I can see how you'd feel unspecial, I would too.
This. Listen to this.Originally Posted by sequoia
The thing is, it doesn't MATTER that you love him. You are thinking entirely with your heart. You need to listen to your brain, which I'm sure is telling you that this guy is bad news. I have loved alcoholics, liars, gambling addicts, and druggies. That doesn't mean that I should have stayed with those men. They had no place in my life, and consistently hurt me. He WILL continue to hurt you, so why not end it now?
It might be a good idea to give it a few days. Also, journalling is a great exercise if you are feeling overwhelmed by feelings and thoughts.
This is very good advice, sometimes you need to look at a situation with fresh eyes.Originally Posted by dormouse
One thing that also might help is to read your original post in this thread, and pretend that somebody else wrote it. You don't know the guy involved, you only hear this evidence. What advice would you give to somebody posting that?
It was thinking this way that showed me how much I was lying to myself concerning a previous relationship.
*hugs*Originally Posted by dormouse
A lot of people stay in crap relationships using the excuse "but I love him." You might want to think whether or not that's even true? Why do you love him? Do these new details you've learned about him mean that the he isn't who you thought he was? Are you really in love with him or just who you thought he was/could be? Don't let the desire to have a boyfriend and the fear to be alone compel you to stay with someone who doesn't respect you. I really think his hanging up on you says it all. He needed time to think of good responses; he knows he did something wrong.
He sounds like he is 100% untrustworthy though. But, I do agree that trust is the foundation of the relationship. I had a boyfriend who was like that with girls and I didn't "put up" with it. I don't believe in asking people to change (b/c people really don't fundamentally change, they just end up being resentful that you asked them to) though, so I just broke up with him. I told him why, he offered to do things differently, I passed b/c that behavior was part of who he was. I just did not feel comfortable with being someone who behaved that way. He showed me who he was, and I chose to believe his behavior over his words.Originally Posted by affidavit
It show you don't trust him, which is obviously fair, but doesn't give you much of a foundation for keeping the relationship.