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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You're up at 4:30am, can't even finish a third beer, feel it necessary to chain smoke and are watching "Sheena" (mega bad cheesy movie) on TV to cope.

When have you just known you've hit bottom?
 

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I stop eating and start watching four episodes of Queer as Folk a day. In the past three weeks, I've lost 20 pounds and reeeally boned up on gay trivia.
 

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Ah, sounds like you're not feeling too good. I've been like that before, and it's nasty. The hard thing is three beers is just nough so you aren't yourself, but not enough so that you leave all your troubles behind, so you're rendered completely clueless.

And I've lost count of all the cheesy movies I've watched that early in the morning.

Hope you start feeling better soon!
 

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AWWWW Terrafae.. i wish i could give you hug.. i love you, sister..

when i hit bottom.. i become silent and non responsive to the world.
 

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I'm sorry Terra.

You will rise above this.

I know I've hit bottom when I have no tears left to cry and no energy left to fight. When all I want to do is sleep so that I don't have to be strong - when I don't have to be anything.
 

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I've never hit so bad that I'd smoke, so it must be really bad!


Seriously, though. Hang in there. A lot of people obviously care about you. I don't know exactly what's going on, but I've been in very dark places before, and I know that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. It starts making itself visible as soon as you choose to see it for yourself.

Good luck and best,

epski
 

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Hey, I hope things get better for you soon... I'm sure they will.

Goodness knows i've hit some low points myself lately .. but then, before i knew it, i found reason to be happy and full of life again.

*hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Erin_Sword2Sky

I'm sorry Terra.

You will rise above this.

I know I've hit bottom when I have no tears left to cry and no energy left to fight. When all I want to do is sleep so that I don't have to be strong - when I don't have to be anything.
Yup, doing that one too.
 

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All the best Terrafae.... Perhaps think of how you or me or whomever like us can help preserve the forests in Alaska where you live and then if supposing you have the energy, you can ride on out these blues and find where your spirit lyes.
In saying that I would like to visit Alaska you know... and if I am right I think you have a thread on preserving what presumably little remains of the forest up there(?), so you in particular living there would do yourself proud (or if not doing so already) to aim in keeping Alaska wild as opposed to exploited, to help feel better in yourself & and purposes of which play a part in making you

feel a whole person again, and generally be more able to feel good about yourself!!... (just a suggestion).
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by terrafae

Yup, doing that one too.
You know how anti-hug I am. So I obviously care about you quite a bit.

*hugs*


There is strength inside of you. Find it, cling to it and ride it the hell out of the pain. You may get close to giving up but NEVER give in completely. Nothing can break you if you are not willing to let it.

Take a few moments to breathe. Hear nothing but the beating of your heart. Allow the sound to get louder in your mind. Feel it. Imagine it as something powerful - the beating of tribal drums, the stampeding of wild horses breaking free, the thundering of a storm. Now join yourself with it. Feel yourself merge with that image. All the strength you will ever need is in the beating of your heart. You don't need strength because you ARE strength. You can overcome anything. F**k anything that tries making you think otherwise. You will conquer the hurt. You are already conquering it. You have reasons to fight, so lift your head, get to your feet and reclaim yourself. It is alright to feel pain and sorrow for that which is waning, but don't let it take over. That power is yours.
 

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I know how you feel. I've felt a lot like this lately.

My husband lost his job, work is slow (I get commission-pay, so that's bad), I've been extremely homesick, my grandmother died a couple of months ago, my brother's dog (which I loved like crazy) died last week. I have crazy dreams at night which makes even sleep undesirable because I can't even get good, restful sleep (the dreams make me wake up a few times in the night). The dreams I have about home are so realistic I don't want to wake up sometimes either---I want to live in my dream.

However, since yesterday, I've started to feel a little bit better. I subscribe to a magazine my church puts out and part of an article really touched me, gave me some hope, and helped me feel much better. I slept much better last night, too even. The part of the article was a children's song that was one of my favorites growing up.

Here are the words to the song:

"My Heavenly Father Loves Me" (Children's Songbook, pg 28-29)

Whenever I hear the song of a bird

Or look at a blue, blue sky,

Whenever I feel the rain on my face

Or the wind as it rushes by,

Whenever I touch a velvet rose

Or walk by our lilac tree,

I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world

Heav'nly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see

The color of butterfly wings.

He gave me my ears that I might hear

The magical sound of things.

He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:

I thank him rev'rently

For all His creations, of which I'm a part.

Yes, I know Heav'nly Father loves me.

I don't know if you're religious or not, but I thought I'd share it. It helped me put things into perspective, made me feel grateful for what I have, and made me feel loved when I felt like nobody did.

I know I still have a lot to get over and that I need to keep fighting the depression, but that's been helping me all weekend. I sang it in my mind all day at work yesterday and frequently hummed the tune. I also did the same today. If nothing else, it made me feel a lot better and I didn't seem to spend so much time thinking miserable thoughts.

Keep on hoping and working and things *will* get better. <hugs>
 

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I may be new but that doesn't stop me from offering a shoulder to cry on.

I don't have A rock bottom...I have LOTS. One was when I laid still pretending to have blacked out from my ex-boyfriend throwing me on the ground just so he'd stop. No, rock bottom was when I didn't leave for another 4 years after that.

I'm sorry that you are feeling the way you are. Here's a saying I learned from NA...(no, I'm not trying to be preachy, hell, I drink once in a blue moon) "This too shall pass". I say it over & over when I feel like ****. It helps.

I think you should go and grab a cup of soy chai or something from Kaladi Bros when they open. Do one thing that makes you happy and one thing that scares you. You'll feel a rush and that feels wonderful, refreshed!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Ama

I stop eating and start watching four episodes of Queer as Folk a day. In the past three weeks, I've lost 20 pounds and reeeally boned up on gay trivia.
I wish I were one of those people who stopped eating. I indulge in vegan junk food and tell myself it's okay because it's "health food."
I love QaF, too. Watching pretty boys kiss always cheers me up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I just want to say thank you all for your kind words and support. I don't know what is happening next, but It's going to be a long process. I will keep on keeping on and remember all your sweet advice.

Erin (((hugs))) thank you!
 
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