[Skylark]

I cringed when I saw the invitation. It was an event announcement sent to me via Myspace. My acquaintences Mike and Kendra were getting married, and they wanted me to come. Rather than send me a message via Myspace asking for my snail mail address to mail me an invitation, they decided to just tell me through the Internet.

OK, I could understand this if they had absolutely no money and were marrying quickly and simply. But they're not. They're throwing an average-size event given they're both from middle-class families in Ohio.

I could also understand if they had no way of contacting me except via Myspace. They have my phone number. We have many mutual friends who could have given them my address.

I could have been happy with an email inviting me to the wedding. I can understand wanting to save money. But this just seems so... flippant. Am I completely overreacting here? I feel almost old-fashioned to object to this. It's the wave of the future, right?

 

[Amy SF]

So what happens if the happy couple wants to invite somebody who never visits MySpace, like Great-Aunt Bessie, for example? Do they just not invite her?

You're right. IMO it seems rather tacky to send out their wedding invitations through MySpace.

Unless they sent SOME invitations through MySpace, and the rest the regular snail mail way. Which would be REALLY tacky.

 

[Jessica Alana]

I've gotten quite a few e-vites to parties and stuff. Never a wedding, but I haven't gone to a wedding in years.

 

[Jessica Alana]

Oops I forgot to add that I don't think it's a big deal.

 

[Thalia]

Ugh. It's like you're not good enough to buy an invitation for. Many people save those. What bothers me more is the "flippant" attitude as you mention. It's not a birthday party. It's a life-long commitment. It's ok to let your own style or attitude show through, but that's pushing it a bit. What if you lost your connection, or stopped going to myspace? Would they try to find out if you got it?

 

[massageguy]

I cling to old ways, I dont lie e-mail service birthday cards for a variety of different reasons. Asimov talked about these things in his books-elcectrical messages via computers. I agree with you, cling to what you feel is right for you-either ignore the invite or call them and tell them how you feel! MAny people are fent up in this new medium and are oblivious to its potential coldness.

 

[colorful]

Skylark - I may be in the minority here, but I honestly don't care how I receive an invitation. I never save other peoples' wedding invitations so it would get thrown away after the event anyway. What some people may consider tacky might be what the marrying couple thinks is efficient, cost-effective, environmentally-conscious, time-saving, simple, etc. Just a thought.

 

[Elena99]

I think it's lame when people send you a wedding invitation when they know there's no way in hell you can make it. This happened to me twice.

But yes, that is a little... different. Are they going paperless or something? I personally wouldn't mind being e-mailed a wedding invite. I don't use Myspace and don't really know how it works, so I can't give an opinion on that specifically.

 

[SeaSiren]

Quote:

Originally Posted by colorful

Skylark - I may be in the minority here, but I honestly don't care how I receive an invitation. I never save other peoples' wedding invitations so it would get thrown away after the event anyway. What some people may consider tacky might be what the marrying couple thinks is efficient, cost-effective, environmentally-conscious, time-saving, simple, etc. Just a thought.

I'm with colorful. But then again, I wouldn't invite anyone to my wedding

Getting married by the Justice of the Peace with no guests is the most enviro friendly to me.....or maybe Elvis???

 

[Hang~Ten~Honey]

I am pretty much the opposite of traditional but I find this a bit tacky. Maybe it's because I find MySpace to be tacky in general. It just seems, I don't know, very impersonal? Can't anyone read your myspace page? An email invite would, at least, be more private. A lot of couples are doing both these days with sending paper and email invites. There are even websites where you can create your own page and people can RSVP there. Not everyone wants a traditional wedding with the traditonal trimmings and I guess internet communication is the way to go now.

So, yeah... I vote tacky.

Oh, and I understand the whole thing about not feeling good enough to be called. My own sister last year for Thanksgiving sent me and my parents website invitations to her house for dinner! The weekend before Thanksgiving, even. After we (my mom and I) had already planned our entire menu and made our own invites. I think not.

ETA: IMpersonal not unpersonal. Gah.

 

[Sevenseas]

My wedding will be posted on YouTube for all (virtual) participants.

I personally wouldn't really care about it either way.

 

[Jessica Alana]

I should add that I find anything Myspace related tacky. However I'm all for e-vites.

I wish I got more e-cards instead of real cards. I feel bad because I just throw them away, but apparently not bad enough to keep them.

 

[epski]

It wouldn't bother me to be invited electronically, regardless of whether it was MySpace, Evite, or whatever. Paper invitations are a waste of time, money and paper.

 

[Life2k]

Immature is the word I would use. It is more like an invitation from two 16 year olds to come to the joint birthday party. If they aren't grown up enough to call you, or email you, they aren't mature enough to be getting married. Don't waste your time going. It won't last.

Call her and talk to her, but not about the wedding. Give her a chance to verbally invite you, then act surprised and honored. Ask for all the information like you had not read My space. Don't lie. Just make her do it right.

 

[Mskedi]

I just don't think that's a big deal at all. Wedding invitations are expensive both to print and to mail -- it's possible that they reserved that cost for family members, for instance, thinking their friends would understand the need to cut corners.

The fact is, you were invited. And that means they want you there. I always feel honored when I'm invited to a friend's wedding, particularly since my friends tend to have very small guest lists and very few non-family members in attendance. I'd be just as honored if they called me up five minutes before and said their aunt was sick and couldn't come and I could take her place.

They thought of you. Appreciate it and move on.

And, Life2K, to say that a marriage isn't going to last based on the mode of invitation seems judgemental at the least.

 

[GhostUser]

I think it's tacky.

 

[renaissancesun]

Maybe it is tacky. So what?

If you want to go, then go. If you don't, then don't. This isn't about you, or how anyone thinks they ought to do it. It's about them and their marriage, and how they want to do it. It's an expression of them, and maybe they are a bit tacky. I know I am.

Embrace tacky.

 

[renaissancesun]

Nice.

And why do you get to decide your way is right for someone else's marriage?

 

[tearhsong2]

Personally, I would prefer an invitation that's been emailed to me. Paper ones are expensive, wasteful, and get lost easily. They're pretty keepsakes, but personally, I don't need another couple of pieces of paper to add to the clutter--if I want a keepsake, I'd go to the wedding with my digital camera and take lots of pictures.

An invite through MySpace I'm not sure on (not a big fan of MySpace). If they can log onto MySpace can't they send you an email about it? I'd make sure to call her to get all the details straight if it were me.

 

[Iria]

I'd prefer an e-mail over Myspace, although paper or a telephone invitation would still be more personal. I sent a few open house invitations over Myspace, but only for people I rarely talk to and didn't have any other contact information for (and for the record, none of those people showed up). It's their choice how they want to run things, but I think that their choice of wedding invitations reflects badly on them. I don't know them, but just as a guess I'd say they took the easy way out: you can write up a single invitation and then just click on the friends you want to invite. It's much easier and less time-consuming than writing on envelopes or actually talking to someone. It also cheapens the whole wedding, and not in a good way. How do they know that their friends actually check their myspaces? I've gone months without looking at mine.

If you would have gone to their wedding with a traditional invitation, you should probably go anyway. Boycotting their wedding might be a bit much, although it would certainly be understandable to say that you were hurt that they didn't give you a more personal invitation.

On the other hand, if you're not close to them and don't really want to go, this is a good excuse not to.