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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband is a true Italian, his family has macaroni and Sunday dinner every week. His dad has gold chains and a velour track suit. You get the idea....<br><br>
His great grandmother made sauce...his grandmother made sauce.....His mother and sister make the same sauce.....<br><br>
So its been explained to me that at a certain point I will be handed the recipe and trusted with it.<br><br>
When that time comes, I will be accompanying her in the kitchen as she teaches me to make it and I will cook it for the whole family and we all sit down and enjoy it. This is their family's tradition and I am to pass it to my daughter as well.<br><br>
So - ummmm. I'm pretty sure there is a massive amount of meat in it.<br><br>
Any ideas how I WON'T offend everyone in the entire family when the time comes?
 

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just explain and stick to your guns. Its hard but my mom has handed down lots of my grandma's recipes (we are Jewish so we EAT) and I have veganized them with no issues. Good luck!!
 

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You might be surprised, 'making sauce' usually just means the red sauce aka marinara like with tomatoes garlic spices and herbs. if they are jarring it (which is super traditional and what usually entails "making sauce") the meat is added later when the sauce is used to cook a meal. the sauce is like the backbone to most of the entree's in rustic italian cooking.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I know a giant pork chop looking bone is removed at the end and there are meatballs. She freezes her sauce.<br>
I wasn't vegan when I was all excited that she told me she was passing down the recipe to me. But now I am and I think she has plans to do it near the holidays this year. I don't want to make her upset, but I'm not touching a pork bone! I feel awful. I have been losing sleep over this since I remembered about this the other day.<br><br>
My husband is no help- he shrugs his shoulders and says that he doesn't think its a big deal if I make the sauce for one night, but I don't have to eat it.
 

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If you are uncomfortable doing it, don't do it! Or, ask to write down the recipe/follow along so you can veganize it later.
 

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OMG...I think I am related to your husband! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> Macaroni? I haven't heard pasta called that in ages! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> The only discrepancy is we never called sauce, sauce...it was gravy!<br><br>
But seriously, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes...this is a tough one. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> I do agree that you should just be honest from the get go. Is there someone else in the family that they can pass this tradition onto, other than yourself? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br>
Actually, this is the year 2011...I say pass the tradition of making the sauce onto your husband!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/idea2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":idea:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>karenlovessnow</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2977474"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Actually, this is the year 2011...I say pass the tradition of making the sauce onto your husband!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/idea2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":idea:"></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> This was going to be my suggestion. Us men can cook too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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If they know you're vegan, maybe they don't expect you to make the sauce anymore. If they know, but still expect you to make the sauce, then they have control issues. You are not bound by their traditions.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Good idea! I think I WILL have him make it! I hope it goes over well, I still think she will act like I am disowning her.<br><br>
I guess I'm going to have to face some of these scenarios in my future. I never really thought about it until now. I make Thanksgiving dinner complete with Turkey every year and my entire family comes over because I am the best cook in my family and everyone helps out bringing a side dish. I haven't given that thought either. Obviously I'm not cooking a Turkey- nobody will want to come over for Thanksgiving.<br><br>
I guess there is tradition and family stuff wound tightly in meat related things- weird how you never notice it until you cut it out from your life.<br>
Oh and karenlovesnow- they call it gravy sometimes too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>karenlovessnow</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2977474"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
OMG...I think I am related to your husband! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"> Macaroni? I haven't heard pasta called that in ages! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> The only discrepancy is <b>we never called sauce, sauce...it was gravy!</b></div>
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Yep. That's old-school, right there.<br><br>
I had a similar-ish situation when I went vegetarian years ago. I had to stop eating my family's recipe-handed-down-for-generations-consumed-at-every-holiday-ever-throughout-my-entire-life mostaccioli. My family was cool about it, though. I was super sad. Still am. It was my favorite food in the world, and it has a lifetime's worth of memories attached to it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>karenlovessnow</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2977474"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Actually, this is the year 2011...I say pass the tradition of making the sauce onto your husband!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/idea2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":idea:"></div>
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THIS!! Get your husand in the kitchen!!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mollycakes</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2977379"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
My husband is a true Italian, his family has macaroni and Sunday dinner every week. His dad has gold chains and a velour track suit. You get the idea....<br></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"> Funny. Good luck with your dilemma, I agree with previous poster - - get your husband to cook it! Although if they are the "true" Italians as you say they are...well, then your husband will be inside watching football while the ladies do the cooking!
 

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My family is entirely Italian... luckily they rarely ever put meat in their sauce. Anywho, I would just be up front and tell them you don't cook/eat meat, and just cook along with them, only leave out the meat parts. My Italian family has a hard time understanding the concept of no meat, and constantly offer me cheese, milk, and eggs, so long as they're organic because they really just don't get veganism (they're from the back country of Italy and lived on farms and the such) but they respect my choices and always make sure I can have pasta and sauce at get togethers. But just be up front and polite, I think spending time in the kitchen cooking with family is more important than putting some meat in sauce... :p
 

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I'm not sure how you can get around telling them, unless you want to continue eating meat when you are with his family just for the sake of not offending anyone. I guess you just need to consider whether you might want to see how the sauce is made, with meat, in order for you to later veganize it, or whether you want to ask her to make a veggie version (not the family recipe exactly, but still could be quite good), or if you want to forgo the whole thing.<br><br>
Just be kind and polite, and let them know you still want to spend time with them even if you aren't eating the same thing as everyone else. Who knows, they might surprise you..!
 

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I would take the recipe and veganize it. It's really tough, because family recipes are a source of great pride for Italians. I've veg*nized several of my grandmother's recipes with great results. I agree that your husband should also learn how to make the sauce, but if his family is very old-school they will want you to learn the recipe as well regardless.
 

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If your husband is Italian I'd think he'd be in the kitchen every night cooking and showing everyone how it's supposed to be done. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"> So yes, I recommend having him take over the sauce tradition.<br><br>
My initial suggestion, however, was to add vegan meat substitute, such as Lightlife Smart Ground or another brand you might like. There are lots of vegan meat substitutes out there, some of them designed specifically to add to pasta sauce.
 

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I have mentioned this before on here, I was chatting once to an omni guy online and I said I had made pasta with tomato sauce and he kept going on and on about how I *had* to try making it with pork bones and pork fat, he said it was a traditional family thing of his, and I had to keep saying "no no, I am happy with my recipe" and he went on and on about it, it was really awkward, I wished I had mentioned I was vegetarian in the first instance but I dont just announce it all the time, and then it got increasingly awkward... anyway I feel for you.<br><br>
The hubby's gran should understand that no meat means no meat. She will come around eventually and then she may even start making veg things for you, my grandmother makes me stuff from time to time, ie potato curries, fritters etc.
 

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I'd combine several of the above approaches. Tell her exactly what you would and wouldn't be willing to do, and tell her that she can make the decision from among the available options, unless she doesn't care among the available options. You would show that you're still trying to be flexible and accommodating, within certain parameters. For example: "I would be willing to take a look at the sauce recipe and come up with a vegan version. I would be willing to talk to my husband about <i>him</i> cooking the family sauce. I would <i>not</i> be willing to make meat-based sauce. If you have other ideas, go ahead and bounce them off of me."<br><br>
I think bringing nationality into it is unnecessary. Omnis with control issues can be found among all nations and kingdoms. Even speaking relatively, Italians don't eat that an especially large amount of meat compared to, say, Spanish or Mongols, and plenty of food especially in Southern Italy is predominantly, albeit not entirely, plant based. Leonardo da Vinci was an Italian and vegetarian, and Francis d'Assisi was an Italian and early animal welfarist. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegetarianism_by_country#Italy" target="_blank">Italy may have the highest rate of vegetarianism in the EU.</a> I'm not of Italian background myself, but I can't see any reason Italian background per se (as opposed to some sexist assumptions about who should make sauce and a touch of omni false-entitlement.) is at fault here.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Idhan</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2978387"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'd combine several of the above approaches. Tell her exactly what you would and wouldn't be willing to do, and tell her that she can make the decision from among the available options, unless she doesn't care among the available options. You would show that you're still trying to be flexible and accommodating, within certain parameters. For example: "I would be willing to take a look at the sauce recipe and come up with a vegan version. I would be willing to talk to my husband about <i>him</i> cooking the family sauce. I would <i>not</i> be willing to make meat-based sauce. If you have other ideas, go ahead and bounce them off of me."</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> This is what I would do as well.
 
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