar whatever you want in or from the kitchen.<br><br>
You have total say in who comes over and when.<br><br>
I could go on but you get the point.<br><br><br><br><b>Cons:</b><br><br>
It's more expensive. That's about it really.<br><br><br><br>
I'd definitely recommend living alone for at least a year or two before moving in with a partner, just to get to know yourself better if nothing else.
 

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I lived alone or effectively alone for many years. The loneliness was overwhelming at times, but there can be a value to it: helping you learn self-reliance, and getting a true, honest, stark sense of who you really are as a person. Living alone doesn't mean isolation, of course.
 

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Loneliness has nothing to do with being alone. At times I've felt lonelier in a room full of people than I have by myself.
 

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jAded, what an interesting thread idea. I'm actually doing a series on the topic.<br><br><br><br>
How many of you have lived alone for three years or more? Have your perceptions of the arrangement changed over time?<br><br><br><br>
Do people treat you differently than they treat those who have roomies, spouses or other live-in SOs?<br><br><br><br>
Are many of your friends married? Does this affect the way you interact with them socially?<br><br><br><br>
Those are just some questions I'm asking people. Certainly nothing people say here would be used in a story (we're a local paper, emphasis on the local), but it might help me generate some new and interesting questions.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>skylark</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
jAded, what an interesting thread idea. I'm actually doing a series on the topic.<br></div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
OK.<br><br><br><br><br><br><b>How many of you have lived alone for three years or more? Have your perceptions of the arrangement changed over time?</b><br><br><br><br>
I've lived alone for about 6 or 7 years. My perceptions have not changed, I loved it from day one.<br><br><br><br><b>Do people treat you differently than they treat those who have roomies, spouses or other live-in SOs?</b><br><br><br><br>
Not really, no. Though after a certain age if you are still living with flatmates and don't have your own place, some people seem to think that's a bit naff, I've noticed.<br><br><br><br><b>Are many of your friends married?</b> No legally marrieds, a few de factos, a few singles, some alone, some in share housing, some with their parents. I have a real mix of friends.<br><br><br><br><b>Does this affect the way you interact with them socially?</b><br><br><br><br>
No.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I've considered the character building aspect to living solo. I have travelled by myself, but when I think about it I was still constantly surrounded by people.<br><br><br><br>
I have my friends and a fairly good social life but have noticed the more time I spend being surrounded by others, the more I come to rely on the company of others and so it can be a shock when i have time by myself. It's the feeling a bit down and coming back to an empty home with no one to distract me which puts me off the most.<br><br><br><br>
Out of curiosity, how old were you all when you moved out alone for the first time?
 

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I am spamming this thread! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br><br><br>
I was 16 when I first moved out of home and into share housing. I was in my late 20s when I moved out of share housing to live alone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Oh, cool I must be psychic!<br><br><br><br>
I read a report of a study a while ago which said that women who live together are the least likely to feel lonely and people who do live alone are at the other end of the scale. I don't know if attitudes toward people who live alone contribute to this, but it seems they are beginning to be challenged.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Oh see, that supports my theory that a lot people aren't ready to live alone until they are older than 25 or so. I'm only 22 and am hoping that within the next maybe 5 years I'll be comfortable enough to live by myself.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Kiz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You get to walk around naked</div>
</div>
<br>
Doesn't everybody?<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">You can make noise late at night and have all the lights on and not have to worry about keeping people up.<br><br>
People won't keep you up late at night by making noise and leaving all the lights on.<br></div>
</div>
<br>
I have had those issues in the past.<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">You get to use the bathroom, kitchen, phone or whatever, whenever you like for as long as you like.</div>
</div>
<br>
I will never again live with someone else with a single bathroom. Just can't do it. I didn't go to college so I'd have to go outside at 1am to pee.
 

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Pros:<br><br>
you can emit weird noises without complaints<br><br>
Cons:<br><br>
you say "what kind of an a-hole would create this mess??" and then say "oh, it was me"
 

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I lived alone for 10 years. Not by choice. My live-in ex BF and I separated when I was 28. I was devastated. I could have gone back to live with my parents but that would have been a bit weird maybe at that age... so I tried it alone. It was hard at first (I was very depressed about the break-up) and it was hard by moments later on because I just didn't seem to find a new partner and not for lack of trying. But looking back now (15 years later) I find this period has shaped and enriched my life. It has given me self-sufficiency. It has also cured me of a rather bad case of codependence.<br><br>
I would say it is certainly worth trying, if you can manage financially. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. The man I live with now (who is also the father of my child) is definitely the last man I will ever live with. I know that if we split up or if I survive him, I would prefer not to share my house with a partner or even friend or roommate again. Having tried all sorts of arrangements (with or without a man, with & without my child) I also prefer to sleep alone...<br><br>
But maybe I am weird... a loner at heart ? It is true that I am never bored and I am not an anxious person so being alone was never frightening to me. Come to think of it though... I did have a cat (still have her, actually) so I was never really entirely alone ! Pets are great for that !
 

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I have never lived alone...I went from parents, to married, to three kids (who all moved out since) and now it's me and the hubster. I do cherish some of the alone time I get now, like when the hubster is working late or bowling. But I don't think I would like actually living alone for any period of time. I think I just got so used to always having 'someone' here that I'm not sure I would be comfortable completely on my own. Of course, if God forbid something were to happen and I had to, I'm sure I would adjust.<br><br><br><br>
As far as being independent and self-reliant, I can pretty much take care of myself since I ran the household, raised the kids with little help from the hubster except that he works hard at his job. I doubt that I could support myself financially unless I were able to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. After 33 years together you can incur some debt that is ok if you are together, but not necessarily as a single.
 

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I lived alone last year, and when I moved in with my boyfriend I was really torn because I liked living alone and having my own space and everything. I don't think I really got lonely... I had my cats and school and internship so it's not like I just sat around the house all day!!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>skylark</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
jAded, what an interesting thread idea. I'm actually doing a series on the topic.<br><br><br><br>
How many of you have lived alone for three years or more? Have your perceptions of the arrangement changed over time?<br><br><br><br>
Do people treat you differently than they treat those who have roomies, spouses or other live-in SOs?<br><br><br><br>
Are many of your friends married? Does this affect the way you interact with them socially?</div>
</div>
<br><br><br><br><br>
I've been living by myself since 1992 (coincidentally, that's the same time I went vegetarian, though the link wasn't conscious at the time). I've moved a few times in those years, and yes, there have been times when I would have preferred having a SO or DH around. Life just hasn't gone that way, I guess. I do wonder if I've become set in my ways, though. I enjoy the fact that I can go to bed when I'm tired, whether that's 5 pm or 11 pm. I am the only one I can blame for the mess around my house. I like my peace and quiet most of the time. I bought my own house 5 years ago - and that was both scary and empowering at the same time.<br><br><br><br>
As for Skylark's questions - living alone has become more comfortable as time has gone on, though it was pretty nice to begin with. I haven't noticed that anyone has treated me any differently. If I had, I would have written it off to being perpetually single, as opposed to living alone. I find the former is often more of a worry than the latter (though my mom gave that up after 2 of my sisters were in bad relationships at the same time). Most of my friends are married, and that does end up affecting what I do socially. I end up working around their schedules a lot and I do grumble to myself about having to make all of the compromises, do all of the travelling, etc. I am amazed at how few of my friends and sisters have actually managed to travel to see my house.<br><br><br><br>
But overall, most days, I'm OK/happy with this.
 

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Ive lived alone in the past and it was ok most of the time, better than a lot of share situations Ive lived in. But now, I wouldn't be interested in living by myself because I want to be with my partner, its much more fun and fulfilling.
 

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I live alone and I love it! I've lived with a boyfriend before, and with my parents, but never with a roommate.<br><br><br><br>
I've never felt lonely, sometimes bored, but never lonely. I don't see myself as being "alone" but living by myself. If you can see the difference.<br><br><br><br>
But then, I'm more of a solitary person and not a huge social butterfly.so living alone suits my personality. I like having my place as my own personal space where I don't have to share and can relax. I am currently single so there's no issues with a significant other.<br><br><br><br>
Even when I was little I constantly wanted to live alone claiming I was old enough and didn't need a babysitter. When I was in high school Mom went out of state to see her family and I begged to be allowed to stay by myself for the week rather than going to stay with Dad (my parents are divorced). I got to do that and I thought it was heaven.<br><br><br><br>
Personally, I wouldn't be happy having to share living space with anyone other than a significant other.
 

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I lived alone in a small rural community, and I enjoyed it, for the most part. I know I could do it again if I had to.<br><br><br><br>
Nowadays, I often live alone for days or weeks at a time because my husband usually works away from the area. I've filled up my life to the point where my husband and I actually have a moderately difficult transition when he comes home for any great period of time. It's going to be interesting to see how we end up working things out when he comes home full time after the baby is born.<br><br><br><br>
I eat what I want, when I want it. I watch whichever movies and TV shows I want, when I want to watch them. I don't have to wash as many clothes. I don't have to clean the house as often (I'm more tidy than he is).<br><br><br><br>
On the downside, I also sometimes have to handle administrative portions or our lives that I would prefer to leave up to him. I don't like to negotiate mortgage rates on our re-fi. I don't like to have to deal with the insurence company when we have a claim, etc. But it's been good for me to have to take care of some things, and I think I'm more self-reliant for the experience.<br><br><br><br>
Also, I miss him terribly when he isn't here, and we have a lot of fun together when he is home. I have a lot of selfish reasons for liking our current situation, but I would really prefer to have to learn to live with him full-time again. He's my best friend and the love of my life, even if he does make messes and is occasionally guilty of snoring.
 

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I'm married now, but I definitely miss living alone at times (sorry, hon!) There's something so independent and freeing about knowing you rely only on yourself.
 
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