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serious relationship problems here. we're "taking it easy" for now and i just don't know what to do with myself. we've been together for over 4 years and i've been in this country for 5, it's needless to say that we share the same friends who are more his friends than my friends. i know i need to get out of the house but noone seems to be around. and even though we weren't doing very good for a while and i was thinking about taking a break for a while, i miss him more than ever. it's not easy for him either, but he keeps himself occupied. i am also starting to think that he has a crush on someone in perticular (never been jealous before in my life) and i don't know if i'm just going crazy of if it really is there. i'm just falling apart. at least the test said i'm not pregnant - that made me feel a little better. but yeah, i'm a mess.<br><br>
i wish my monitor could grow some hands and give me a hug.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/bigcry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":cry:">
 

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I am sorry you are hurting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br><br><br>
I don't know enough about your relationship or what was going wrong with it to be able to give you any advice, though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br><br><br>
Maybe you should speak with a counsellor of some sort to help you sort things out.
 
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i'm really sorry that things aren't going too great right now for you. i know what its like to be living in a country thats not your first home, and to have a lot of your social stuff having been formed around a significant other- it must be hard to feel like your friends are not just yours, and that they have a conflict of interest at times like this.<br><br><br><br>
i bet its the last thing you feel like doing, but maybe now would be a time to think about going out and joining a club or taking up an evening course thats to do with something that you are interested in, like art, or veg*an cookery, for example, and starting to nuture some new relationships and make new prospective good friends that'll be just yours, and able to be there for you when you need them for support.<br><br><br><br>
it'd also be a way to keep busy, and that kind of thing helps me to stay sane when i'm dealing with emotional stuff.<br><br><br><br>
if you can't get out with other people in this way, doing anything to distract yourself from your own sorrow can sometimes help, till the pain feels a bit less raw- things like doing some voluntary work, going for long walks and looking at everything, doing some art, singing along to the radio, hanging out on veggieboards, lol, doing crosswords even- just hang in there!<br><br><br><br>
hope things get better for you soon!
 

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I second hoodedclawjen's suggestion. If you possibly can, pick up a new hobby or take a class -- this will be a good way for you to meet people, but it will also give you an opportunity to learn something new!<br><br><br><br>
I'm so sorry that you're hurting right now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> Hope everything works out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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Discussion Starter #6
thank you all very much.<br><br>
it's hard to get myself to do things like reading or puzzles or even cleaning. but i'm now realizing that i absolutely have to if i don't want to go crazy, so i'll do that - i'll get myself together and do stuff.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>hoodedclawjen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
i bet its the last thing you feel like doing, but maybe now would be a time to think about going out and joining a club or taking up an evening course thats to do with something that you are interested in, like art, or veg*an cookery, for example, and starting to nuture some new relationships and make new prospective good friends that'll be just yours, and able to be there for you when you need them for support.</div>
</div>
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I second that. It's always important in a relationship to have some friends that are separate to the friends you share as a couple. It's much harder to do that of course when you've emigrated from another country, but taking classes and joining clubs in the things that interest you is a good place to start. I've met a lot of my current friends through my interest in art and music.<br><br><br><br>
Hope things improve for you very soon Vicky <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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okay - so i pretty much suck at love advice - but, get busy! find something to occupy you, it will help.<br><br><br><br>
in lieu of that , here are lots of hugs!<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:">
 

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<span style="color:#008000;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> I'm sorry, Vicky. Just concentrate on doing what you need to do, and what's right for you each day. Be open, communicate, and listen to your heart. Everything will play out the way it's supposed to, just be sure to be true to yourself.<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sunny.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sunny:"></span>
 

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Just wanted to tell you that the feelings you are having are totally valid. Its ok to be confused, and scared, and concerned about the future. But just remember that who you are as a person, is not defined by any other person, no matter how much you love them, how much you feel or felt you need them - you are your own person, and from what I've learned of you in this place, is that you are a strong, vibrant, amazing woman, and you can get through this.<br><br><br><br>
(((HUGS)))
 

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BIG *hugs* to you.<br><br><br><br>
Go out somewhere even though you'll be by yourself.. give a smile. =)<br><br><br><br>
Hope things work out the way it should so you can be happy again!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
thanks again. a little update - we talked and talked yesterday and decided to take a break for a few months. so we left each other in good spirits this morning and i hope that it will only make us stronger. it's pretty clear that we both still love one another very much. i hope this is benefitial for both of us.
 
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