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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, here is the situation. I don't feel comfortable at home, ever since I came out to my mom our relationship has disintegrated, and my grades in school ( I had a really tough year) are not helping. I am taking slightly easier classes next year, which my mom is fine with, and I'm getting a job and starting volunteer and sports up again. The problem is where I want to do this. I told her a few weeks ago that maybe, MAYBE, I'd like to move in with my dad and attend school where he lives for my last year of high school. She got very angry with me and said that if I went to live with him, I'd go to a community college and I'd never be what I want to be and I won't get good grades in high school, basically (her words, not mine.) she said I'd become a loser.<br><br>
She has a few good points, I suppose, but mostly she's just upsetting me and I feel like I'm being bullied into staying with her. Any advice? Should I stay with my mom or will I turn out okay if I attend a school near my dad for the last year of high school? It's in a different state, I don't know if that changes anything.
 

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Impeach the gangster
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Have you spoken to your Dad about it? What does he have to say? Frankly, you don't sound real sure about moving in with him, and if this is just about your relationship with your Mom, it might be better to stick it out with her. It's only one more year.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've given both sides consideration, and right now it's looking like I'd rather live with my dad. My dad doesn't like to talk to my mom about these things, and he prefer that I take my time and weigh both options and decide whatever I think it best for me. He says he'd love to have me live with him, but he doesn't want to force me to do anything, which I'm grateful for.<br><br>
I'm just so worried because I've always followed what my mother wanted, it's only been in the past year I've started voicing my own opinions.
 

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Impeach the gangster
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Your Dad is right- you should do what's best for you. Consider this: if you suddenly move to a new school system, your last year could be much harder; there will certainly be a lot of adjustments for you to make.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That is part of the reason I'm considering moving, actually. I'll already being moving school for my senior year, so I'm wondering what the difference will be. I won't know anyone at either, the only difference will be that they're in different states.
 

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Impeach the gangster
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You asked in your first post, "....will I turn out okay if I attend a school near my dad for the last year of high school?" Sounds to me like you've already turned out okay. You're thoughtful and considerate of others, which is more than high schools can teach you. Either way, you'll end up with a diploma; after that, there are no guarantees. Offhand, from an emotional point of view, it sounds like you'd be happier with Pop. So it's just a matter of finding the courage to make the move. But the courage has to come from yourself, not from Mom, and not from Dad. Does this make sense?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
That does make sense, yes. Thank you very much! I'm just not sure whether I can find the courage, my mother can be quite intimidating when she chooses to be. But you've given me more to think about, which I am thankful for.
 

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I'm not sure where you, your mom or your dad live, but you might want to forgo your senior year and take community college classes now. In Washington, it's called Running Start, and it might be a good option for you. Good luck with everything.
 

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This is purely my opinion, but I'd go with dad if your relationship is that strained with your mum. I lived with my mum for two years after my dad was gone, and our relationship was really poor. It had an impact on my mood, my grades, my relationships with my friends (because I was always irritable because of her), and I just ended up being so much more stressed than I needed to be.<br><br>
Also... even IF your grades are lower living with your dad (which I doubt they would be), and you go to community college, what's to say you can't do what you want with your life and be happy? That does not mean you're going to be a loser.
 

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I am sorry your going through this and your not a loser, your just being yourself and you aren't doing nothing wrong. I can see how your grades went down because of the stress and worry your mother is putting on you. Hang In there and go with your dad if that will be making you feel better. She is wrong about community college that you won't pick what you choose. A community college is for those that can't afford to go to a regular university type deal.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Capstan</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2905223"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You asked in your first post, "....will I turn out okay if I attend a school near my dad for the last year of high school?" Sounds to me like you've already turned out okay. You're thoughtful and considerate of others, which is more than high schools can teach you. Either way, you'll end up with a diploma; after that, there are no guarantees. Offhand, from an emotional point of view, it sounds like you'd be happier with Pop. So it's just a matter of finding the courage to make the move. But the courage has to come from yourself, not from Mom, and not from Dad. Does this make sense?</div>
</div>
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+1<br>
Sounds too like maybe your mom has some issues with your dad and/or fears of abandonment, etc. If you decide to live with dad, you can still see Mom of course, but then you'll be able to leave the stress mostly behind when you go home to your dad's place.
 
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