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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just a silly story to share...

I am a teacher at a private preschool and I work with all ages, including infants. There is a little guy there (7 months old) who has been wearing clothing made specifically for girls. He is the cutest little guy... olive skin, black hair, big brown eyes. His parents are from India... maybe they just do not realize it is girl clothing or maybe they don't care? Anyway the other day he came to school wearing a lilac colored onesie with a dark purple tulip and a purple lacey ribbon/bow on the front. We thought "ok, so someone gave him a girls outfit and they figure they might as well use it." Plus his father brought him in so we thought maybe he just didn't pay attention (and the boy is the only child, there is no big sister). But then today he showed up wearing a somewhat frilly yellow outfit with little ribbons/bows on the front... and mom brought him in so we know she must've noticed how *pretty* he looked.

I just think it is funny. I can't wait to see what he will wear tomorrow. Anyone else cross-dress their kids?
 

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well, i am all about not typing based on gender and all that..however i would not put my son in what society determines as appropriate gender specific clothing. tho i have put my son in pink crap--at home. i have now thrree year old boy/girl twins. i had put my son in pinkish stuff around the house--all based upon what is clean--in public i would exercise more caution as i do not want him to be typed in that manner. now that they are older i do strive to dress them in a manner that is consistent with how boys and girls dress--according to the societal norms. not to say that i buck that--i just do not think that typing in any sort of manner is good
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
it is interesting about the gender stuff... i see nothing wrong with boys playing with "girl" toys and vice versa... in fact I think it is the only way to go and is totally healthy and should be encouraged! As far as gender roles in professions I don't see any. A boy can be in any field he chooses just as any girl can. The lace, "girly" colors, ribbons/bows, and flowery outfits on this little guy just threw me for a loop
I don't think we should assume that all truck drivers and dumptruck operators are men (because of course that is not true) but at the same time I don't think I would dress my infant daughter in a t-shirt with a dumptruck picture on it (in public!- at home I don't care). I just wonder if his parents bought the feminine looking clothes or if they were gifts
 

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Maybe you are jumping to conlusions. Maybe it is boys' clothing, in India? Maybe therefore his parents, from India, are dressing him boys' clothing? What do his parents wear?
 

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my son is six, he has been thoroughly indoctrinated into the supposed differences between the genders now, despite my best intentions. he wouldn't wear girl's clothing if you paid him in power rangers and jellybeans! but i remember quite clearly not even two years ago how he asked me to buy him a sundress at the local thrift store and i did, and he wore with pride. ahhh, those were the days.

my daughter is almost two. she wears a lot of her brother's hand-me-downs. we cut her hair short, too. everyone thinks she's a boy. i couldn't give a flying fart. i hope my kids grow up feeling free and confident enough to wear whatever they like whenever they want. i don't ever want either of them to think they can't DO something because of their gender. that's dumb.
 

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also, i am always especially amused to see the lengths people will go to to make sure their INFANTS are dressed in "appropriate" clothing for their genders...

come on folks! they are BABIES! gender means nothing at that age, except for whether they spray your face, or your tummy, with pee, when you're changing them.
 

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aahhhhh kreeli- i knew you would respond!!!!! yes-- i do not conform, in many ways--yet i, of course support it all--tho kreeli--you are up for debate in amny foruns---tho i do support the things you say...
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by smedley

aahhhhh kreeli- i knew you would respond!!!!! yes-- i do not conform, in many ways--yet i, of course support it all--tho kreeli--you are up for debate in amny foruns---tho i do support the things you say...
heh. thanks....i think?

i am up for debate in amny foruns? what's that mean?
 

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My BF's oldest is very attached to his accidently-dyed white now pink shorts.

The kids are allowed to dress themselves and they choose whatever they want to wear. Jacob wore those stupid shorts with a bright green shirt to school 3 days in a row LOL

I do believe there are differences between men and women. We have basically the same parts, but the wiring is different. Still, things like colour is so funny. There was a time when men wore the same pasley colours as women and as much makeup, too!

Don't worry, Kreeli. In a few decades, we'll find a new defination of masculine and feminine. By then, your boy will be a social outcast if he does not wear a sundress
 

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There does seem to be a marked difference when it comes to girls with boyish clothes and boys with girlish clothes though. When I was a wee lass my mother (a woman who wouldn't wear a dress, jewerly or make-up if you paid her in squirrel knick-knacks and ice cream
) dressed me in jeans and brown T-shirts, and I always had short hair. People mistook me for a boy at times, but it was never a problem. As an adult, I take a little from both camps when it comes to aesthetics.

It seems that for boys, though, that the rules are a little more stringent. That's a drag and it shouldn't be that way. I doubt that the couple who's child comes to your pre-school are out to make a major social statement, but if it works, then that's cool. Any change that eradicates stupid gender biases is always good. How the heck did pink means girl, blue means boy ever evolve anyway?

Now, let all of us women folk think of hot, sexy red-haired guys in kilts and rethink this whole dressing issue
.
 

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BTW, I used to date a Japanese guy who wore skirts (kilts sometimes). He was muy bonito and never caught any flack from anyone for his sartorial choices. Would that the world could work so.
 

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I've had some experience working with Indian parents, and have heard even more stories from the teachers I work with (we had a large Indian population at my old school). Little boys in India are really treated like princes. They are TOTALLY babied and fussed over. It's not like here where we teach boys to be tough and not to cry and to wear dark colors and to not have anything frilly or feminine even from babyhood. It's a different culture. Boys are revered and are dressed in kind. Western Girls clothes are much more fancy, and 'royal' than boys...Western boys just wear any old thing. So it could be she is showing off how proud she is of her 'pretty boy.'

I just wanted to post about this...it is a cultural difference and something that we don't totally understand. It's not cross dressing in the Indian context of parenting...just in ours.

B
 

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Btw, a funny sidenote. I used to dress Madison when she was a baby in jeans and t-shirts because when I was little my Mom dressed me in the most uncomfortable get-ups imaginable and I hated it. First time my free will kicked in I was dressing in appropriate tom-boy fashion.

Of course as soon as my daughter's free will kicked in she was dressing in pink and FANCY.
 

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kreeli--that is many--my typing is seriously lacking!! and it is a compliment as i love your posts and your thoughts!!
 

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Yep, this is true in my experience! My best friend growing up was from Bombay. Her little brother was dressed in frilly blouses and fuzzy socks. As soon as the kid can walk they don't "decorate" them anymore. Some also shave thier kids head to promote a thick head of hair. It also perplexes me that some people go out of thier way to make sure thier offspring is gender correct. Who cares? they are probably going to barf or sh*t on themselves anyway.

Quote:
Originally posted by bethanie

I've had some experience working with Indian parents, and have heard even more stories from the teachers I work with (we had a large Indian population at my old school). Little boys in India are really treated like princes. They are TOTALLY babied and fussed over. It's not like here where we teach boys to be tough and not to cry and to wear dark colors and to not have anything frilly or feminine even from babyhood. It's a different culture. Boys are revered and are dressed in kind. Western Girls clothes are much more fancy, and 'royal' than boys...Western boys just wear any old thing. So it could be she is showing off how proud she is of her 'pretty boy.'

I just wanted to post about this...it is a cultural difference and something that we don't totally understand. It's not cross dressing in the Indian context of parenting...just in ours.

B
 

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Indian culture is more relaxed in its gender roles than what we're used to in north america. they recognize a third gender (often referred to as berdache) which is essentially men (biologically) who dress in womens clothing. they have special roles regarding child care and spirituality.

xoxo
 

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ultimately, kids find those gender rolls at school. And i agree, it is much stricter for boys. The Boy Code is a tough one--one which forces them away from a HUGE part of their true natures: emotional connection/communication.
 
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