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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just don't get that movie. How the hell did a 50' tall ape track down this woman in New York. WTF? She is hanging out in an empty hotel bar having a drink, turns and sees his big paw *slowly* coming through the window, and doesn't scream or react until he grabs her. Was she high or something? Haven't these flipping idiot heard of basements?

Listen, if I have a 50' ape chasing my narrow ass through New York, you can bet your sweet ass I'll be hiding in the subway.

And don't get me started on Kong Island. I'm to believe these villagers sacrifice a woman to Kong at every full moon? And what does he do with them? I know he had a sexual thing for the white lady in this one, but what did he do with the others? You would think he would figure out that Tab A is way, way to big for Slot B eventually. And how do you pick the lucky lady to spend "One Night in Bangkok" with the 50' tall ape? Is it like "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire"? "Who Wants to Marry a 50' Tall Ape"? I can't imagine many contestants, but I would bet Fox would air it.

Ever notice the shower scene in Kong? Where he dips the chick in the waterfall? Am I to believe a giant ape got picky because his miniature doll got some mud on her? And then he blows her dry? Damndest "blow job" I ever saw on TV let-me-tell-you-thank-you-very-much.

And how the hell did they get army units on the bridges a few minutes after Kong escaped? Where are all these army dudes when people are getting mugged normally? Shenanigans. Shenanigans, I say.

Is it so damn hard to make a realistic movie about a 50' tall ape? Really.

Now I'm watching Planet of the Apes. The damn astronauts must be as bright as dirt. The first clue that something is odd on that "strange, far away planet" isn't that it is inhabited by talking apes, it's that the apes SPEAK ENGLISH! Hello, McFly! Shouldn't that flippin' tell you something?

I'm gonna go write my screenplay now. It's gonna be "Planet of the 50' Tall Apes", and it will be realistic let-me-tell-you-thank-you-very-much.
 

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I just remembered another movie with a "you maniacs" quote..

"What have you done to him? What have you done to his eyes, you maniacs!"
 

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" How the hell did a 50' tall ape track down this woman in New York. WTF?"

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Hmmm, I guess the main reason would be .. 'it's a movie' ;-)

I think maybe your version would be worse

"giant ape sees woman .... she runs to subway .... ape can't get her ... ape sit's there sulking for the rest of the hour or the movie ;-)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by dk_art

" How the hell did a 50' tall ape track down this woman in New York. WTF?"

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Hmmm, I guess the main reason would be .. 'it's a movie' ;-)

I think maybe your version would be worse

"giant ape sees woman .... she runs to subway .... ape can't get her ... ape sit's there sulking for the rest of the hour or the movie ;-)
Nope, mine would be better. The ape would then go on a full blown rampage, swatting the ineffetice attacks of the police asie, and generally causing chaos. The irate folks in NY watching the 50' ape go off would then toss the lady back on the street. The ape would then chase her, and eat her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by carnelian

Were you watching the originals or the remakes?
King Kong remake, Planet of the Apes original (the remake of that one just pisses me off.)
 
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