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I'm feeling really bad today. I don't have anyone to talk to. I'm just writing this for my own sake really. To get out how i'm feeling.<br><br><br><br>
My mum started nagging me to loose some weight. I know she means well but it just makes me feel so uncomfortable in my own house that i want to run away.<br><br><br><br>
I have been reading this board, and i don't think i have an over-eating dissorder or anything, i just really like food that tastes good. I don't eat for comfort or keep eating when i'm full. I can keep a block of chocolate for weeks and not eat it all in one day.<br><br><br><br>
I just love to cook. Food is one of my pleasures in life. I don't go out much, and i pretty much only spend my money on food and saving up for travelling. I love to try new things and new recipes. I love to go out for a meal. To me, not being able to eat beautiful food is like taking away one of my hobbies. One of my only hobbies. I would be a chef if i wasn't a vegetarian (and all chefs weren't such *******s)<br><br><br><br>
I am looking for work and somtimes that gets me down. I think i might be prone to minor depression. Sometimes i get so down after a rejection from an employer that i feel like i have no energy/motovation, and i don't feel like doing anything for a whole day or so.<br><br><br><br>
I am feeling like that now. I just want to lock myself in my room and avoid my family. And lie in my bed and cry. I think i feel like avoiding them because i feel like i'm being judged by my mum.<br><br><br><br>
I have been trying not to eat infront of them. But its hard. I have been not eating until i feel really hungry. Everytime i go into the kitchen my mum comes in. That makes me very uncomfortable and anxious. Then i go lock myself in my room and cry.<br><br><br><br>
I got up this morning and had a coffee and locked myself in my room. After a few hours i got hungry and i went to make a wrap. My mum came in and tried to talk to me about other stuff, but i don't want to talk to her. I just want her to leave me alone for a few days. I took my sandwich to my room and started to cry because she made me feel bad about eating it. Then i started to eat it really fast because i was starving, and then i didn't enjoy it anyway.<br><br><br><br>
I have thought about not eating. Or trying bullima because then i can still enjoy my food... but i know how bad that is. My ex-best freind was bullimic for many years and is in really bad shape because of it. She has no teeth because they have rotted away from the bullimia.<br><br><br><br>
I think i will go and buy some stuff i can keep in my room and eat during the day just to stop me from fainting, and then go and cook myself a nice meal everynight after everyone has gone to bed.<br><br><br><br>
I just feel like its not anyone else's buisiness what my weight is. Its my issue and i have to deal with it. In my own time in my own way. I don't need pressure from other people. The pressure just makes me ****ed up and miserable, doesn't help me at all.<br><br><br><br>
I have been the same weight for several years. I generally don't feel bad about myself or worry about my weight too much, but i know i should loose a bit. I don't like people who are obsessed by what they eat. I don't want to be like that. I just eat what i want to eat. I think my diet is very balanced as far as vitamins, minerals, fibre etc goes, except its higher in fat than it should be.<br><br><br><br>
i usually eat 3 meals a day and don't snack that much - mainly i snack when mum is cooking dinner and i'm starving and dinner is taking ages... i often don't eat until i'm really hungry, and don't often eat when i'm not hungry. i eat out about once a fortnight. I don't eat fast food very often, i go out for thai or vietnamese usually when i go out.<br><br><br><br>
I don't do much excerise because i hate sports and i live in a fairly isolated area at the top of a hill (not great for bike riding!) I would do it if there was something that appealed to me and was practicle. I could get an exercise bike i suppose, but i feel really self-concious about that too...<br><br><br><br>
I don't know what to do. I feel like doing something irrational, like hiding snacks in my room and eating when no-one is around is the best thing i can do, but at the same time i know that sounds crazy. I just want to be let alone.<br><br><br><br>
i feel like i want to run away and smoke lots of cigarettes (i no longer smoke)<br><br><br><br>
Thanks for listening. I feel a but better now than i did when i started writing this.<br><br><br><br>
Please don't reply.
 

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Do you want me to close this thread? Since you don't want replies.
 

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You are right in that your weight is nobody elses business but your own and you have every right in the world to enjoy food and cook and eat what you want, where you want and not feel uncomfortable about it.<br><br><br><br>
It is wrong for your mother to make you feel like this. She is trying to bully or intimiate you into dieting.<br><br><br><br>
You must talk to your mother about this issue. It sounds like you're extremely upset about your mother's behaviour. Tell her how her behaviour has made you feel. If she wants you to loose weight then she should come up with some positive suggestions that will enable you to continue to enjoy food with her support in a healthy way and lose weight.<br><br><br><br>
On a completely different matter<br><br>
"I think i will go and buy some stuff i can keep in my room and eat during the day just to stop me from fainting" This is extremely worrying and you should not be starving yourself to this degree.
 
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