Do you ever wake up and you know you have to study but you really dont feel like it? I had one of those days today. I am in the middle of my exam block, and I have 2 of my hardest exams both tomorrow. All day I forced myself to study, and it felt like I was smashing my head repeatedly into a brick wall.
I am so dead, because I was not motivated all day and that is not good when studying as far as I know.
I cannot believe it was today of all days where I just had to roll out of bed thinking oh TV sounds good, so does swimming and netball and fictional books and the internet and the movies and my friends and then I had to study all day. Im not even sure how much got through in the end, I am so exhausted. Smashing your head into a brick wall repeatedly will do that to a person. I am sooo damn mad at myself for being, umm, well, ME!!!!
And the worst of it is that nobody cares that I have a migrane and Im exhausted and that Im going to fail. I know, why should they? But it would have been nice if somebody could say, gee you are working hard so heres a little something instead of being so wrapped up in their own bloody worlds that they dont notice and instead they come into the room where I am studying and play podcasts at full volume so they drive me out.
Sorry about this rant at myself and everybody around me. I just have to get it all out. And NOBODY say that people are worse off than me, I know that already and it doesn't make me feel any better because in the long run my parents are still going to give me that dissapointed look when I fail and say: 'oh, Isie, we give you so much and all we ask in return is that you do your best at school. This is not your best...'

I cannot believe it was today of all days where I just had to roll out of bed thinking oh TV sounds good, so does swimming and netball and fictional books and the internet and the movies and my friends and then I had to study all day. Im not even sure how much got through in the end, I am so exhausted. Smashing your head into a brick wall repeatedly will do that to a person. I am sooo damn mad at myself for being, umm, well, ME!!!!


Sorry about this rant at myself and everybody around me. I just have to get it all out. And NOBODY say that people are worse off than me, I know that already and it doesn't make me feel any better because in the long run my parents are still going to give me that dissapointed look when I fail and say: 'oh, Isie, we give you so much and all we ask in return is that you do your best at school. This is not your best...'