invitation to eat out?

Kill Uncle · Aug 13, 2006

this has happened to me many times and as recently as today. 
have you ever been invited out for breakfast,lunch or dinner and the person inviting you says "i know that you dont eat anything at this restaurant,but why dont you join us for lunch and have a drink" 
i really feel wanted!

synergy · Aug 13, 2006

Well, they do want your company...

Kill Uncle · Aug 13, 2006

i dont feel that way. 
i think that when inviting someone for lunch,you should choose a place where everyone can eat and not tell me to have a drink for lunch. 
i would have to actually eat lunch before i meet them for lunch. 
they dont make any effort .its what they want to eat,take it or leave it. 
anyways,its how i feel.

Vegan Joe · Aug 13, 2006

Do you think it necessary for them to go out of their way to please your eating habits (you being the minority)? 
You should have went. 
You presence could have given them something to think about.

Kill Uncle · Aug 13, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Vegan Joe <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
Do you think it necessary for them to go out of their way to please your eating habits (you being the minority)? 
You should have went. 
You presence could have given them something to think about.</div>
</div>
 
well,the way i feel is that because they can eat just about anything and there are tons of restuarants in the city,they could have chosen somewhere where we can all go enjoy a meal together,or ask me to suggest a place. 
if they say,in the same sentence,come join us for lunch even though there is nothing in this restuarant that you can eat,i personally think that its not very nice on their part.if they wanted me there bad enough,they would have tried to find a place where everyone at the table can eat something. 
i dont know how finding a restaurant where i {the minority} is going out of their way when we are in a major city with tons of restaurants. 
i dont like to leave out the minority in my everyday life.i like everyone to be included.

meatless · Aug 13, 2006

I'm with you, kill_uncle. <div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Vegan Joe <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
Do you think it necessary for them to go out of their way to please your eating habits (you being the minority)?</div>
</div>
 
I just don't think it's necessary for kill_uncle to be put in an uncomfortable situation so that people can not have to ever step outside of their omnivorous comfort zone... which doesn't even sound like it would have happened, since all kill_uncle wishes for is for them to go somewhere s/he can find something eat. 
Fortunately, my non-veg friends are very happy to eat exclusively at veg restaurants with me, and it has never been an issue.

MTC · Aug 13, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by kill_uncle <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
i dont feel that way. 
i think that when inviting someone for lunch,you should choose a place where everyone can eat and not tell me to have a drink for lunch. 
i would have to actually eat lunch before i meet them for lunch. 
they dont make any effort .its what they want to eat,take it or leave it. 
anyways,its how i feel.</div>
</div>
 
So ther is NOTHING you can eat there. Heck a BBQ stand even has a baked potato? 
I would be happy with the company and find whatever I could on the menu or treat myself to a nice drink whether it be with liquor or virgin

Brandon · Aug 13, 2006

I see your point, kill_uncle. This has happened to me a few times, but it doesn't bother me for the most part. I'm usually glad to be invited, regardless. Plus, when I go out with a group for a meal, it's almost always up to me to decide where we go because nobody else wants to pick the place and have it be not vegan-friendly. 
I get tired of having to choose something that will make the whole group happy when I'm one person. Sometimes it's just easier to pre-eat and go for the company.

misq17 · Aug 13, 2006

I just put up with it. A friend recently invited me to TGI Fridays with a bunch of other people for her birthday. It's not my place to lecture my friends about their restaurant/food choices if they are the ones doing the inviting. I'm glad to go and have a salad or potato and a drink and just enjoy being with my friends.

Vegan Joe · Aug 13, 2006

My opinion is still it's your loss Uncle. When it's your oportunity to envite them to a veggie restaurant why should or would they go? You refused their invite. It only goes to say thay thay would do the same.

Kill Uncle · Aug 13, 2006

i see everyones point. 
i just find it so simple.......so easy to find a restaurant where we can all find something and eat a nice meal together. 
they told me straight out that there is nothing for me to eat there. why not say,we were planning to go eat at ..........,but there is nothing there for you to eat,so if you would like to join us we can eat somewhere else. 
i would think that this would be such a nice thing for someone to do. 
i find this so simple.

Tweety · Aug 13, 2006

If it doesn't happen all that often I would just allow it. Join them for a drink or make up an excuse that I'm busy. Perhaps they really like this restaurant and want to go. 
If ten times they've accommodated me, I wouldn't be hurt. If it's a pattern of continuous disrespect, then there's a problem - your "friends" are insensitive. 
Are they good friends that you go out with often? Casual acquaintences?

Kill Uncle · Aug 13, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Tweety <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
If it doesn't happen all that often I would just allow it. Join them for a drink or make up an excuse that I'm busy. Perhaps they really like this restaurant and want to go. 
If ten times they've accommodated me, I wouldn't be hurt. If it's a pattern of continuous disrespect, then there's a problem - your "friends" are insensitive. 
Are they good friends that you go out with often? Casual acquaintences?</div>
</div>
 
in this case it was family. 
my friends always accomodate me.

kpickell · Aug 14, 2006

It wouldn't bother me. I'd go and have drinks. Except that yoru friends probably don't realize that nearly every single restaurant always has something vegetarian or vegan, so odds are you'd find something. Prove to them that you don't have to go to strange special restaurants to eat out and be social as a veg*n.

Vegan Joe · Aug 14, 2006

Maybe one, some, or the majority had there heart set on eating at that place. 
Who knows maybe it was the waitress at the place, who was the best dish. (or what ever gender). Don't read to much into it. 
Maybe they were realy sinsere about you not enjoying yourself at that place. 
(95% of all the things you ever worry about never happen.)

Kill Uncle · Aug 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by Vegan Joe <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> 
Maybe one, some, or the majority had there heart set on eating at that place. 
Who knows maybe it was the waitress at the place, who was the best dish. (or what ever gender). Don't read to much into it. 
Maybe they were realy sinsere about you not enjoying yourself at that place. 
(95% of all the things you ever worry about never happen.)</div>
</div>
 
i know. 
i am not mad.i just shake my head at all this because i find the a solution to this so simple. 
i am not holding a grudge because its not the first time and wont be the last.

Tesseract · Aug 14, 2006

Luckily, I don't have friends who pull things like that. They ask me for suggestions, and we go somewhere we can agree on. Since you say it's family... yeah, sometimes family members pull annoying crap on you. That's what families do best. But you know, they're family. It only happens to me a couple times a year at major family gatherings such as my grandpa's birthday, and if he wants seafood on his birthday, then by god I'll have a baked potato and a sad salad and I won't complain. 
If it happens all the time and you really want it to stop, why not take the initiative from time to time and and invite them out... to a place where you can eat? 
Y'know, it just occurred to me that this suggestion raises the related ettiquette issue of who pays, and makes me wonder if part of what they're doing is being cheap and avoiding paying for a meal for you. Is that something they would do? Without getting too deeply into that issue, since we already have another thread going on it, it occurs to me that it would be a pretty raw deal financially if they always invite you to places where there's nothing but a sad salad for you to eat, but you invite them to places where you have to pay for full meals for them.

kpickell · Aug 14, 2006

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Y'know, it just occurred to me that this suggestion raises the related ettiquette issue of who pays, and makes me wonder if part of what they're doing is being cheap and avoiding paying for a meal for you. Is that something they would do? Without getting too deeply into that issue, since we already have another thread going on it, it occurs to me that it would be a pretty raw deal financially if they always invite you to places where there's nothing but a sad salad for you to eat, but you invite them to places where you have to pay for full meals for them.</div>
</div>
 
It didn't sound like that to me at all. It sounded more like they wanted to go to this restaurant, and were inviting him along. Nothing more, nothing less. I sincerely doubt they were going to pay for everyone's meal! 
In the "stupid things omnivores say" thread it's been brought up several times how stupid omnivores are for thinking vegetarians require special treatment, but then when they don't get that special treatment they get upset and feel left out. So either vegetarians do require special treatment and special restaurants, or they don't. (ETA: I'm not directing this at the OP of this thread, just ranting about that horrible "Stupid Things Omnivores Say" thread, which is full of so many ignorant comments)

Kiz · Aug 14, 2006

You could always try "Oh.. sounds lovely, but why don't we try XXX's! It's new and I've heard it's fabulous". (XXX's of course having veggie options) I'm also with the people who are surprised that this place has nothing for you to eat. If it was me, and if it was already firmly booked in at that restaurant I'd either call ahead and arrange something or suck it up. Then next time you do the dinner arrangements. Hell, for all you know they are complaining that you always leave it up to them to choose the venue.

astro · Aug 14, 2006

Ring the restaurant yourself and ask if they have anything suitable for you, if they say no, ask them if they can make you something. If they say they can't, just eat before you go.

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