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I'm upset at my friend...

1074 Views 6 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  River
So my friend came over to my house one day and when her parents came to get her, she was looking at my two (lovely) pet rats, Casper and Sowah and for some reason decided she wanted a hamster. My heart kinda sank at this because I know she wouldn't have done any research, but I doubted her parents would agree. We were at soccer practice and she announced that she got a male hamster named Charlie. She showed me pictures and he was adorable, and out of curiousity (and concern) I asked what size cage she got and she said... 10 gallons. I wanted to tell her that was too small but she doesn't view animals the same way I do, and probably wouldn't care. Anyways, her hamster started gaining weight and turn out he was actually a she and she was pregnant. I started sending her information on what to do and then 6 beautiful babies were born. I begged my parents to allow me to adopt one when they reached 5 weeks and I was allowed to! That's how I have Theodore today.

Here is where the bad news starts to come...
One night one of the girls got sick and lethargic. The little baby died overnight. A week later another of the girls got sick... She died as well. Then the last girl got sick. And died as well. None of the boys seemed to get ill. She had separated her only boy left at this time before they started getting sick, and her cousins had adopted one while I adopted the other.

When she was in school telling me the last one was sick I urged her to take her to the vet. She disagreed saying that she knew she would die anyways so there is no point. I told her that she was a living animal that deserves medical care and she shrugged it off. I told her the name of the vet I go to if my pet ever had a problem and she just ignored me.

It really makes me sad that she doesn't even care that 3 of her pets have died, and when she had an oppurtunity to save one, she didn't. She has also done no research in taking care of her hamsters at all and only listens to what the pet store says. Any tips? I take caring for animals VERY seriously and it seems like she takes it with a grain of salt...
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It can be so frustrating to deal with people like that! What I have found usually works best with those types of people is to try to spin what you are saying in a way that benefits the person. So instead of saying that a hamster needs a large cage because it needs plenty of space to run around, you could say that having a large hamster cage is awesome because it will stay a lot cleaner with the same amount of effort. I work in a pet store and I've found that is the best way to convince people that little tiny "hamster" cages aren't going to work - they are too much effort to keep clean. If people think they are doing something for themselves they are usually more likely to go for it, and if it benefits the animal then it's good in the end.
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This is such a tricky situation. You don't want to be seen as judging her...and too much disagreement with how she views animals could really harm your friendship.

Unfortunately, there are many who think like her. It is so sad that pet shops are allowed to thrive....sell these beautiful animals without vetoing the new homes, but, for now, that's the status quo.

What you can do? If you go to her home, maybe you can "play" with the hamster which will teach her how she can do the same... do this without actually saying anything. Perhaps the two of you can go shopping for "toys".
It's more likely that if you can lead by example, she will slowly start to learn.

Hopefully you'll get more tips.
Thanks so much CrochetLove! That is really good advice to try and keep it positive to her and I'm so glad that you are able to try and tell people to take proper care of their pets instead of most petstore owners who don'y really give a crap. <3
Thanks veggorules!
It is a tough situation since we've been friends since kindergarten... I'll try what you said, and maybe I'll also invite her over soon so she can see my cage in comparison to hers and see how much happier Theodore is than her hamster.

Right now I am in the process of convincing her that pine shavings are bad for hamsters' lungs
Pshh.. I think she is ignoring the email I sent her about this (The pine shavings). She answered my email about halloween costumes but not the other.
What a witch.
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