[Emmio]

A sequel to my earlier problem.

So, my friend "broke up" with me. Has anyone else here had any friend break ups? Feel free to share.

This morning at school I texted her asking if she knew where all our classmates are (turned out I went to school 2 hours too early lol). I didn't know that she wasn't at school because she was supposed to go to practical training later that day. She got really mad because my text message woke her up. I said I'm sorry but she didn't care. I was tired of getting constantly barked at and being on my toes all the time so I got a little mad too and said that maybe she should have put the phone on vibrate. She said that I'm too sensitive and whiny (what, me?), and that she hates the way I talk. She also said that I have no personality. That came out of nowhere. I have tried to be nice and pleasant around her so she wouldn't get mad at me all the time. There even was a time when she was giving me silent treatment for a week for no reason, and I acted like I didn't care because I didn't want to encourage her. I actually didn't care. I've been too nice to her, and I see that now. She also said she didn't want me to participate in our group projects, but apparently she hadn't had courage to tell me in person. We are halfway through 3 projects and now she tells me.

After many text messages her last one said: "I'm so glad that I only have to see you for 1 week before school ends because I can't take this anymore. We are no longer friends." Yeah, over a text message. As if it already wasn't stupid enough. I was angry enough to reply "yay" which I kinda regret. I thought we would have tried to work it out because it's a little dumb to break up because of one rather ridiculous fight.

Frankly, I feel relieved. If she wouldn't have said it, I would have. Sooner or later. I skipped a few classes, came home and cried. We have been friends for 1 and a half year. The last six months haven't been so great and there has been many fights, so I should feel good because she was a real buttwipe. But I'm really sad and keep thinking about all the good times we had. At first I was furious and tried to come up with some insult, but when I calmed down I started to feel bad. I was about to call her and say I'm sorry but I'm glad that I didn't do it. This time I've really had it, and I won't be the one who comes crawling back.

Anyway, any tips? This is new for me since I have never had any break ups. Is there something I could do to feel better? I have a feeling that there is going to be another week of silent treatment.

 

[kasandra]

Hi You

Break Ups like you will find out is never nice. Whether it was time to move on or not. From your mail I get the idea your girlfriend felt a bit smothered? Did you base your assistance on seeing her and being with her? Which is just normal but can also become a bit unhealthy?

You know the first cut is the deepest.

My advice would be NOT to text or message her at all. To try and move on as hard as it may be.

Feel all the emotions and feelings of the break up. Cry, Shout, Crawl, Role on the Floor - Anything you have to do.

Time will heal the loss or pain you might feel.

Keep posting here ... Talking and asking for advice from peers usually helps.

Sorry I can never really write what I mean.

Hope you get what I am saying - know other readers on this forum does give great expressions.

Learn from the relationship and move on.

If she did take you for granted then it would be her loss.

 

[ChiKat]

It doesn't sound like she was a good friend anyways...her loss!

 

[Floridaisa]

she seems like an ass. it is her loss.
i've dumped a few people. only one did i make it clear why. cus she was an ass.

 

[Spoonerism]

I've had a couple of friends turn on me, so I know what it's like. They were kind of jerks to begin with, and I really only thought they were my friends. I don't really have any advice other than to just forget about that girl. You don't need someone like that in your life. Maybe some day she'll realize what a huge jerk she was and apologize to you. Even if she doesn't, you're better off not being around someone that negative and critical. I mean, what's the point in being "friends" with someone if she's going to put you down all the time?

 

[imdead-goaway]

Back in High school, my best friend was a lesbian... (I'm a guy).
Met when I was a Sophomore, and she was a Senior. We were both coming out of a heartbreak when we got to know each other, and so I guess we were both pretty vulnerable... in any case, we made a deal - she got to shave my face, I got to make out with her.
Pretty damn awesome. For the rest of that year, we pretended to be together, because everyone thought we were, and we'd kiss in front of people, so on and so on.
Aside from that, we hung out all the time. And I mean, all the time. Everyday. Never been able to do that with anyone else, but it worked between us. I would rub her back all day, and, in return, I got to have my arm around this gorgeous chick. Also, our personalities clicked really well.
So, two years later, some sh** starts happening... she sees other people, and I had major jealousy problems at the time... she was going to leave for the air force... we started getting distant.... when she got into drugs, and started lying to me, I told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Honestly, I was miserable for months afterwards.

Then, two years later (at which point, she was living at a military base in Texas) we kind of started talking again... she came home on leave that summer for two weeks and, well, everything was kind of fixed. We had lunch in our old places, called each other by our old pet names, and when she left, we had one of those long, dramatic, "see you next summer" moments.

I think the point of it all is that, if they're really a good friend, sometimes you need a break from each other, so you can grow separately. There's a point at which you stifle one another, and at least one of you will get frustrated. But once the arguments are so far in the past that they're nothing but silly, you can rebuild the bridges, and get to know each other again.