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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have three sisters, a 22, 14 and 10 year old. Me (19) and my older sister have always respected our parents for their work and time to support us etc. But Shelby, my 14 year old is very disrespectful. She frequently shouts and says hateful things to my mum. I know this is seen as 'normal' at this age but neither me or my sister or any of my female friends were this bad. Even my mum admits she is worried about her very sudden and uncontrollable behaviour.
She bullies everyone in her family, in a sneaky- deceptive way. Like with my depression, she would openly say I was faking it, she would try to make me seem crazy too. Just now, she has stood and spoken to my mum like she was a dumb child. Repeating over and over about 10 times the same question 'So it isn't my room?' no matter what answer she was given. She blackmails and threatens. By making out to my mum that she is abusive and hits her. Which I know 100% that she doesn't. My parents are too scared to confront her, they won't admit it. They even avoid asking her to do simple chores like hoovering, feeding the animals because of her cruel and over-the-top reactions. Ofcourse, I feed all the guineapigs, rabbits, mice, parrots, tortoise. It doesn't take long and I guess i shouldn't complain. But Shelby has a pet, a guineapig who she never feeds, cleans or show any responsibilty towards that animal.
Everyday, since I could remember has been the same. It has gotten worse, since she turned about 11-12. She isn't violent, well she has pushed me and hit my sister. Now, i'm not saying i'm innocent. Sometimes when she embarreses my mum infront of her friends (who are also rude) I do say stuff to her. Such as simply telling her to leave my mum allone or insulting her. Now this isn't often but I do do it. What can I do? I have no respect for her anymore and I don't feel that I like my sister anymore. I just wish my mum or even my dad actually did something about it, she should enforce her rules and go through with her punishmets. But she simply says 'I can't deal with the hassle of it, you know what she's like'. Argghh, if this doesn't make sense just ask me what you need to know. Sorry, I'm just annoyed and needed to get this of my chest, it's just i can't help but feel responsible to protect my family from her.
I'm growing tired of it.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondegurl38 View Post

My parents are too scared to confront her, they won't admit it. They even avoid asking her to do simple chores like hoovering, feeding the animals because of her cruel and over-the-top reactions.
Quote:
I just wish my mum or even my dad actually did something about it, she should enforce her rules and go through with her punishmets. But she simply says 'I can't deal with the hassle of it, you know what she's like'.
When you have parents that are that piss-weak that they can't follow with their parental duties and responsibilties, (and there are SO many parents like this), there isn't much that you can do to effect change - just lie low until you can leave home. :/
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah, but neither me or my older sister were bad. I don't see how she could be so ridiculous when she was brought up the same way as us.
 

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Originally Posted by blondegurl38 View Post

Yeah, but neither me or my older sister were bad. I don't see how she could be so ridiculous when she was brought up the same way as us.
My sister and I are very different and we had the same parents.
There's all kinds of things that are influencing a person's behaviour, not just parental input.
 

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There were times when my brother was that age that I really thought he was going to murder our mum. He was never physically violent but the anger and hatred in his voice was terrifying. A few years later I started behaving like a complete ***** to her too, I truly hated her and thought I could never love her.

Now we are 24 and 22. My brother has moved back in with her and they get along great and have a good relationship. I also have a good relationship with her, and since my nan died in March I actually think we are quite close now. I could never have believed it would be like this, if you had told me when I was 14.

Hormones can change behaviour in unbelievable ways, and they are worse during puberty. But they don't last forever, your sister will settle down.
 

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I would be really surprised if you and your other sister didn't have some of the same problems at that age (perhaps to a lesser degree). For me, I noticed it more when my younger sister was 15. She was really just an obnoxious brat. Now, she's a wonderful woman now and I love her more than anything, but back in those days, I can't believe my mom didn't just smack her in the face sometimes. At one point, when the three of us girls were in the kitchen with my mom, she had some crazy, hysterical moment and went off stomping/yelling. Sister #2 just sat there in shock for a few seconds. I asked my mom if we were that bad when we were that age. She answered "Pretty much, yeah". I said "thank you for not killing us".


I'm not saying that there aren't cases that require special attention, but 13-15 year olds can just be a real pain in the ass to live with sometimes.
 

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lol, I was actually quite reasonable as a teenager.
 

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Herbivorous Urchin
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I had a sister like that. She ended up being a methhead and having five kids.
 

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Originally Posted by Envy View Post

lol, I was actually quite reasonable as a teenager.
Me too, I love my dad, he's my best friend, couldn't imagine being a complete psycho to him. ^.^
 

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Maybe she has some mental health or hormone issues.
 

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I was worst around 12-13, i was physically violent with my mom dad and sister, i have mental illnesses, that the hormones probably made 10x worse, i'm almost 20 now, still have them but i've calmed down and don't have the anger issues like i did. I would say wait it out but if you think it's needed you guys should try getting her some help, some therapy and possibly medication. Depression often manifests itself in anger, like it did with me, then of course there are mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and borderline personality. This most likely isn't her real personality but rather her attitude at the moment. My older sister was never out of control like that, but yet she's the one that turned out to be very selfish and only cares about money and herself, and i'm betting my sister hated me the same way and probably holds onto it. I have a good relationship with my parents now, despite pushing my mom into a shower, and constantly going after my dad if he tried to discipline me, teens definitely change, i'm not the same person i was then and i'm sure your sis will change. Oh and to add my sister wasn't a peach she was a ***** to my parents too and really bad to me, usually when i would attack her physically it was because she called me fat or told me to go kill myself, after i already had a suicide attempt, if you ask me she was always the worst because she knew the perfect words to get to you, but was weak physically, and i was the opposite.
 

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I agree that it might be a mental illness. Has your sister ever seen a therapist? It sounds like it's possible that it's more than just typical teen hormones. Has anything happened to her in her past or is something going on at school that might be triggering this behavior?
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondegurl38 View Post

She bullies everyone in her family, in a sneaky- deceptive way. Like with my depression, she would openly say I was faking it, she would try to make me seem crazy too. Just now, she has stood and spoken to my mum like she was a dumb child. Repeating over and over about 10 times the same question 'So it isn't my room?' no matter what answer she was given. She blackmails and threatens. By making out to my mum that she is abusive and hits her. Which I know 100% that she doesn't. My parents are too scared to confront her, they won't admit it.
That's frightening. I mean if your parents are even too scared to confront her...

Is seeing a counselor an option?
 

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Originally Posted by blondegurl38 View Post

it's just i can't help but feel responsible to protect my family from her.
I'm growing tired of it.
It's your responsibility to protect all the animals in the house, because they're captive and can't take care of themselves. And it would be nice if you watched out for your younger sister. But you are under no obligation to protect your parents. They're the ones who chose to have her and they're the ones who need to try to figure out what to do about her behavior. Although you might suggest to them that she see a counselor or something for evaluation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Sorry I haven't replied to anyone yet. I had to turn of the laptop and go up stairs, she was talking about me behind my back. Argh. Anyway... Well, I have been guessing it's due to her age and all those hormones. But I have my doubts. I do think her friends can be apart of her behaviour, though I don't know much about them, her best friend comes round pretty much everyday after school. She doesn't seem to show any manners, I don't like her much. I was in bathroom one time and she came to the door and tried to unlock it! After i said 'What?' She laughed and went off to my sister! She hasn't been to a therapist or anything like that. And I doubt she would go anyway. She's doing good at school, she's not 'bunking' or anything. Pretty much all the time she gets angry or almost 'crazy' like it's the end of the world. Like if my mum doesn't say exactly where and object is (Hairdryer etc) and I mean exactly, she will stand there and repeat her question over and over. She is so patronizing, 5 of her friends were around the other day. I stayed in the kitchen, I hate arguing and being embarressed. She was talking about me, ofcourse. 'She's actually older than me' in such a patronizing way. Her friends were like OMG really? (it may not seem like much to you guys). it's as if she must insult someone in order to feel better about herself. It is bullying. And I hate that she still gets whatever she wants, she knows it. She says stuff like 'Yes I will get it'. She orders everyone around. She is pretty much the boss of the house. And I'm the only one who says stuff back. Me and my mum have discussed that she may have bipolar. I wouldn't be surprised.

P.S. When I was younger, I was very much to myself. I never really complained and if I did it never involved shouting or crying. I was a tomboy, I only had boyfriends. I was a quiet kid and I spent most of my time with my animal friends. Katie does get very stroppy, but only when she's on her periods haha. At about 14 she was never like shelby.
 

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I really don't entirely get why some people are saying she needs to be seen by a psychiatrist, or a mental problem. Sometimes kids are just *******s.
 

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Originally Posted by River View Post

I really don't entirely get why some people are saying she needs to be seen by a psychiatrist, or a mental problem. Sometimes kids are just *******s.
Uhh because she can have huge problems going on and end up a drug addict or committing suicide? Btw when my major depression started it was in anger, i didn't really put myself alone in my room at all, and i was still getting good grades, a couple years later was when it transformed into showing sadness, trying to be alone all the time, and failing every class.
 

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Originally Posted by AlixJ18 View Post

Uhh because she can have huge problems going on and end up a drug addict or committing suicide? Btw when my major depression started it was in anger, i didn't really put myself alone in my room at all, and i was still getting good grades, a couple years later was when it transformed into showing sadness, trying to be alone all the time, and failing every class.
Or, like most ******* kids, she'll grow out of being an *******, or the parents will grow some balls and make her stop.
 
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