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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need something to read to keep up my positive feelings. Please share stories of how a break-up allowed something positive in your life, or how you were very sad and then got over it better than before.

So far for my current situation, I have more time to do things like exercise, keep my apartment clean, and prepare for the GRE so I can get a PhD. (woohoo!)

I've been spending more time at the library (even on Friday nights,
) which discourages me from buying books now that I am trying to get my money in order before going back to school.
 

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hmm. I lost 10 pounds, went off the Paxil, found great new friends in my reanactment group, and basically decided that I would never live for someone else again. I'd love to meet someone, but i'm ok with dating. dating is fun. sorta.

but, love is what makes you get up in the morning, put on some lipstick and try all over again. that's the nature of da beast.


chin up peoples. it gets better. sometimes it is better than before, if you are open to it.
 

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I decided to take control of my life. I went vegan, started exercising, had a great summer, and now am back at school with my self confidence restored. Granted, that's ignoring a bazillion bad things...but there really is hope! I'm getting better every day...and believe me, you will too.

Peace
 

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Hmm. It's only been about six weeks since my break-up, but I've lost four kilos, am jogging six times a week, and am really determined to get through the semester of uni and get good results. I also really want to be successful to be kind of like, 'look what you're missing'.

I think I was in a bit of a rut at the end, and I'm now focused on myself, and having fun.
 

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I was with this guy for a year, and when he broke up with me I was devastated. It didn't help that I also suffered from depression at the time. Several months later I met Mr. Meatless, and we will be celebrating eight years together in a little over a week.
We have come a long ways together. We got out of the small town we're from, moved to the city, I got a degree and now we're both in good jobs, share our home with four beautiful animals, and are very happy together.
 

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My exwife - married for five, together for ten - came home one Friday night after work in November of 2000.

I had hoped to surprise her with Chinese food but instead she surprised me when she came in the door and said four of the worst words in the English language "We need to talk."

You can pretty much guess the rest.

The short version is we grew apart and our interests were changing.

The slightly longer version is she became obsessed with dogs and dog training and would watch Animal Planet 24/7 if she could (thanks to her I probably know more about dogs than a lot of dog lovers; I am not a big dog lover myself).

OTOH I just wanted to play guitar, read, watch cheesy sci-fi movies (which she HATED) and not talk about dogs all the bloody time.

She wouldn't allow me to put up Star Wars posters in the basement, that's just the kind of special bond we had with each other.

We met when we were very young. Unlike me she matured as she got older and, because of her, I kind of lost touch with a lot of my friends 'cos she was kind of stuck up and didn't like them.

There were so many mitigating factors, some of which I'm not proud of and too many to mention. But suffice it to say that silly banter and singing TV theme tunes (The Facts Of Life, Diff'rent Stokes, The Jefferson's, WKRP, I know them all) while walking our dogs wasn't her idea of high jinks (just as an example of where I am not a serious person in the least whereas she didn't suffer fools gladly.)

After she left to go to her parent's house that fateful Friday night, I collapsed in a corned in the fetal position and cried for hours as I rocked back and forth. Ahhhh, good times. Thanks for starting this thread so I can relive THAT memory!


After a couple weeks of heavy drinking I started to get my life together. I reconnected with my old group of friends which had expanded in my absence. I took guitar lessons (I could already play but wanted to get better). I joined a gym and have been working out ever since.

I actually had a social life again. Me and the ex hardly ever went out because she didn't like my friends and she had none of her own.

Through my friends I met a fun loving girl from Calgary. We hit it off big time even though one of the first things she said when we met in a Subway was: "I love meat." D'oh!

I once lamented to her that, as a young boy, I always wanted the Star Wars AT-AT for Christmas and every year I was disappointed.

So the next Christmas what should I find under my tree? You guessed it. An AT-AT. That's when I knew it was love.


In my current basement I not only have Star Wars posters, but I have tons of Star Wars paraphernalia which my wife thinks is cool, and she never once asked me how much any of it cost. It's good that she doesn't know.

Anyway, the best part about a failed marriage is you learn from your mistakes and learn what not to do. The current Mrs Creezy and I just get along. We hardly ever fight. We respect each other. We accept each other for who we are (except for the whole thing where I sort of pushed veganism on her and she's about 98% of the way there and seems pretty okay with it).

We're two of the silliest people on the planet and we're always laughing our heads off when we're together.

So, um, yeah. That is my story of heartache, happiness, and a life-long obsession with Star Wars.

Oh, and one last thing, my exwife did us both the hugest favor by having the courage to do what needed doing and, as much as it sucked at the time, she will always have my respect and admiration for what she did.

The end.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for the stories! JC- I liked your story.

For the first time, when I think about the dating pool, I don't have to just think, Does he have a girlfriend? But does he have a wife? Although maybe around this time many men are becoming available all over after their divorces.

One guy I recently met and liked (although I've been having a heck of a time meeting him again.) has a son. So I think, is he married? If not, would I mind if he has a son? I never had to think about that before when I stuck to 25 year olds.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalia View Post

Thanks for the stories! JC- I liked your story.

For the first time, when I think about the dating pool, I don't have to just think, Does he have a girlfriend? But does he have a wife? Although maybe around this time many men are becoming available all over after their divorces.

One guy I recently met and liked (although I've been having a heck of a time meeting him again.) has a son. So I think, is he married? If not, would I mind if he has a son? I never had to think about that before when I stuck to 25 year olds.
Some more questions to consider: How old is the son? Does the son live with him? If not, when does he see his son? If his son lives elsewhere, how far away is he? What's his relationship like with the boy's mother? (If it's hateful and vindictive, that could tell you perhaps more about the man than if he were a swinger.) Does he want more children, and how does that fit with your goals children-wise?

I have a friend who is now 28 and has an eight-year-old son. He and his girlfriend-at-20 made choices neither of them were ready to handle. He has not seen the boy in four or five years because the mother has gone psycho, refusing to allow any contact between them. I'm sure these were questions that my friend's now-fianceé has asked herself. (They're getting married in March.)
 

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i was entrenched in a really deep friendship with a woman that ended up going a bit abusive.

when i left that relationship, i lost a lot of things--a social network, the daily companionship of a friend, etc. it was rough and i was both sad and lonely.

but i was also liberated. i could do anything with m life and be anything with my life. i knew that i could meet more people and new people and have better, healthier relationships.

it was a real joy for me to explore my time alone, explore myself, which opened the doorway to more possibilities than i even imagined.
 
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