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I'm trying to imagine if my husband did that. If the lady was so tipsy that she was unsteady on her feet, I would understand him holding her hand or putting an arm around her or something. Some people get very huggy when drunk so a long hug could also be excusable. I think I'd be more pissed about him giving someone £50 of our money


Then again if he WASN'T a touchyfeelyhuggy drunk, or if he had tried to kiss her, or if she didn't need any support, I would raise hell.

It's very hard to tell from one incident, especially when you were a bit drunk. All his actions could have multiple motives. I would just wait and see and try to act normal in the mean time
 
I'm going to go with the whole drinking thing, especially since you said that his wife was worried about you. Alcohol makes people do weird things, things they normally wouldn't do sober. If it happens again, talk to her and see what she says.
 
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Originally Posted by affidavit View Post

To be optimistic, he might have thought you were a bit tipsier than you were and trying to lend some support without the connotations of, say, an arm around your shoulders. Also, was he drinking too? It could be that he didn't really realize how huggy he was being. If he had tried to kiss you, which you're assuming he did not, I suppose, yes, that would be very off.
Lending support?
yeh right. Why did this opportunistic wanker wait until he's out of the view of his wife before holding the hand of a drunk young woman and trying to kiss her. Pissed or not, that is predatory behaviour. I know plenty of guys who wouldn't do this cos they know it's taking advantage.
 
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Originally Posted by yally View Post

I'll also mention he is a fair bit older than me. I'm 25 and he's 40, he should be more SENSIBLE dammit.
That, plus being a bit tipsy, is probably why he did it. Wouldn't you hold a little girls hand if you were walking her to the bus stop? That's how he may have been viewing you at the moment in is somewhat impaired state. I wouldn't worry about it unless he does it again. Then you should probably talk to him about it, or his wife.
 
Discussion starter · #28 ·
I am not worried really, he is almost certainly feeling just as silly about it now. Even worse for handing over that money (which I'll give back obviously, I didn't even spend it).
 
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Originally Posted by yally View Post

One thing that bothers me is it's such a SILLY thing. It's not like anyone is going to get anything out of it but it still crosses a weird line.
don't worry darling. you application to be a nun is whizzing through the catholic church on a lightening bolt!
.

in man speak, i'd say he was putting a move on you or judging your interest in him. if it was the latter, i'm sure he's been cooled.
 
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Originally Posted by yally View Post

Yeah, I'm starting to agree with soberness.

I was left shaking at the time though, partly because I think the psychological effect of being handed a big wad of cash by a guy saying 'please let me take care of you' freaks me out a little


Arg I wish I hadn't started this thread, I am paranoid someone will read it and I'm making a massive deal over nothing.
he said, "please let me take care of you"? That (to me) is creeeeeepy
 
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Originally Posted by peacefulveglady View Post

I am sorry you had to go through that. I had experience with someone's husband once moved on me and later on got me in bed with him for almost a year off and on. I am lucky that my husband came along so I was able to stop the mess at the time.
This post really rubs me the wrong way, seems like you think you have no responsibility for your actions....."the husband did this and that"....uhm, you didn't have to sleep with him!


Anyway, I do think the hand-holding is odd but not too, too alarming. Would you feel safe to be around him alone again, do you think?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by yally View Post

Ok, so, I have a friend from the shop where I volunteer. I was round her house drinking wine this evening, we got pretty tipsy and didn't realise how late it was. Her husband offered to walk me to the bus stop, took my tennis racket and then HELD MY HAND. Wah? I didn't know how to react so I just jabbered random crap til we got to a main road, he gave me a hug then gave me 50 quid to get a taxi home.

Freaking out a little. Am I overreacting? I don't think it's normal for married men to hold other women's hands...

Also he may or may not have tried to kiss me, I'm not sure so I don't want to read too much into that. But man that was a long hug...

Dammit, this crap is giving me stress pains


I don't know what to think or how to react or anything. I have a tendency to overreact.
You're not overacting.

Any unwanted physical contact isn't something that has to be tolerated. I've often times seen men try to get away with doing things that are not all right with women while they're tipsy and it really gets to me. Even if it's not entirely sexual.
 
Ehhh, that all sounds awkward-esque

I'd say don't hang out with her if he's around. Holding hand? I wouldn't even hold a girl's hand if I had a girlfriend, so being married sounds even more weird.
 
Discussion starter · #36 ·
It's just annoyingly awkward. May see him tomorrow (seeing his wife). I am hoping everything will be normal and will be as if awkwardness never happened. Except I have to give him his money back, so at the very least we need to admit that he handed me a silly amount of money.
 
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