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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I didn't know where to post this... so I posted it here<br><br>
*major rant*<br><br><br><br>
Ok, well the past 6 months or so, I've been at an ultimate low/high. BUT, a couple weeks ago my bro told me that he doesn't agree w/my lifestyle-because all I do is drink & sleep around. At first I was upset at what he thought... then a few nights ago I ran out to the store, & told my dad I had to go into town & would be right back... he said "yeah right, who are you meeting?" -I've never hid from him where I go or what I'm doing (i'm 23 BTW-long story as to why I'm staying at my dad's right now-but I don't need to tell him where I'm going w/MY car, but I do because he's one of my best friends/respect) Then when my bro, my best friend and I went out this wkend, my dad said "Don't bring anybody home w/you"... My dad's a real laid back guy, so this was kinda like, wow, my dad sees it AND said something about it-that means something...<br><br>
Anyway, I'm trying to get my life on track, I'm going to be moving in w/my friend so I can finally get a job (there's none available here ever) I'm pursuing a relationship w/someone I like and who likes me-I just don't know how to be sober or if I can be. Since my mom's funeral (Oct. 14, 2005) I've only not drank for maybe 10 days-and not in a row. Since my dad & bro said what they did, I now realize how pathetic that is. I'm already gonna cut off my "friends w/benefits" due to the potential relationship & I don't wanna mess that up... I just don't know how to quit drinking and face reality & deal with it. So what I'm wondering is, anyone been in a similar situation? How did you deal? Any advice? I hate this, because I can't help anyone anymore... I'm too concentrated on my own problems & there's people who need me, I just can't do it... I've been to psychologists since I was like 13, it doesn't help so far. I need to learn how to deal w/my life sober and fix my many problems & I don't know how.<br><br>
Sorry I'm so ranty... I just can't go to anyone I normally would go to... they have their own problems... & I'm just losing it big time...
 

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MZC - admitting/acknowledging that there could be a problem is a HUGE first step. It really is. Now that you've acknowledged it you can do something about it. If I were you, I'd start with an AA meeting. There you will definitely find people who have been in similar situations and who have and are working on being sober. You'll get a lot of help there.<br><br><br><br>
Facing reality isn't easy for a lot of people, and we all find ways to escape from it in various forms. Some people meditate, others do extreme sports, some people lose themselves in music or books, and others keep themselves busy with destructive behaviors. I've found that journaling is very healing and helpful to me. It lets you brainstorm through possibilities, get out what's bothering you and what's good about your life. It lets you plan and put your dreams on paper and helps you work through issues - anger, sorrow, happiness, everything. I can't claim that it works well for everyone, but it has worked well for me.<br><br><br><br>
I hope you find the right combination for you!
 

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{{{{{MZC}}}}}<br><br><br><br>
Very brave of you to recognize the problem !<br><br><br><br>
What has helped me - although my problems were probably not as deep-rooted as yours seem to be, I was in quite a self-created state for years after my separation - was (besides working, which I've always managed to do), getting back in touch with nature. I took up horseriding and moved into a ground-floor apartment with a garden. I still had spells of the "old" escapist behavior, but they lessened over time. Try to love yourself and respect yourself. Respect for yourself will automatically lead to "healthier" behaviour. The unconditional love of a pet will also help.<br><br><br><br>
I also second the idea of getting help, through AA or any other system... Everyone needs someone to lean on.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck !
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
TY all for the advice & good words.<br><br><br><br>
I've thought about AA or something similar... right now I've got pretty limited resources as to meetings like that-something I gotta look into. When I move it'll be to a bigger place, so I'm sure there will be lots more options then so I'll be able to find something that will work for me.<br><br><br><br>
I also like the idea of finding a hobby/something to replace my destructive habits. Finding out what though is gonna be the tricky part, but I'm sure I'll find something. I know writing helps, It's been awhile since I've journaled & wrote poetry, so that's definitely something I should start doing again. I just need the motivation. Exercising on a regular basis would probably help my head relax a little and take away some of my anxiety.<br><br><br><br>
Anyway, thanks again to you all that replied! I appreciate it!!!
 

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This poem was written by my friend Violet Moodswing. She suffered addictions to heroin and alcohol and has now been clean for several years. I hope you can find some light in her words.<br><br><br><br>
Tear Cup Moon<br><br><br><br><br><br>
When the darkness is it's blackest<br><br><br><br>
And the dawn can't come too soon<br><br><br><br>
Dry your eyes by the healing light<br><br><br><br>
Of the simple tear cup moon.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Thru addiction or contradiction<br><br><br><br>
You can survive the hells and highs.<br><br><br><br>
Reach inside and find the hero<br><br><br><br>
That dreams beyond the lies.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
When you've traveled thru the underworld<br><br><br><br>
Thru the midnight of your soul<br><br><br><br>
Where flames of passion danced away<br><br><br><br>
On ships of cold and stone.<br><br><br><br><br><br>
So when the universe consumes you<br><br><br><br>
And your rainbow turns to dust<br><br><br><br>
Look into the blurred horizon<br><br><br><br>
To sift the rubies from the rust.
 
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with regards to AA- if you call the helpline (look in your yellow pages for the number), they'll tell you when and where your closest meeting is, and i bet you'd be suprised how many meetings near to you there are- there are some in teeny tiny towns and villages near me. if you can't get to a meeting right away, you can still use the helpline, its good to know that you can always pick up the phone and talk to someone who has been there and got through it.<br><br><br><br>
i've found that AA attendees are also really helpful with regards to getting you to meetings and back, if transport is a problem- one of my relatives who attends meetings regularly, picks up 3 other people on the way.
 

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Another thought. I think balance in life rests on 3 areas :<br><br><br><br>
physical, intellectual and emotional/spiritual wellbeing...<br><br><br><br>
you can start by strengthening one of these areas (pick the one that seems easiest to you) and it will almost automatically help you work on the other areas as well.<br><br><br><br>
Example:<br><br><br><br>
physical: start some sports activity, could also be singing/joining a choir (supposed to be good for breathing technique)<br><br><br><br>
intellectual: take a class, join a book club, blog/write, ...<br><br><br><br>
emotional/spiritual: tackle your addiction(s) or dependencies, revive your religious attendance,...<br><br><br><br>
Hugs !
 

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I can't offer any practical advice. I'm not going to even try. I'm just going to write about myself.<br><br><br><br>
I've been chronically "depressed" since my late teens, really. I was drinking (alone, miserable) for pretty much two years straight. In clubs, I'd get totally hammered/dysfunctional before others had even taken their coats off... I haven't stopped. But it's much rarer (now it's maybe three or four times a year rather than a week). How did I 'stop'? I just got bored of being wasted every night.<br><br><br><br>
I've lost one girlfriend after the next, because although I might seem 'just' an extremely shy guy, I was/am actually completely nuts. I actively hate myself and my life (I won't detail my feelings too much becuase I'll be banned).<br><br><br><br>
Nothing has changed. The drink is lasting longing, but ... . I don't want to be here and I don't see a future worth having. I'll struggle on, of course, but I don't know how to sort this mess of a life out. I want to change, but I don't know what the heck to do. I'm drifting aimlessly, going nowhere, and I just feel 'trapped'.<br><br><br><br>
That's the worst thing, I think, knowing that there is a problem but because that problem is ME feeling totally powerless to 'escape': for how can I break free when the prison is myslef, my own weaknesses, flaws, troubles?<br><br><br><br>
There is much thatI could say about me, but this song sums it up (I'm always happy to write about my problems, but I've outstayed my welcome in this post)<br><br><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwlKZSUWCQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwlKZSUWCQ</a><br><br><br><br>
The only real advice I have would be the keep trying and look on the "bright side". I know how easy it is to slide into a "black mist" where negative thought breeds negative though, and everything just gets darker
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>lachry</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I can't offer any practical advice. I'm not going to even try. I'm just going to write about myself.<br><br><br><br>
I've been chronically "depressed" since my late teens, really. I was drinking (alone, miserable) for pretty much two years straight. In clubs, I'd get totally hammered/dysfunctional before others had even taken their coats off... I haven't stopped. But it's much rarer (now it's maybe three or four times a year rather than a week). How did I 'stop'? I just got bored of being wasted every night.<br><br><br><br>
I've lost one girlfriend after the next, because although I might seem 'just' an extremely shy guy, I was/am actually completely nuts. I actively hate myself and my life (I won't detail my feelings too much becuase I'll be banned).<br><br><br><br>
Nothing has changed. The drink is lasting longing, but ... . I don't want to be here and I don't see a future worth having. I'll struggle on, of course, but I don't know how to sort this mess of a life out. I want to change, but I don't know what the heck to do. I'm drifting aimlessly, going nowhere, and I just feel 'trapped'.<br><br><br><br>
That's the worst thing, I think, knowing that there is a problem but because that problem is ME feeling totally powerless to 'escape': for how can I break free when the prison is myslef, my own weaknesses, flaws, troubles?<br><br><br><br>
There is much thatI could say about me, but this song sums it up (I'm always happy to write about my problems, but I've outstayed my welcome in this post)<br><br><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwlKZSUWCQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwlKZSUWCQ</a><br><br><br><br>
The only real advice I have would be the keep trying and look on the "bright side". I know how easy it is to slide into a "black mist" where negative thought breeds negative though, and everything just gets darker</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
TY for sharing some of your life experience... I can relate to quite a few things... and BTW if you ever need to PM me, go for it. & Thanks again to everyone who's wrote... things have gotten so much better and at the same time so much worse. I'm just all over the place... & there's a new thing that's come up.. & it sucks because my dad is so disappointed in me because of the possibility & that really stings. But I just need to suck it up and deal & everything and get my stuff together, whatever it takes. Sorry, I'm kinda outta it... just wanted to say TY though
 
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