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I'm an [ex?] SI-er also. I'm not sure I'd participate in such a thread because I feel I am almost totally recovered, but may never get to that totally recovered point where some things aren't triggering. But I know that some people find this stuff helpful rather than triggering, and I think this thread would be a good idea.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MZCsmpsns View Post

me & the bf are over... sad on my part, but i guess he doesn't give a rats... so yeah, just ended a few hours ago... waiting on a friend to come get me and i'm gonna stay w/him tonight just to be sure I don't do anything stupid. Funny it's the friend my bf didn't want me talking to cuz he thought he was like in love w/me...but he's not. But no bf anymore, ugh. *bleep* not doing good, yet again, go figure... scared to be alone, and omg look who's there for me when i'm not doing good... and look who wasn't when i was really really not good for a damn good reason that he knew about... ugh, sorry, just ranting.... i'm done for now....
I'm glad you have a friend to help you out right now. I think breakups are a major trigger of SI for many of us.

Also: I know you said you haven't gottn much help from the hospital in the past, but don't rule it out pre-emptively. I think it's better to go *before* you SI & ask for help, than to go by ambulance or in a complete mess from cutting or overdosing or whatever.

Keep posting. We care about what happens to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #44 ·
Been awhile since anyone posted in this thread. I've wrote out a million rants, but decided not to post any of them because they were too ranty... Just wanted to check on everyone else & make sure everyone's doing ok. And by the way, I've wanted to SI, the past couple weeks especially, but haven't- thanks to my friends, my bro, and everyone here. Just thought I'd throw that in. Means a LOT to me. Hope you all are doing ok.
 

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Originally Posted by whateversays View Post

"I hope you have someone who is a professonal to talk to. "

I know you mean well, but I find that kinda thinking frustrating. The whole idea of "professional help" is a scam. "Therapists" don't have any special insight into the human condition, and there is no proof that 'therapists' offer anything that a close friend couldn't.

"Therapy" is a a cultural myth. It's a ceremony. A ritual.

a therapist is an expensive friend, a friend an inexpensive therapist.

A family who prompts a troubled member to seek "professional help" is shirking its responsibilities. "Therapy", "professional help" can only exist in an age that has outsourced the supportive role of family of friends. Of course, you're not related so you've no real duties to MZ. BUt when/if her family, her close friends, tell her to do so - and I'm talking generically here - it's mock concern.

To tell someone to seek "professional help", if you are supposed to be close to that person, is much like saying "sort yourself out, but don't bother me with your troubles".

Therapy is the least harmful of pharmocracy tools but its still a huge contrick, a swindle.

If anyone wants links critical of the pseudo science that is psychiatrry, pm me.

---

With respect to the original poster, what exactly do you want? I self harm and see it as a totally legitimate thing to do to my body.
I graduated with double honors in psych. I've seen some good 'professional listeners who could also ask good questions... and also seem some that were very quick to judge and label, and advise... rather than really try to understand. The paradigm often is a bad one to start with--- that people are there because they have a problem and they need another to diagnose it and fix it for them. (often jumping at drug routines with side effects, and difficulties that come from the side affects)

Other 'professionals' realize that people go because they want to understand or change something, and that the therapist can help them talk and explore what they are feeling and thinking, and sometimes offer perspectives that are helpful to the person's own journey they are going through.

There are helpful professionals out there, if that is what you'd like to explore. Just be mindful of your option to discontinue seeing someone who does not seem helpful to *your own journey (not *their journey they believe you should be on)

Me personally, I'd always choose a friend to talk with. A few times, that friend has been a professional, but I usually look for people of kin, or people of kind (like kind). And am very cautious of medications.

Sometimes 'outside' help is helpful, especially if there is family involved who do not want to explore or communicate. If that's the case, then it's a big help for one to be able to express themselves freely... it can help to really understand what they're feeling.. sometimes much better than a diary or self-talk can. of course that requires talking to a "listener", and not a 'suggester'

I don't have any official history of SI, just emotional SI at some times when things have been difficult. I care and hope that you explore any feelings that are underneath of things
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MZCsmpsns View Post

Been awhile since anyone posted in this thread. I've wrote out a million rants, but decided not to post any of them because they were too ranty... Just wanted to check on everyone else & make sure everyone's doing ok. And by the way, I've wanted to SI, the past couple weeks especially, but haven't- thanks to my friends, my bro, and everyone here. Just thought I'd throw that in. Means a LOT to me. Hope you all are doing ok.
I'm glad to read this post. I was wondering how things were going with you, and I'm happy to hear you are still hanging in there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #49 ·
Still hanging in, still not doing good... but I guess it's better I'm hanging in than anything else... I'm glad I've got friends and family who are looking out for me and that I can talk to who know my situation... I just don't know what to do when I'm alone... One of my mom's best friends called me last night to talk cuz she misses her so much, one of my friends might come stay w/me this wkend, and if he can't another friend offered to go do stuff w/him, and my bro is always there, and I can always call my best friend, but she's 1,000 miles away-literally. Ok, I'm gonna stop before I get into it all... but TY all for caring, and just remember I care about you all too, and even though I'm going through things, you all can PM and/or talk to me ANYTIME no matter what.
 

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I suggest you keep seeing pschologists and other support networks, including here.

Start loving yourself, have confidence in yourself. You sound a loving compassionate person, give yourself a pat on the back. Now care for yourself, do something for you , do something you would enjoy doing.

A friend of mine has recently been ill with clinical depression and now she is better her Community Psychiatric nurse suggested she does something exciting. She has just done a balloon flight.
 

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I've thought about hurting myself several times this week. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm feeling very diconnected from my body and very frustrated that any efforts I make to physically care for myself don't seem to help. I've also been feeling really guilty for the 'burden' I feel like I've been putting on my boyfriend and family with my depression. I keep telling my boyfriend, "thank you so much for supporting me right now, because I know that I am really hard to deal with right now." He's been the only person who I feel hasn't been pushing me to get better fast. My family, professor and counselor have been giving me this overall sense that they just want me to get over being depressed already. My family keeps pressuring me to go back to work to make money, but I don't feel ready to go back to work yet. Part of me feels like if they don't consider my depression to be a significant enough reason for me to not work, then maybe I need to physically hurt myself to a point that they will accept that I'm hurt enough to deserve to not have to work. My kitties and boyfriend remind me of the reasons why I don't want to go to that scary place again, but I'm really scared right now of how I've been thinking.
 

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After not doing it for over a year, I got (unintentionally) very drunk and scratched myself till i bled last night. Coulda been worse if there'd been a razor to hand though. Feel really guilty and my boyf's disappointed though he was really nice about it. Meh.
 

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DoveinGrey:
I'm sorry to hear that. I hate to say this, but have you thought that this was very soon after this thread was started? You know better than anyone, but have you considered that I might be triggering to you?
 

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Ugh, I almost cut this weekend... I just feel like my life keeps getting worse and worse, and the only thing I really have left is my family. Because I'm a teenager, that makes me feel like a really big loser.

Let me elaborate. My "best friend" is being terrible to me. She's dating this guy, and ever since they started dating it's like I'm invisible to her. By the way, she hasn't been single for over a month in three years. I'm sick of it. And I feel like I have no one to turn to, because all of my friends are friends with her, and she's kind of "group leader" I guess you could say. As cliche as that sounds.

To make matters worse, I keep getting all this homework dumped on me. I'm in honors classes and they're really hard to deal with, and I can't concentrate on the material because of personal things.

I've always felt isolated from people, but recently it's gotten worse. A lot worse. I don't feel like anyone outside my family really cares about me, and it just sucks. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry all day. There's something wrong with that.

The thing is, I know I need help. I don't want to get it for myself, though. I want someone to notice and make me get help.

Quote:
Anyone who needs this thread, DONT go see Saw III.

It has er, a REALLY triggery bit in it. I had to close my eyes.
I really really want to see that. What's wrong with it?
 

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^ Theres a scene in which the murderer-woman (same as in the 2nd film) is annoyed that jigsaw doesnt er, love her, or something. So she locks herself in a room and cuts along her legs with a knife. you can see previous scars (i think decided to look away) Maybe its just me though [shrug] be warned.
 
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