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Here is what my crazy cat would say, if he were able to talk. If he had opposable thumbs and the abilty to talk he would be dangerous!


1. I want CANNED cat food, PUH-lease? I don't wanna eat the stuff from the bag again.

2. I am SS kitty, I creep under the bed clothes I will now attack your feet.

3. Hey, it's 5AM, I'm gonna paw at your face until you wake up!

4. Whuuu? Who? What? Oh ****! There's a monster under the couch, I'm gonna lunge and attack it!

5. Oh, were you reading that newspaper? It looks so comfortable I think I'll camp my ass right here!

6. Oh look, Mom and dad are having guests, I think I'll stop in the middle of the living room and play the cello! Won't they be impressed

7. I wanna go outside, PULEASE? NOW! I don't care if you have to go to work, Let the CAT out, PUHLEASE?

8. My face is itchy, oh look the corner of the table I think I'll rub my face on it.

9. The bath towels are my enemy, I will attack and kill!

What do your pets say?
 

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I wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outsideI wanna go outside

I THINK THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL SHE EVER WANTS TO DO
 

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1) Talk to me...pay attention to me....HEY YOU!!! (all while pawing my leg and howling)

2) Time to eat...Time to EAT....TIME TO EAT!!!!

3) Mmmm, yummy, paper towels

4) I'm mad at you (while staring me in the face and peeing on the carpet, right after having been out to go to the bathroom)
 

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"Are you sleeping, mommy? Is it okay if I sleep directly on your spleen? I know I weigh twenty pounds, but you're a pretty comfortable pillow."

"Look at my butt!! Look, look!!"

"Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Daddy didn't feed me, I swear! Hungry!"
 

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The cats - (Buzz - my fat boy; Baby - the old ornery lady; Thea - the freak/brat):

Buzz - "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump."

Baby - "Look how cute I am! Hey, move over! *I* have seniority!"

Thea - "Weoweoweoweoweow! Feed me, Seymour! I will place my hairs EVERWHERE!"

The dog:

Filo - "Huh? Let's play let's play let's play let's play let's play! Huh? Oooh...cat butt!"
 

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My bird Screech would be saying "Pay attention to me!!! AHHHHH! I neeeeeed to be held!! MOm MoM MOM!!! Pick me up pick me up puhhleeease!!" Hence why his name is Screech.. I need to put earplugs on my shopping list while I'm thinking about that.

My cat Bubba would be saying "I'm just going to plop right here in the middle of whatever paperwork you're doing so you'll scratch the spot on my back I can't reach.. again. OOhhhhhh yeah.. good human.. that's a good human. Who's the man of this house? Oh yeah it's me! *smirk*"

My other cat Steak would be more like "ARggHH I can't believe you're picking me up!! I just got my beautiful fur the way I like it and now you're messing it up! *pout* I'm giving you the stare of death until you put me down.. Ahhhh no more kisses!! I know I'm cute but geez Mom!"
 

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My cat talking:

1) where are you going? 2) can I come with you

3) Feed me!!! 4) Please stop singing - it hurts my ears 5) pet me

6) pay attention to me 7) Can I go outside?? 8) Where are you??

9) Why aren't you paying attention to me??? 10) can I drink out of the toilet?? 11) Have you forgotten that I exist 12) You want to think about feeding me now
 

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My animals DO talk.

Zenith: I want to go outside. NOW. I want food. Is there food in my bowl? Come with me just in case there's no food. There's food, you're free to go. OR, NO FOOD! Food, NOW! Hello. Hello. Me again. What? What do you want? Stupid human. Love you. Whoops, that just slipped out. Didn't mean it.

Hopper: Come here bird I want to EAT YOU! I'm STARVING! FEED NOW PLEASE! BIRD! BIRDIE! DIE! (Hopper is scary).

Mojo: Hello! Why do I have to sit? Why do I have to lie down? Fine *grumble* I'm doing it. See? Stop it. Mummy, Mummy, look at me! NOW! Come on, throw the ball! Throw it! You think I'm giving it back to you now? Naive human. Hang on, pay attention! Fine, have the ball then. Mummy, can I come up? Why not? Is that for me? Why not? Can I have it? Why not? When am I getting food? Why? Oh, look, BAD DOG MY TERRITORY GO AWAY! What? Oh, no need to get so worked up about it. BAD PERSON GET OFF MY GRASS! Khan, leave me alone! Khan, play with me. NOW! Khan, lie still and shut up while I clean your ears. Mummy, that's Daddy! Mummy, you're weird.

Khan: I love you. And you. And you. Go away Mojo. Pat me! Not her. Oh, I guess you're okay. I love you Mojo. Mummy! Love you mummy! Daddy's home. You still love me Mummy? More than Daddy? Hi Daddy. Mummy loves me. See? Oh, BAD DOG GO AWAY MY TERRITORY! MOJO SHUT UP! BAD HUMAN GET LOST! See, aren't I good Mummy? Food? Is that for me? You don't really mean it when you tell me to get out of the kitchen? You love me anyway. Kiss? Dinner? YAY! You love me.
 

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mine would say "i can do a sumber sault" in Ralph Wiggum's voice.
 
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