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Herbivorous Urchin
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Advanced warning: Please don't post non-sense about how I'll grow out of it, or monogamy is the way to be, I'll just ignore that anyway and it's not what I'm asking for.<br><br>
I think I'm just not meant to be in serious long term relationships. If I am in one for 6 months, I get bored and start the hate the person I'm worth, and if by some miracle it lasts longer than 6 months, I get bored and start hating the person I'm with. I truly love not being attached to someone for more than a few weeks, I never want kids, and I don't derive my self worth from my relationship status. It's not that I like 'racking up the numbers' but I do really like changing partners frequently.<br><br><br>
Has anyone else come to this conclusion, maybe not from the same reasons, but in general?
 

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I don't know if it's just where I am right now, but I have no interest in staying with the same person for any length of time. Whatever works for you, I say.
 

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It's not right for me either. Like you, I get bored. I'm also not big on monogamy.
 

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There is a point in relationships when the early magic wears off, and if the closeness and love and wanting to start a life together feelings haven't developed for that couple, the relationship doesn't survive. I think it just happens quicker these days (like the six-month mark you mentioned) because relationships develop very fast.<br><br>
And yes, I do think some people don't want or need long-term monogomy. Luckily in our society, this is more acceptable than it used to be. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I never had any interest in long-term relationships until I met my husband. Like you, I just got bored and sick of whoever I was with. My longest relationship was 6 months, and that was super/super long for me. I agree that some people just aren't wired for it. For some (like me) I guess I just had to find the "right person" or whatever.
 

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I should mention, I just ended a 7 year long relationship in November, so that may be why I feel the way I do right now. We're still fantastic friends.
 

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Herbivorous Urchin
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AddieB</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3100959"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I never had any interest in long-term relationships until I met my husband. Like you, I just got bored and sick of whoever I was with. My longest relationship was 6 months, and that was super/super long for me. I agree that some people just aren't wired for it. For some (like me) I guess I just had to find the "right person" or whatever.</div>
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excellent point!!
 

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Apparently married people live longer and healthier lives than the single. Many people don't split up because they have children, property or are afraid of living alone.<br><br>
Are people in a relationship really happier than single people ? I agree that the magic feeling when you start a new relationship only lasts a few months. If after this period the relationship is still going it may be for numerous other reasons.
 

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Different strokes for different folks. My only suggestion is let the other person know up front, no sense in them wasting their time if they are the type to want something more permanent.
 

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Considering the fact I sometimes have shouting matches with the mental apparition of my ex, who will not SHUT HER DAMN MOUTH, EVER (get out of my head you rotten memory! STOP TALKING TO ME)... I think it might be a while before I ever consider myself the type of person who even believes in love again.
 

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Herbivorous Urchin
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Josh James xVx</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3102360"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Considering the fact I sometimes have shouting matches with the mental apparition of my ex, who will not SHUT HER DAMN MOUTH, EVER (get out of my head you rotten memory! STOP TALKING TO ME)... I think it might be a while before I ever consider myself the type of person who even believes in love again.</div>
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I had a really bad relationship, and I did that for almost a year after we broke up.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>AddieB</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3100959"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I never had any interest in long-term relationships until I met my husband. Like you, I just got bored and sick of whoever I was with. My longest relationship was 6 months, and that was super/super long for me. I agree that some people just aren't wired for it. For some (like me) I guess I just had to find the "right person" or whatever.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:"> This is exactly me. I was pretty much done with relationships altogether until I met my current guy. We've only been together for 4 years but he feels like a keeper.<br><br>
I don't think there is a one size fits all answer when it comes to people and relationships. I know so many different kinds of people who want different things, including a few people who are happily polyamorous. Some people thrive on multiple relationships and love the excitement and novelty, others like me find it really stressful and prefer avoiding most people <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p"><br><br>
Finding out what kind of person you are and what kind of relationships you prefer is just part of life I guess. I say do what feels right as long as you aren't hurting anyone else.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Josh James xVx</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3102360"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Considering the fact I sometimes have shouting matches with the mental apparition of my ex, who will not SHUT HER DAMN MOUTH, EVER (get out of my head you rotten memory! STOP TALKING TO ME)... I think it might be a while before I ever consider myself the type of person who even believes in love again.</div>
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Aww <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br>
I think that's a common reaction, I did the same thing for a long while after a really close friendship of mine turned super ugly. It helps work things out and deal with the conflict after the fact at least, even if it makes you feel a little crazy.
 

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I have a few friends like this. I'm the exact opposite, long term relationships are all I keep! But one of my close friends won't even think about keeping a boyfriend. She goes on dates, keeps friends of the opposite sex, and is content living as such for the rest of her life. Her views on love in her life are straight forward and they make her happy. I love that she has full disclosure with her partners and dates, and that she always introduces more friends into my life! The more the merrier!
 

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There's nothing like a long-term relationship to expose your personality/character flaws/baggage etc, and from my own life experience, I would say that it's usually the people who say that they "weren't meant for long term relationships" who are the one's that can't handle the criticism about themselves, and would rather run from their faults using that very excuse, than actually work on their flaws, change the things about themselves that may be annoying to other people, and try to become a better person.
 

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i was in the very same position before. All of my relationships seem to last about a year and then I am annoyed by everything about them even the way they breathe. I was also in very bad relationships, The one i am in now has been about 7 months going on 8 and we are still perfectly fine he is a good guy and we love each other. Maybe its not us its the people we chose to date. I figured I will never grow out of it and i dont think i did maybe i just found the right guy. if u want a tip to try and be with someone longer try looking at them like your BEST best friend instead of as in a relationship.
 

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I wouldn't mind a LTR, but only at a later stage in life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/tongue3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":p">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>River</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3100938"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
If I am in one for 6 months, I get bored and start the hate the person I'm <b>worth</b>.</div>
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Interesting typo. They aren't for everyone and they take a lot of work. At least for me they do. I used to think I just wasn't meant for long term relationships, and still believe that may be the case for some people, but I have been in one for over a year now with a very kind and understanding person who accepts that I need "alone time" from time to time.
 

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<p>~~~~~</p>
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>whisper</strong> <a href="/forum/post/3112291"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I've had a few long term relationships, but I prefer being single. They feel suffocating and I really like my freedom to come and go as I please. Yep, I'm selfish and I've earned that right at my age. I want to be able to watch what I want to watch, eat when I feel like eating, read when the mood hits. I don't want to have to check in with someone if I feel like staying out longer than planned with a friend, or if I decide to stay over at their place. I no longer want to compromise and watch some mindless wrestling show, just because he wants me to spend time with him doing something he likes. I did all that when I was younger, now it's my time to do as I please.</div>
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I don't think that is selfish at all honestly.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> It's your life so why should you have to compromise.
 
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