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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Vegan_Liz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937248"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Wow Rose, that sounds similar in a lot of ways but with me I don't think that my boyfriend KNOWS that he hurts me while your ex was just really uncaring.</div>
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Actually, I think my ex knew. I burst into tears in front of him several times, and he would say things like, "I feel so guilty," but would never change.<br><br>
I know you've got good moments with him too, but think about it - would you ever treat him the way he's treating you? Flirting with your guy friends and keeping things hidden from him. No, because you love him. Don't you want that in return?<br><br>
You say he deserves a second chance, but he honestly doesn't. Isn't this the guy who hung up on you when you first tried to discuss this with him? It's not even like he stopped on his own - he got caught in the act. I'm sorry to say it because I know you're hurting, but the whole thing just sounds fishy to me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AlixJ18</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937251"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I'm not comparing severity here but men that beat their gf/wife are often remorseful after as well, just saying.</div>
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This.
 

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Hello I just seen this and with my passed experience with two men similar to the one your involved with I think you deserve better. I am Thankful my husband don't treat me like this and he respects me and don't go around with other woman. I think many on here gave you wise advice in some areas of this relationship. I would just end the relationship if there is no trust in it and also if he is going around with other woman that is not normal. I wish you luck.
 

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This may have been said already, but the reason he treats you like that is because on some level he KNOWS that you don't have anyone but him and he KNOWS you're dependent on him. So he figures he can do whatever he wants and you have no choice but to deal with it.<br><br>
I suggest meeting new people and more friends. It will make it easier for you to leave him.<br><br>
He's being nice to you now because he's trying to regain your trust. He's making sure he won't lose you. Then when he feels like you've forgiven him, he'll start being a jerk again.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Vegan_Liz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937248"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
He let me go through everything on his lap top as well as his phone.</div>
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Do you think he would be willing to do that before all this? If there was anything suspicious on there he had plenty of time to erase it all and get rid of it.
 

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You're probably right. I mean I know he deleted all of his emails but I feel as though he and I are both starting anew.<br><br>
I wish I could explain him. He's very complex. I don't think that there is anything left for me to say, only to play it by ear. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate all of the advice that you guys have given me, it really made me feel a lot less alone in this situation. But I have to do what I think is right and what I think is right is to stay with him.<br><br>
I hope no one thinks less of me because of it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Vegan_Liz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937438"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You're probably right. I mean I know he deleted all of his emails but I feel as though he and I are both starting anew.<br><br>
I wish I could explain him. He's very complex. I don't think that there is anything left for me to say, only to play it by ear. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate all of the advice that you guys have given me, it really made me feel a lot less alone in this situation. But I have to do what I think is right and what I think is right is to stay with him.<br><br>
I hope no one thinks less of me because of it.</div>
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We're here if you need us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> It's your life, you're the one who has to live with your decisions. We can't make you do anything and I completely understand the complexity of a relationship.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>fadeaway1289</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937322"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Do you think he would be willing to do that before all this? If there was anything suspicious on there he had plenty of time to erase it all and get rid of it.</div>
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Indeed... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/inquisitive.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":stinkeye:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Poppy</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937266"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Imho, cut your losses. You don't want to be with someone you doubt - certainly not at this point in your life. While no one is perfect, and while we all disappoint each other at one time or another, this stuff signals trouble ahead. Second chances are for when you really have few options - you share a mortgage, bills, kids, pets, etc - when breaking up would be so emotionally, financially and spiritually draining that you really do have to consider all possibilities. A second chance for an immature and uncommitted (and frequently mistaken for a psychopath?!?) college guy will no doubt be a waste of time.<br><br>
Anyway, no matter what you decide to do in the long run, work on yourself! Make some friends - of both sexes - and treat your friendships with respect and nurturing. Enjoy some hobbies, get more social, go do things you like to do whether or not bf goes along. Make your life bigger!</div>
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This.<br><br>
Your decisions are your own, but staying with him sounds like a recipe for a lot of future pain to me.<br><br>
I understand it's hard to leave someone you love though, I have stayed in relationships longer than I should have because at the time the thought of leaving was too painful. Now in retrospect I really regret not getting out earlier, I could have saved a lot of my dignity... But there is a side to love that almost borders on chemical addiction, people can be hard to quit even when you know they are really bad for you.<br><br>
If you are giving him a second chance I think the second paragraph of Poppy's post needs special emphasis. Make your life bigger! Find other outlets and other things you love so your life isn't all about some boyfriend, then in the future if you do decide to get rid of him you'll have so many other good things and other people to support you.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Vegan_Liz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937438"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br><br><br>
I hope no one thinks less of me because of it.</div>
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Well, put it this way, you're not exactly gonna be in the running for the "Confident and Assertive Young Woman of the Year" award. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Vegan_Liz</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937438"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
You're probably right. I mean I know he deleted all of his emails but I feel as though he and I are both starting anew.<br><br>
I wish I could explain him. He's very complex. I don't think that there is anything left for me to say, only to play it by ear. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate all of the advice that you guys have given me, it really made me feel a lot less alone in this situation. But I have to do what I think is right and what I think is right is to stay with him.<br><br>
I hope no one thinks less of me because of it.</div>
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A lot of women make the mistake of thinking that their men are very complex. But the ones that women mistake for complex are actually more simple than most.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>fadeaway1289</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937322"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Do you think he would be willing to do that before all this? If there was anything suspicious on there he had plenty of time to erase it all and get rid of it.</div>
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If you still have access to his computer, check his email sent folder. A lot of people forget a copy of any sent emails are saved in there.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Chrysalis</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937292"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
This may have been said already, but the reason he treats you like that is because on some level he KNOWS that you don't have anyone but him and he KNOWS you're dependent on him. So he figures he can do whatever he wants and you have no choice but to deal with it.<br><br>
I suggest meeting new people and more friends. It will make it easier for you to leave him.<br><br>
He's being nice to you now because he's trying to regain your trust. He's making sure he won't lose you. Then when he feels like you've forgiven him, he'll start being a jerk again.</div>
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This is dead-on.
 

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If this is want you truely want to do then I hope it works out.<br>
Just as everyone else is saying Im guessing he'll be nice to you(overly out of character nice) for a week...maybe two..then itll be back to the old ways.<br>
Sorry to seem harsh but I know a few people who've had this sort of thing happen and Ive seen the pattern before.
 

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VL "I made Ben block..."<br><br>
Any time you are "making" someone else do something, you are demonstrating one of 2 things: 1. you actually have control over him, which would make you a tyrant or 2. you don't trust him to control himself, which would make the relationship non-viable. In either case, this is a bad relationship. In the first case, you are a manipulating person and I don't understand why he would want to be with you. You are trying to demonstrate to the "other woman" that <i>you</i> control him, not her, not him. But what this actually may demonstrate is that there is something wrong with you.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>.Goth-Alice.</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937873"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
If this is want you truely want to do then I hope it works out.<br>
Just as everyone else is saying Im guessing he'll be nice to you(overly out of character nice) for a week...maybe two..then itll be back to the old ways.<br>
Sorry to seem harsh but I know a few people who've had this sort of thing happen and Ive seen the pattern before.</div>
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This is most likely what will happen. Sometimes people have to experience it for themselves though for it to fully register rather then have people tell/warn them.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2937544"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
A lot of women make the mistake of thinking that their men are very complex. But the ones that women mistake for complex are actually more simple than most.</div>
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Exactly.<br><br>
"He's complex" is the same thing as "he's a jerk and I don't want to admit it."
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Chrysalis</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2938598"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Exactly.<br><br>
"He's complex" is the same thing as "he's a jerk and I don't want to admit it."</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Then when he feels like you've forgiven him, he'll start being a jerk again.</div>
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What I am about to say is harsh, but also a warning as it happened to my friend,she caught her BF flirting with other women, and isnt sure if he cheated, he cried for forgiveness, she took him and and he treated her like a princess for a week or so...then.....she decided to 'treat' him in bed...next morning he got up, made his own breakfast, nothing for her, got ready and left for work without so much as a goodbye...theyre such sweetiepies till they get what they want.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>.Goth-Alice.</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2938864"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
What I am about to say is harsh, but also a warning as it happened to my friend,she caught her BF flirting with other women, and isnt sure if he cheated, he cried for forgiveness, she took him and and he treated her like a princess for a week or so...then.....she decided to 'treat' him in bed...next morning he got up, made his own breakfast, nothing for her, got ready and left for work without so much as a goodbye...theyre such sweetiepies till they get what they want.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> It's horrible, but true...I've seen so many instances of basically the exact same thing, and experienced it once myself. Some lessons come the hard way.
 
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