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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all! I got an intern at PETA this summer and can't wate... I wish that it was summer allready. My father is supper supportive and most other people are as well, but my mom... not so much. When she found out (I called her from school to let her know) she kinda groaned and said "Oh, okay". After picking me up from school, she started talking about how I couldn't make AR into my religion etc etc. and then told me that she didn't want me to go. She was obviosly looking for an excuse to stop me from going when she asked "so, how are you planning to get there? I won't let you drive!" She allowed me to borrow money for the plane ticket that followed that conversation, after I told her my plan of how to pay her back and nocked out a good chunk of the cost. Thankfully, my local veg group might help me out by paying for half of the plane ticket (the people in charge have to vote on it, but I allready have 2/5 votes), leaving me with only 23.60 left to pay; after that, I start saving money just so that I can eat well and enjoy life while interning, extra spending money etc.

And even though I've done a lot of this on my own: the application process for the first time, finding people to write letters of rec, sending it all in, searching for a plane ticket and now comming up with the money to pay for it (whether it's by asking for help or earning the money myself), saving money for extra spending and so forth (all the things that my mom has been pushing me to do on my own and refusing to help me with)... she still isn't supportive. I meen, it would be one thing if she said congrats then told me of her concerns, but she dosn't do that, she's not happy about me going at all and won't even pretend like she is. And I honostly don't think that she'll just miss me, I meen, I worked the last 3 summers at an overnight camp and only saw her on saturdays, that's 4 days per month, so what's two months to her? And I have been gone for longer then that to, I spent a whole summer at my grandmothers house and didn't see her at all when I was younger, have spent up to two weeks at my dad's house, three weeks at a camp counsailer training camp etc. without seeing her at all.

It just brakes my heart that she can't even pretend like she's happy for me. I know she's not veg and I am, I know she's wanting me to have a job where I get paid really well, I mean, I know all of that! I just want her to say "good job" or "I'm proud of you" or "congrats" or anything positive!

So, if you have anything to encourage me, please sher it. I guess I just needed to vent.

Jennifer
 

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I understand the pain of her not showing support. Also consider the fact that if she just held it in it could cause problems later.

Best of luck with your internship. I'm not a PeTA supporter, but I do support hauling ass.

Be happy for yourelf. No one else matters.
 

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I think it's awesome that you're interning at PETA!

Try explaining it to your mother very simply as - you are standing up for something you believe in. You are trying to make the world a better place, even if this is not the easy road. She should be proud that she instilled those values in you.
 

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Congrats! That is so cool that you got it! Don't feel bad about it because of your mom - you worked hard to get it! And like you said, you did it all yourself.

Don't know whether or not this will make you feel better but: ALOT of parents are like that. You are lucky you have a supportive dad though. Both of my parents are exactly like your mom. I could be president and save humanity and they would never say 'I'm proud of you' or 'congrats'.

I rarely talk to my parents and I am not close with them. Basically, they don't approve of my life ...Not that my life is anything bad. I finished my Bachelors and I am working on my Masters. Have always gotten good jobs. But I am not living the way THEY would have lived if they were me - therefore, they don't have anything supportive to say about anything I achieve.

My mom wanted me to marry a doctor, have a bunch of kids, eat meat and join the christian women's guild. Well, I didn't do any of that. So, even though, she won't directly say it, she is disappointed (I honestly think she likes my cousins better than me - they all have a zillion kids). but ahh, I won't keep rambling..parents are a loooong story.


Also, I think some parents (even though they push you to be independant) don't like it when you become so - it makes no sense I know - because then they are worried about you getting hurt and something going wrong. Also, because they might be afraid you don't need they anymore.

Have you talked to your mom to tell her how much her support would help you out and that is an honor for you to get the internship and she should be proud of you? Maybe your dad can talk to her?

Other than that, I don't know if there really is much you can do but just go on with your plans. I think you are doing great - you did everything yourself and you can prove to your mom that you can continue doing so. You have to live your own life.
 

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congratulations on that! im so jealous!! i was actually reading about the intern positions at PETA and it seems very interesting! i would love to be there. definitely a life changing experience. Go Make a difference!
 

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Awesome!! Congratulation on the intern. Yay happy and fidgety eH? xD

oh dear...parents. I'm pretty sure she wants what's best for you and she is probably hesitant with you leaving for something she doesn't totally agree with but when you come back and tell her of the experience you've gained and the things you've learned that will help u strive through life, I'm pretty sure she'll definitely be proud of you.
 

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I think you should tell her these things now. Face to face, in a letter, whatever. I'd suggest not letting it grow into a rift between you both. In the end you may not be happy about how each other feels, but at least you might know where both of you are coming from.

While I'm not sure about PeTA sometimes, I'm betting you have your heart in the right place and I'm glad you got an internship! *hug*
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for all the support!


I wish that I could just sit down and talk to my mom about it, but she's not a very good listener. I love her, but she just dosn't really tune in to feelings, ya know? Unless they belong to her, she just can't understand them. Strangely, my dad is much better at listening then my mom it.

And I can't get my dad to talk to my mom about it, bevauce they are divorced, so it wouldn't acomplish much.

Okay, gotta go to church,

jennifer
 

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Is it possible that your mother has some concerns that she hasnt properly revealed to you? Like the impact an internship with that particular charity might have on your future job prospects or similar?

The terms internship and PETA seemed slightly contradictory to me, as the kind of employers I would approach who might be impressed by an internship with a well known charity are exactly the kind of people I wouldnt risk revealing support for PETA to. Just from the tone of your post--that your mum was worried you were adopting it as a "religion"--suggest that she thinks you are making personal sacrifices for it. Certainly a mother who is willing to lend air-fare etc. isn't being unsupportive about it, but it does sound like she has some concerns, either the aforementioned or otherwise.

If I were in your situtation, I suspect that (although a regular supporter of PETA) my mother would try to talk me out of it because (a) job prospects, but, more importantly to her, (b) she would be worried about the impact that constantly being reminded of the suffering of creatures I care about would have on me.

I think its really important that you talk about this with her. Find out what her concerns are, and take them seriously. Explain to her either why X, Y, Z wont be a problem for you, or that you understand her concerns, but think that the benefit you will get from doing it will outweigh the negatives she has come up with. Perhaps the reason she hasnt explained to you why she is so enthusiastic is that she is worried about you but doesnt want you to think she is trying to talk you out of it.
 
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